TOTALLY GEEKED!

Vette · Owl drink to that!

When is it time to stop bathing your child?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I still stand outside the shower and ask DD10 "did you wash.....".

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Well, I don't stand there the whole time. Just pop in.

I'd say you can stop watching them every second around age 4.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

I ask because I think it's weird that my bf still sits in the bathroom while his 9 year old son bathes, he even runs the water for him. But maybe it's not a big deal?

NAOW · Vette's SS

DD is 6 and bathes herself. She has for at least a year now. I do have to remind her when she gets in to wash her hair and body so she doesn't play the whole time.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

VetteGirl wrote:
I ask because I think it's weird that my bf still sits in the bathroom while his 9 year old son bathes, he even runs the water for him. But maybe it's not a big deal?

I don't really think that's weird. It's a good time for talking.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Sometimes when I'm taking a bath, DD10 will come in and sit and talk to me.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I don't know if it's a big deal or not, but I would think the kid could do it himself.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

He takes showers at his mom's so I know he can, his dad just babies him to death.

That's a good point about the quality time though LL.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

SS is nine and he likes us to run his bath water. He also calls me after he washes his hair so I can smell it. He uses those Suave shampoos that smell fruity or coconuty and I smell his hair to make sure he's really washed it. Either DH or I will also periodically pop in to remind him to wash this part or that. One of my boys took forever to be able to shower without reminders. At 13 he'd get out of the shower with tons of soap all foamy in his hair. I'd have to send him back in. I think boys are harder to train on the cleanliness front than girls.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

btw when I glanced at my own title I thought it said "when is it time to stop BEATING your child?" lol

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
SS is nine and he likes us to run his bath water. He also calls me after he washes his hair so I can smell it. He uses those Suave shampoos that smell fruity or coconuty and I smell his hair to make sure he's really washed it. Either DH or I will also periodically pop in to remind him to wash this part or that. One of my boys took forever to be able to shower without reminders. At 13 he'd get out of the shower with tons of soap all foamy in his hair. I'd have to send him back in. I think boys are harder to train on the cleanliness front than girls.

Ha! That's funny biggrin

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

VetteGirl wrote:
He takes showers at his mom's so I know he can, his dad just babies him to death.

That's a good point about the quality time though LL.

I used to wash SS and the therapist said he was getting too old and I needed to stop. I loved it though because we have some bath tub games and we would talk about his mom's house while we would shoot hoops.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

VetteGirl wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
SS is nine and he likes us to run his bath water. He also calls me after he washes his hair so I can smell it. He uses those Suave shampoos that smell fruity or coconuty and I smell his hair to make sure he's really washed it. Either DH or I will also periodically pop in to remind him to wash this part or that. One of my boys took forever to be able to shower without reminders. At 13 he'd get out of the shower with tons of soap all foamy in his hair. I'd have to send him back in. I think boys are harder to train on the cleanliness front than girls.
Ha! That's funny

I guess I should have been glad he used soap? biggrin

NAOW · Vette's SS

VetteGirl wrote:
btw when I glanced at my own title I thought it said "when is it time to stop BEATING your child?" lol

NEVER!!!

J/K! LOL.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

When the kid is no longer comfortable with a parent in the bathroom, it's time to stop.
Sometimes that was the only time I had to talk with my kids too.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Okay I'm glad I'm getting this input thank you because I totally thought he was too old to have his dad in the bathroom, but it looks like I am mistaken (I know, I know, that NEVER happens)

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

My brother bathed all seven of his kids with him. He had a huge shower. He'd pile them all in there with him and bathe them one at a time. Out they came one at a time. They were step stairs and he said it was the only way he could get a shower himself and get them all bathed without someone getting into something.

DemoniaD · Senior Member

My boys are 5 and 7 and shower themselves. Both are good about remembering to wash as they should. If it's taking them longer than it should, or sounds like playing is going on, we redirect them. DS7 is a get in, handle business, get out to move on to something more fun kind of kid. He also prefers privacy, and silence. DS5 like to take his time, he often sings, and sometimes wants to talk while he showers. He could care less whether the door is open or closed. If he was still physically bathing him, I'd say he's too old, but just hanging out with him while he does it? Nah. It's one of those things that vary by kid.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

So the BF isn't washing the boy. Just sitting in there while the boy washes?

Eh. I wouldn't think anything of it.

I don't really remember when the kids started bathing alone.

Some time around 5 I guess. But I still had to do the, "did you get" routine for a while.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Yeah he's not washing him just hanging out

FNW · Guru

My boys are 6 and we still bathe them. I bathe one and my husband bathes the other. My husband more or less just sits there and puts the shampoo on their head and they do the rest themselves. I do it all only to make sure they get all the crevices, don't play, don't flood the bathroom floor by playing and getting crazy, and to save time and get them to bed. And it's a good time for me to talk with them, one on one without their brother around, and see how their day went. They are more apt to confide in me when they don't think anyone else is around.

Oughttabeworking · Regular

DS8 started showering himself in the last year or so. I also do the smell the head thing to make sure he washed his hair. I also ask him "Arms, legs, belly, butt?" to remind him that he has to wash all over. He prefers alone time in the shower, primarily because he uses it to play, but also (I think) because DD is emphatic about her privacy in the bathroom.

JPT · Senior Member

It has been a while (mine are 36 and 34), but I can remember that DH was still "supervising" them in the tub at ages 7 and 5 because of a funny story. DH had them in the tub, and my dad was coming up to drop off his pup for us to sit while he went out of state to visit his parents.
Doorbell rings, and DS's decide to come running to the door, naked and wet and do a little "dance". It was a surprise for everyone, because dad not only had the dog, but a lady friend with him that no one knew was coming....the kids were embarrassed (lol and bare assed), and dad and future wife (my stepmother) had quite a laugh. In fact, she still every so often reminds them about that auspicious meeting nearly 30 years ago!
But back to the original question, I think it was shortly after that they started bathing/showering on their own.

-- Edited by JPT on Thursday 23rd of October 2014 10:33:13 AM

Vette · Owl drink to that!

JPT that's adorable!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Depends. My kids preferred showers by about age 6 or so. I would check the water temp till they got the hang of it and after that I left them alone.

Ilumine · Regular

It depends on the child.

My almost 6 yo can and does and wants to wash herself. But she is just not 100% there with a full and complete washing. So once a week or so, I get in there and make sure that I do a thorough clean.

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.

JPT · Senior Member

Ilumine wrote:
It depends on the child.

My almost 6 yo can and does and wants to wash herself. But she is just not 100% there with a full and complete washing. So once a week or so, I get in there and make sure that I do a thorough clean.

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.

Sort of a "white glove" inspection.... biggrin

ed11563 · Guru

Ilumine wrote:

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.

I knew a woman whose 6 y.o. DD had repeated / continuous bladder and kidney infections from e.coli.

I told her to (1) make sure her DD had time to poop every morning before school, and (2) washed herself there in the shower afterward, using a hand-held shower head and friction, to make sure everything came off. Other wise, she would lose the rest of her kidney function. (She was down to 50% of one kidney and 30% of the other.)

If you do get a hand-held shower head, make sure it's positioned low enough that the child can reach it when it's in the holder, and make sure the child knows exactly what to do with it.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Well, I've never said this publicly before. Only in pm's. But nine year old SS had the not wiping his butt issue. It got so bad that this summer I tried a million things to make him wipe. Finally I tore his butt up. I mean hard. And I told him that if I caught him not wiping again I'd tear it up every time I caught him with nasty underwear. I don't play around like his mom and dad either. I rarely spank him but when I do I mean business. As soon as I spanked him he quit leaving crap stains in his underwear.

FNW · Guru

Interesting, NJN. Glad it worked!

Ilumine · Regular

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I've never said this publicly before. Only in pm's. But nine year old SS had the not wiping his butt issue. It got so bad that this summer I tried a million things to make him wipe. Finally I tore his butt up. I mean hard. And I told him that if I caught him not wiping again I'd tear it up every time I caught him with nasty underwear. I don't play around like his mom and dad either. I rarely spank him but when I do I mean business. As soon as I spanked him he quit leaving crap stains in his underwear.

I would have made him hand wash his underwear.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I know. It sounds mean. I probably sound like a horrible parent. But we had talked about it a million times. We had made him do time out. We told him he was going to have to do his own laundry. He didn't care. And his mom never spanks. Ever. She believes in talking and second, and third and fourth and fifth, chances. His dad spanks when necessary but it is not hard and doesn't upset SS because he knows it's barely a swat. Look, if you're going to spank, which I rarely do, it has to mean something. My SS has told both me and his dad that he doesn't like getting into trouble because he knows I'LL carry through with the punishment.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Ilumine wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I've never said this publicly before. Only in pm's. But nine year old SS had the not wiping his butt issue. It got so bad that this summer I tried a million things to make him wipe. Finally I tore his butt up. I mean hard. And I told him that if I caught him not wiping again I'd tear it up every time I caught him with nasty underwear. I don't play around like his mom and dad either. I rarely spank him but when I do I mean business. As soon as I spanked him he quit leaving crap stains in his underwear.
I would have made him hand wash his underwear.

I told both dad and his mom I was going to do this. DH said do whatever I needed to do. His mom went ape sh!t crazy and told me her precious little boy would NOT be doing laundry and if she got wind of him doing laundry she would be pissed.

I got really tired of washing and handling crappy underwear.

FNW · Guru

What I probably would have done was act concerned about his inability to control himself and tell him if it continued he'll have to wear a diaper. To school.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

FNW wrote:
What I probably would have done was act concerned about his inability to control himself and tell him if it continued he'll have to wear a diaper. To school.

Oh, we tried that. We even threatened to get diapers and put them on him. We threatened to come up to his school and go to the bathroom with him and make sure he wiped his butt in front of all his friends. He said he didn't care.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

I really don't know how you deal with that woman NJN, every time I think I have it bad with bf's ex I think of yours!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

It's challenging at times. She's gotten better. She's not a bad person per se. Just totally apathetic.

FNW · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
FNW wrote:
What I probably would have done was act concerned about his inability to control himself and tell him if it continued he'll have to wear a diaper. To school.
Oh, we tried that. We even threatened to get diapers and put them on him. We threatened to come up to his school and go to the bathroom with him and make sure he wiped his butt in front of all his friends. He said he didn't care.

Then you were left with no choice but to spank. There are times when that's the only thing that works for me as well.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I still helped DD with her hair till she was 11. It's super thick and long. She would have a hard time getting all the shampoo rinsed out.

Domestic Engineer · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
Ilumine wrote:

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.
I knew a woman whose 6 y.o. DD had repeated / continuous bladder and kidney infections from e.coli.
I told her to (1) make sure her DD had time to poop every morning before school, and (2) washed herself there in the shower afterward, using a hand-held shower head and friction, to make sure everything came off. Other wise, she would lose the rest of her kidney function. (She was down to 50% of one kidney and 30% of the other.)
If you do get a hand-held shower head, make sure it's positioned low enough that the child can reach it when it's in the holder, and make sure the child knows exactly what to do with it.

I can assure you a little girl will know exactly what to do with a hand held shower. wink

JPT · Senior Member

Southern_Belle wrote:
I still helped DD with her hair till she was 11. It's super thick and long. She would have a hard time getting all the shampoo rinsed out.

I had/still have thick hair. My mother decided it wasn't worth the effort, and cut it off short, and kept it that way. I didn't have long hair till I was an adult. And then I discovered what she knew all along, it is too thick and straight to do anything nice with it.

I ended up cutting it short again, and it has been that way every since!

ed11563 · Guru

Domestic Engineer wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Ilumine wrote:

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.
I knew a woman whose 6 y.o. DD had repeated / continuous bladder and kidney infections from e.coli.
I told her to (1) make sure her DD had time to poop every morning before school, and (2) washed herself there in the shower afterward, using a hand-held shower head and friction, to make sure everything came off. Other wise, she would lose the rest of her kidney function. (She was down to 50% of one kidney and 30% of the other.)
If you do get a hand-held shower head, make sure it's positioned low enough that the child can reach it when it's in the holder, and make sure the child knows exactly what to do with it.

I can assure you a little girl will know exactly what to do with a hand held shower.

smile

Ilumine · Regular

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Ilumine wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I've never said this publicly before. Only in pm's. But nine year old SS had the not wiping his butt issue. It got so bad that this summer I tried a million things to make him wipe. Finally I tore his butt up. I mean hard. And I told him that if I caught him not wiping again I'd tear it up every time I caught him with nasty underwear. I don't play around like his mom and dad either. I rarely spank him but when I do I mean business. As soon as I spanked him he quit leaving crap stains in his underwear.
I would have made him hand wash his underwear.

I told both dad and his mom I was going to do this. DH said do whatever I needed to do. His mom went ape sh!t crazy and told me her precious little boy would NOT be doing laundry and if she got wind of him doing laundry she would be pissed.
I got really tired of washing and handling crappy underwear.

SO what? What exactly would or more importantly COULD she do about the Biological Father enforcing reasonable rules in his house during his time? No child died doing his/her own laundry.

As for you doing the laundry, if your DH couldn't stand up to BM or SS then cleaning his son's crap filled clothes was then on him.

Look, when SS came to live with us, he would literally only change his underwear when he showered and he only showered every 3rd to 4th day. DH's attitude was to let normal consequences force him to shower more. Hey, whatever floated his boat. But that did not mean that I had to handle his nasty ass clothes with my hands. So DH had to either do SS's clothes or make his 13 yo son do his own laundry.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

JPT wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:
I still helped DD with her hair till she was 11. It's super thick and long. She would have a hard time getting all the shampoo rinsed out.

I had/still have thick hair. My mother decided it wasn't worth the effort, and cut it off short, and kept it that way. I didn't have long hair till I was an adult. And then I discovered what she knew all along, it is too thick and straight to do anything nice with it.

I ended up cutting it short again, and it has been that way every since!

She had long fine hair until she got close to puberty and then it went nuts. It's still thick but not as much as when she was in those preteen years.

JPT · Senior Member

Domestic Engineer wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Ilumine wrote:

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.
I knew a woman whose 6 y.o. DD had repeated / continuous bladder and kidney infections from e.coli.
I told her to (1) make sure her DD had time to poop every morning before school, and (2) washed herself there in the shower afterward, using a hand-held shower head and friction, to make sure everything came off. Other wise, she would lose the rest of her kidney function. (She was down to 50% of one kidney and 30% of the other.)
If you do get a hand-held shower head, make sure it's positioned low enough that the child can reach it when it's in the holder, and make sure the child knows exactly what to do with it.

I can assure you a little girl will know exactly what to do with a hand held shower.

Oh, yeah! biggrin

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

JPT wrote:
Domestic Engineer wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Ilumine wrote:

Its the same thing with her wiping her buttocks. She is 90% there, but I check on her once or twice a week to make sure she is keep up with the poop removal.
I knew a woman whose 6 y.o. DD had repeated / continuous bladder and kidney infections from e.coli.
I told her to (1) make sure her DD had time to poop every morning before school, and (2) washed herself there in the shower afterward, using a hand-held shower head and friction, to make sure everything came off. Other wise, she would lose the rest of her kidney function. (She was down to 50% of one kidney and 30% of the other.)
If you do get a hand-held shower head, make sure it's positioned low enough that the child can reach it when it's in the holder, and make sure the child knows exactly what to do with it.

I can assure you a little girl will know exactly what to do with a hand held shower.
Oh, yeah!

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Well I let DD bathe alone at 5 and she almost died. Seriously.

This is the extra energetic, work hard, play hard DD. One day she went to take a bath and I noticed she was super quiet in there (usually I could hear her splashing, singing etc). I went in to check on her and she was asleep with her nose about 1 cm from the water. Her head was sagging, and she was almost slipping under the water. I screamed in shock and woke her up. She was startled, but didn't understand what the big deal was.

I think I sat on the toilet (lid down) and chatted with her while she took a bath until she was 12!

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Honey is 9-1/2 and she's getting a bath when I get home.

Just sayin'...

biggrin

Sin City Girl · Member

If DS16 gets ring worm one more time I will start bathing him again. I probably stopped around 5.