TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

What does mom truly expect the school to do here?

huskerbb · Guru

Sure, they can hold workshops and students forums like this--but it sounds like she wanted the school to somehow be responsible for these bullies even though the bullying was largely taking place in cyberspace and outside of school hours.

Sure, schools are responsible for what happens during school hours, on or with school property, or on school activities--but beyond that, as tragic as this is, we cannot expect schools to police every student's facebook posts, twitter feeds, text messages, and emails--not to mention every other social media that has proliferated out there.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

We will never eliminate every form of bullying. We need to go back to "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".

huskerbb · Guru

I know this isn't a popular opinion because it smacks of "punishing" the victim of the bullying--but truly, no one needs facebook or other social media. If your child is having problems due to those--then keep them off of them. It seems like a pretty simple solution that would at least reduce SOME of the bullying they face.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We will never eliminate every form of bullying. We need to go back to "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".

Except WORDS DO HURT.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We will never eliminate every form of bullying. We need to go back to "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".
Except WORDS DO HURT.
flan

Ok. We can stipulate that bullying in all forms is bad. Now what?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We will never eliminate every form of bullying. We need to go back to "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".
Except WORDS DO HURT.
flan
Ok. We can stipulate that bullying in all forms is bad. Now what?

Actually, I agree with you on social media.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We will never eliminate every form of bullying. We need to go back to "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".
Except WORDS DO HURT.
flan
Ok. We can stipulate that bullying in all forms is bad. Now what?
Actually, I agree with you on social media.
flan

But I think gaga is saying that there truly is only so much that can be done. We can't police all those words even if we wanted to. At some point, the victim has to learn how to cope.

Lindley · Guru

I believe with kids you should keep the computer in a common area other then their rooms and moniter their facebooks and all sitrs they are on. Make them close down facebook or what other area they are on if they are getting bullied. At least that worked for me. My kids didn't get bullied but they were not so depended on social media not to put up with cyber bulling.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I think it's terrible that nothing can be done - but Husker is right. I mean, the girl could have blocked her facebook so none of them could get to her page, or gotten off it altogether.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Yes. Bullying is bad.

But there are tons of people who deal with this every day. Most do not kill themselves.

I truly believe those who do, already had those tendencies and the bullying may have exacerbated the situation.

That being said, yes we really need to learn how to get our kids off the computer and out of their own heads more.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Lindley wrote:
I believe with kids you should keep the computer in a common area other then their rooms and moniter their facebooks and all sitrs they are on. Make them close down facebook or what other area they are on if they are getting bullied. At least that worked for me. My kids didn't get bullied but they were not so depended on social media not to put up with cyber bulling.

I think this is a very good idea.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

I agree. What was this child's mother doing that she didn't shut down facebook, delete the texting apps, clear out all access that these people had to her daughter. This is what parents are supposed to do - protect. Teach the child how to protect herself. Not throw her to the wolves and then blame others.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

In the article they suggest that if you see someone eating alone to go sit with them. Unless it is the beautiful people who do that they risk the chance of also become a victim of bullying. Becoming an outcast by association. Sad but true.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Our computer is in the kitchen. Of course I have this laptop and C has hers but I am in the living room with it and C uses hers at the table most of the time.

I monitor what my kids are doing. I may not go into their accounts and things like that. I can see what they are doing and there is always someone going through there so there is no real privacy.

And yeah. The mom should have done more herself. Blocking and deleting. But she also could have done more to help her daughter cause I do think the suicidal tendencies were there already.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Our computer is in a common area. But most kids over 9 have phones now.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Our computer is in a common area. But most kids over 9 have phones now.

Not mine. MAYBE when she's 12. MAYBE.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Our computer is in a common area. But most kids over 9 have phones now.
Not mine. MAYBE when she's 12. MAYBE.

And not all of those have internet either. But even if they did, if my kid was being bullied to the point of depression I would get rid of it.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

I'm a bit of a different mom. I would literally go kick some asses if my kid was bullied. I really would. If I had to sit in the gad damn room with her and glare daggers at the little ****ers who are bullying her, I would do it.

You don't get to **** with my kid and then blame her for not having thick skin. I will kick your ass. As many times as it took to get you to leave her alone.

Now, keep in mind, I'm speaking from experience here. It only took 1 week of my happy ass sitting in the room until they got the message. My kid is an untouchable. You don't **** with her. EVER. And, she made it through the next 7 years without me ever having to do that again. (she was also a cheerleader, and on the honor roll, very well adjusted)

VoiceOfReason · Guru

Well, I say well adjusted but I had to fake happiness when she made the cheer squad. My daughter. Mine. Weirdo.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Our computer is in a common area. But most kids over 9 have phones now.
Not mine. MAYBE when she's 12. MAYBE.

Ok so 12. Whats your point? My ddis 12 and she and all her friends have smart phones.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Our computer is in a common area. But most kids over 9 have phones now.
Not mine. MAYBE when she's 12. MAYBE.
Ok so 12. Whats your point? My ddis 12 and she and all her friends have smart phones.

Why?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Why not?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Why not?

I just don't see the need. Seems like a total waste of money, and what do they need them for? She is never anywhere there is not a phone available or an adult with a phone.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

We recently had a 13 year old girl kill herself. Her parents had no clue she was being bullied. She just went home from school one day and took her dad's gun and blew her brains out. The investigators found a lot of stuff on her computer. She even went on message boards talking about being bullied.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

My bf's 8 year old son has a phone so his mom can spy on us when it's our week to have him.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

VetteGirl wrote:
My bf's 8 year old son has a phone so his mom can spy on us when it's our week to have him.

Some women just can't let go. It's sickening.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Why not?
I just don't see the need. Seems like a total waste of money, and what do they need them for? She is never anywhere there is not a phone available or an adult with a phone.

Its a convenience. To be able to call after practices or text if she needs something . And easy to get a hold of her when she is out with friends. And no there are not phones everywhere. There are no payphones anymore. And i like my kids to keep up on technology.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

And I want her to have one. Lots of things are a waste of money. So what?

VoiceOfReason · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
And I want her to have one. Lots of things are a waste of money. So what?

I think it's smart. Just because we didn't, doesn't mean we wouldn't have benefited from them.

My kids (when they were about 9,11 and 12) had to walk 8 miles in flip flops because they didn't have a phone and their dad was a dumb ass. If they would have had a cell phone, that wouldn't have become such a family drama.

I can see you thinking you'd rather she had it and not NEED it, than need it and not have it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

My kids have a lot of things they don't " need". So does everyone. I like being able to text my sons when they are out.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I have a ton of stuff I don't need. If DD was 12 I'd probably give her a phone too.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

Need is kind of subjective too isn't it?

I don't need these plants, they're a waste of money because I'm a serial plant killer, but hey, I like them for the little while they live. We all have our splurges.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

VoiceOfReason wrote:
Need is kind of subjective too isn't it?

I don't need these plants, they're a waste of money because I'm a serial plant killer, but hey, I like them for the little while they live. We all have our splurges.

My soul sister!! I always tell people plants come to my house to die.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

My kids got a phone when they showed they were both mature enough and they would be in a situation in which they needed to use it.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
VoiceOfReason wrote:
Need is kind of subjective too isn't it?

I don't need these plants, they're a waste of money because I'm a serial plant killer, but hey, I like them for the little while they live. We all have our splurges.
My soul sister!! I always tell people plants come to my house to die.

I'm kind of the hospice of plant care as well. I give them comfort care until they shrivel and die.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

My outside stuff does ok. The second I get an inside plant it is like a death sentence.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I have one inside plant and it isn't doing well.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

I killed a cactus.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

A cactus. Do you know how hard it is to kill a cactus?

VoiceOfReason · Guru

Well, not too hard for me evidently.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Yep. Done it!

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I kill aloe.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

Ok. you win. I'm laughing and pointing at you.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

LOL, thanks. My dad does bonsai. His work is so beautiful. Obviously I didn't get his green thumb.

huskerbb · Guru

VoiceOfReason wrote:
I'm a bit of a different mom. I would literally go kick some asses if my kid was bullied. I really would. If I had to sit in the gad damn room with her and glare daggers at the little ****ers who are bullying her, I would do it.

You don't get to **** with my kid and then blame her for not having thick skin. I will kick your ass. As many times as it took to get you to leave her alone.

Now, keep in mind, I'm speaking from experience here. It only took 1 week of my happy ass sitting in the room until they got the message. My kid is an untouchable. You don't **** with her. EVER. And, she made it through the next 7 years without me ever having to do that again. (she was also a cheerleader, and on the honor roll, very well adjusted)

What "room"???? Where is this magical room that all cyber bullies congregate in?

VoiceOfReason · Guru

This was her 5th grade classroom.

VoiceOfReason · Guru

But I would have followed her around to all her classes if it happened in high school too. I don't give a damn. You don't get to threaten my kids self esteem. **** that noise. I'm her mom, you're not going to bully her. End of Story.

I kinda feel a bit like Gemma from SOA right now.

huskerbb · Guru

VoiceOfReason wrote:
This was her 5th grade classroom.

So the school let you go address her class as to bullying that happened outside of the school time?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Why not?
I just don't see the need. Seems like a total waste of money, and what do they need them for? She is never anywhere there is not a phone available or an adult with a phone.
Its a convenience. To be able to call after practices or text if she needs something . And easy to get a hold of her when she is out with friends. And no there are not phones everywhere. There are no payphones anymore. And i like my kids to keep up on technology.

My child hasn't gotten to the age that she's out and about without adults, yet. And she gets plenty of technology at school and home.