In a perfect world, a victim of sexual violence would always be met with empathy. Of course, the world is not perfect, and instead victims are often met with skepticism. People question the validity of their victimization based on the nature of the victim rather than the nature of the perpetrator or the crime.
This doesn't make sense, as Laci Greene demonstrates at 1:05, because we don't apply this sort of logic to any other crimes. But she really brings it home at 1:50 when she goes over the five biggest problems with assigning blame to the victim instead of the perpetrator.
Oh, and next time you're tempted to say something like "What was she wearing?" instead say what Laci says at 4:07.
If you didn't want your photo stolen, you shouldn't have taken them. What was she thinking going out dressed like that? She could have left, but she didn't. It's her own fault she has a black eye now. I mean, let's be honest. She was kind of asking for it getting that drunk. Wow, hold up just a hot minute. What are you even saying right now?
Babes, there are few things that hurts my soul so much as a little thing called victim blaming. I'm going to be talking about sex crimes in this video, but victim blaming has all kinds of applications. The mentality is that by engaging in certain behaviors, they ask for it to happen. Common blame worthy offences include: going out at night, taking nude photos, wearing tight clothing, short skirts, being promiscuous, getting drunk. Notice anything about that list? Yeah, all those things that people claim are asking for is are actually rights and freedoms that every human being is entitled to, and when I say human, I do include women in that group. This is how bizarre victim blaming sounds to me. Your identity was stolen. Why were you using a credit card? If you had used cash, this never would have happened. He punched you in the face? Where was your protective helmet? You were mugged. What were you wearing? A suit?
Everyone's trying to make money. You don't have to flaunt the fact that you have some. It's basically asking them to steal from you. Okay, enough bad acting. Do you give my drift? The problem with blaming the victim is that it's the predator that caused the crime, not the victim or their clothing or the pictures. Fun fact, actually it's not that fun, crimes happen when perpetrators choose to violate someone. Rape, sexual assault, theft, harassment, non-consensual distribution of sexual photos, those are all decisions that someone made to violate another person.
There are five big problems with blaming the victims of sex crimes. First and foremost, and what I feel should be the most obvious is that it protects sexual predators. Why do we do that so much? Sometimes I hear people say things like, men rape people. That's the way it is. Then I start backing away very slowly. That's also super degrading. Most men are good people and those that aren't choose not to be. When we say absurd things like men can't control themselves it enables those who are choosing to commit crimes. They know they'll be dismissed, coddled, protected. They won't be held accountable. That's got to change.
Number two, this is how instead of preventing crime victim blaming actually invites more crime.
Number three, victim blaming makes it hard for justice to be served. Those real-life attitudes are in Congress. They are in the police forces. They're splattered across the media. They're bearing down on the brave survivor who has decided to seek justice when the cross-examiner asks her how short her skirt was.
Number four, in the context of sex crimes, victim blaming often fuels misogyny. Sometimes I hear people talk about how she needs to face the consequences for her actions. In this bizarre mindset, violation is framed as a deserved punishment, usually for a woman who has stepped out of line. In this way, victim blaming creates this never-ending list of rules that women are supposed to abide by in order to have their humanity respected. I mean, ****, we're taught from the time that we're little girls to fear men's attacks if we do something wrong. Like, how sick is that? And why are we so quick to defend men's freedom including the freedom to commit crimes while handing women a long list of restrictions on our everyday lives?
Lastly, number five, when we live in this culture that's hell-bent on blaming the victim, it should come as no surprise that the victims blame themselves too. There's a whole series of mental gymnastics that rape survivors go through. What did I do wrong? How could I have prevented this from happening to me? Reality is they did nothing wrong. The predator was wrong. Men and children are raped as well. Were they really asking for it by dressing slutty? I don't think so. This re-victimizes them and it creates a stigma that makes it so hard to pursue justice, because they don't think they deserve it and they know the world doesn't think they deserve justice either.
I just wanted to say to all my babes out there, if you were assaulted it was absolutely not your fault. If you were raped, it was not your fault. There was nothing that you did to invite that. If you had photos stolen, photos of you distributed, it wasn't your fault. You have a right to be sexual with your partner in ways that you consent to and no more than that. If you were harassed by someone, it's not your fault. If you were abused by someone, it's not your fault. You have a right to safety and respect no matter what. Every time I see someone blame the victim, it just eats me up inside. You deserve so much better. Thanks for watching babes, I'll see you next time.
