TOTALLY GEEKED!

ed11563 · Guru

What Do All Babies Need, Yet Aren’t Getting Equally?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Oh bull.

What a load of bull.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well dayum. We are German. We are very blunt. Put on your PJs and go to bed.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

OMG! I HATE those parents. They give me a freaking headache. No wonder kids can't function. They have to be coached with 1000 words. For my bball girls, it is Pass the ball and THEN make a BASKET cut. Pretty simple I think.

aergia · Regular

I would think the girls on your team were largely beyond needing verbal stimuli.

Babies, little kids need to be exposed to words, lots of words. But helpful words. Not what drones on as pop music with very suggestive or dirty lyrics. Lyrics that frequently don't include respectful manners to other people.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think that it is far more important to just be yourself.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

So the only ones talking to their babies are above a certain income level?

Articles like this are nothing but ego strokes for the writer.

ed11563 · Guru

I think this might be a big issue with single-parent families, especially with multiple kids from multiple invisible baby-daddies.

Mom is too busy and too tired to read to or even talk to (or at) the children, and there's no Dad.

My new neighbor was telling me that she was reading the Dr. Seuss books ... all of them ... to her now 7 y.o. son all his life. At this point, of course, he's reading by himself, and has a wider repertoire.

We read Dr. Seuss to the kids also long before they could understand the words (but babies react to tone of voice, which is wonderful), and the time was great together time when they were little. There's no shortage of subjects to discuss when there are age-appropriate books.

And there are no bad emotions between parent and child while reading together.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Sorry. I find that insulting.

I am the single mom of multiple babies, all with the same father, but he wasn't around and my kids were way ahead of the curve.

Speaking fluently with whole sentences and able to hold a conversation by 2 and 3. Able to read and write before kindergarten. They have an extensive vocabulary.

Never did the baby talk with my kids. Taught them to enunciate their words clearly from the get go.

So that big ole brush you are using needs to be put down. Not all or us single moms are too lazy to talk to (or at) our kids.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

By and far studies have shown that kids from single parent homes do worse than kids from dual parent homes. Does that mean 100% of kids from single parent home are stupid? No. But statistically two parent homes are better.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

We aren't big talkers. I do most of my babbling here.

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Sorry. I find that insulting.

I am the single mom of multiple babies, all with the same father, but he wasn't around and my kids were way ahead of the curve.

Speaking fluently with whole sentences and able to hold a conversation by 2 and 3. Able to read and write before kindergarten. They have an extensive vocabulary.

Never did the baby talk with my kids. Taught them to enunciate their words clearly from the get go.

So that big ole brush you are using needs to be put down. Not all or us single moms are too lazy to talk to (or at) our kids.

You did GOOD Lily, you did what the article is advocating. A lot of people don't.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Nothing wrong with baby talk. But I don't think one needs to babble "oh look at the red car! The car is red. It's a car. Some cars are red". Blah blah. I don't talk that way and never did.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

What babies need is someone who truly loves them . The rest of the stuff takes care of itself.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

So glad my single mom and dad raised me and my siblings into productive adults.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
By and far studies have shown that kids from single parent homes do worse than kids from dual parent homes. Does that mean 100% of kids from single parent home are stupid? No. But statistically two parent homes are better.

I have seen all levels of income. Laziness is across the board when it comes to raising kids.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Nothing wrong with baby talk. But I don't think one needs to babble "oh look at the red car! The car is red. It's a car. Some cars are red". Blah blah. I don't talk that way and never did.

I talked to my kids. Engaged them in conversation. Even as newborns I used language.

There are studies showing that a newborn has the vocal ability to speak every language in the world. The sooner you introduce them to speech the sooner they develop mentally and speech skills can be set very early on.

Within the first 6 months a child has lost half the vocal ability.

Speech is important.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Not all parents know how important it is to TALK to babies...sadly.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I just really don't think raising kids has to be a some Giant project. No, I didnt' play Mozart to my womb or recite Shakespeare to my infant when I was rocking them. I talked in ways that seemed natural to me and the way I interact with them. I dont' have a problem with baby words like saying "ba ba" for bottle or whatever. I think it's cute and it was natural. I didn't run flash cards thru my kids faces at every opportunities. I dont' buy into "educational" toys. I think toys are supposed to be fun and if you leave kids to play they will actually use their own imaginations so I didn't need Leap Frog or whatever overpriced thing is parading as some great "educational" toy. No, they didn't watch Sesame Street because I don't like Sesame Street so too bad.
I hugged, rocked and snuggled. Sometimes I talked, sometimes I didn't. I don't think I needed to keep a log of how many words I used.

And, personally TOO many words are problem as well. Part of my job on the School Board is to interview and hire teachers. We have interviewed some elementary teachers and we go thru a series of questions. Some of them babble on and on and never actually even get to the point of answering the question. We usually don't hire them. They are too confusing. Kids need clear, straight forward directions, they don't need someone who is talking at them in circles.

Now,if you are naturally an extrovert and talker, then that is fantastic. YOu should absolutely be who you are. But, we are introverts and sorry, I am getting tired of being told that introverts and our way of being is somehow "less than".

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I didn't do all that either Gaga.

I used every day situations to talk with the kids.

I did find that later, when they were a bit older and stated asking how many, I started simple math.

It was one of the games we did in the car. I would start with two numbers, 1+2=3, 3+3=6, 6+6= and we would go as far as the kids could go.

Later when they started multiplication we used that.

I am not saying a person has to talk their head off with their kid.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

This is not news. Studies have shown this for years. My moms old baby raising books she gave to my sister talk about this, and there were signs plastered all over my doctor's office with variations of 'talk to your baby' or 'read to your baby'.
And yes, studies over the years have shown that lower income families expose their children to fewer words throughout the day.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I have no idea what low income has to do with it, but the more you talk to babies, the better and faster they learn.

Lindley · Guru

I agree to a point, babies need to be cuddled, loved, kissed, snuggled and talk to. I do believe they need to be read to also. I loved talking to my babies. I would coo and talk to them and it was so cute watching them try and talk back too. I also don't think you have to explain every little detail of things. Yes explain why we don't run into the street for a example but then also they sometimes just need to know that when mom or dad says no they mean no and no need to explain why.

I think it is important to play with your child but to also allow them to play on their own so they can learn independence and imagination. We were poor when our kids were little since we were just starting our business but kids can thrive even when their family is poor. The depression produced the greatest generation so I don't think you have to have a lot of money to be good parents.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
I have no idea what low income has to do with it, but the more you talk to babies, the better and faster they learn.

I would guess that some people in lower income groups don't value education.

Many libraries present programs for teen moms focusing on the importance of READING and TALKING to babies. Some of them just don't know...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lower income does not equal doesn't care about education.

Tinydancer · Guru

For a lot of lower income people they are low income because they didn't value education. I don't see where anyone said it was all low income people.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And I didn't say all people.

I said low income does not equal doesn't care about education.

Empyreal · Senior Member

I love talking to my babies. I didn't realize that some people don't? That sounds hard to do.

Every morning when I'd go in and get my little girl in her crib I would say "Hello, my name is mama. I will be your server today, can I get you started with something to drink? Milk perhaps?" She was so cute.. She would give me the same smile every time.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lower income does not equal doesn't care about education.

Except when it does.

flan

Lindley · Guru

Empyreal wrote:
I love talking to my babies. I didn't realize that some people don't? That sounds hard to do.

Every morning when I'd go in and get my little girl in her crib I would say "Hello, my name is mama. I will be your server today, can I get you started with something to drink? Milk perhaps?" She was so cute.. She would give me the same smile every time.

That is so cute!

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lower income does not equal doesn't care about education.

Except when it does.
flan

and you get all in a snit when others stereotype! So you are saying that lower income people are less intelligent and care less about education than middle to high income people? I'll agree with you. Most low income people I know really are quite stupid...

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I can't believe people wonder what income has to do with things. First, I don't think ALL low income households are like this. To say it's 100% is false. However, study after study after study has shown that income does have a lot to do with it. Go into a "wealthy" home. You will see things like shelves and shelves and shelves of books of all kinds. I'll also wager a bet that you will often find musical instruments. And a variety of music. If you don't have the money to put food on the table then you're definitely not going to buy your child a book. Sorry if that bothers people but it's true. If you have to make the decision between a book and food I think that's pretty basic. And if you're working two full time jobs trying to pay bills you MIGHT talk to your kids but certainly not in the way/form that most would. There's a difference between, "Get in bed." and TALKING to your child. There's a difference between "Eat your dinner." and reading a book. And if you're working two full time jobs you're probably not going to have the extra time to run by the library and check out a couple of books. Sorry, that's life. It doesn't mean that all low income parents are horrible parents. Or that they don't care or don't love their kids. But statistics bear out time and again there is a huge difference in how low income single parent homes function and how upper income two parent homes function.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't know. I managed to get books. I managed to get instruments. I managed to get educational material. I managed to talk with my kids.

I worked second and third most of their younger years and my kids still went into kindergarten knowing a lot more than most of the two parent, higher income homes.

Oh well. Guess I will just be thankful my kids and I don't fall into some statistic grave yard.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I babysat a doctor's kid. He saw his parents maybe twice in the week. The rest of the time he was in some play group or class or something.

Yeah. Guess he was so much better off.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lily, you can whine and cry all you want but the truth is the statistics show what they do. I have said over and over and over, and you don't seem to want to hear what I am saying, that there are exceptions to every rule. The statistics don't say EVERY poor child. Or EVERY rich child. Sheesh.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

There are those here saying it.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I'm not them. Do not lump me in with them.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I'm not them. Do not lump me in with them.

I didn't say everyone. I said there are those...

See how that broad brush tends to smack everyone?

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Monday 27th of October 2014 06:48:52 PM

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I'm not them. Do not lump me in with them.
I didn't say everyone. I said there are those...

See how that broad brush tends to smack everyone?

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Monday 27th of October 2014 06:48:52 PM

I have never once said all...

Tinydancer · Guru

I went back to read the thread again and I still don't see where anybody said ALL low income people don't value education. It's also shown time after time and study after study that the best way out of poverty is to get an education. Deny it if you'd like but it's true none the less.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't know. Is it really that hard? How about just LOVE your kids and do your best? How about the Kids will be alright if they just know that mom and dad have their back, whether mom is reading them the dictionary or going to work earning a living. Going to work actually sends a positive message to your kid to ya know. It says, Working and earning a living is important, therefore mommy has to leave for awhile to earn money for our family. ".

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
I went back to read the thread again and I still don't see where anybody said ALL low income people don't value education. It's also shown time after time and study after study that the best way out of poverty is to get an education. Deny it if you'd like but it's true none the less.

Because NO ONE said it.

I worked for 10 years in the inner-city & I am basing my observations on what I encountered.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't disagree. But, handing people more money does diddly squat. People who make the EFFORT in life are the ones who succeed whether they have money or means or not. YOu can make the EFFORT with your kids. We have free libraries, the internet is everywhere and books out the Wazzo. So, income is another one of the many excuses for people who simply choose to lack effort, sweat, perseverance and dedication.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I think it's quite a generalization to just say low income people don't care about education. Many do. They want their children to do better. I understand that some low income people are not well educated or smart. But the ability to TALK to your child has nothing to do with income.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's quite a generalization to just say low income people don't care about education. Many do. They want their children to do better. I understand that some low income people are not well educated or smart. But the ability to TALK to your child has nothing to do with income.

Of course not, but a parent has to understand the importance of talking to a baby.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's quite a generalization to just say low income people don't care about education. Many do. They want their children to do better. I understand that some low income people are not well educated or smart. But the ability to TALK to your child has nothing to do with income.

Then why does study after study show that children from lower income families do not grasp language as well? I also don't think that they don't care about education as much as they can't afford it or don't have the time to get it. It can be done but it could be overwhelming to a lot of people.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Tinydancer wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's quite a generalization to just say low income people don't care about education. Many do. They want their children to do better. I understand that some low income people are not well educated or smart. But the ability to TALK to your child has nothing to do with income.
Then why does study after study show that children from lower income families do not grasp language as well? I also don't think that they don't care about education as much as they can't afford it or don't have the time to get it. It can be done but it could be overwhelming to a lot of people.

Because their language is not as good to begin with? Their vocabulary is not as advanced? But to say they don't care or don't talk to their children as much is not the same as not being able to talk to them WELL.