TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Terminally ill woman who intends to end her life posts new video about her condition

Vette · Owl drink to that!

She just wants her fifteen minutes of fame

-- Edited by VetteGirl on Friday 31st of October 2014 09:39:23 AM

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

It's getting a bit to close and to real for her.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

VetteGirl wrote:
She just wants her fifteen minutes of fame

-- Edited by VetteGirl on Friday 31st of October 2014 09:39:23 AM

Really? I think being given a death sentence at 29 would be a bitter pill to swallow.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

just Czech wrote:
It's getting a bit to close and to real for her.

Well, that is a point I have made. We can all make certain pronouncements about what we WILL do. Until that time comes. Then everything in life isn't so black and white.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
just Czech wrote:
It's getting a bit to close and to real for her.
Well, that is a point I have made. We can all make certain pronouncements about what we WILL do. Until that time comes. Then everything in life isn't so black and white.

It's called a reality check.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I would say she is facing reality much earlier than most. I can't criticize her for that. She is a young woman. She wants to beat cancer before it beats her. For her, it feels like a sprint to that closing door. It's sad either way.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

VetteGirl wrote:
She just wants her fifteen minutes of fame

-- Edited by VetteGirl on Friday 31st of October 2014 09:39:23 AM

I can't watch the clip at work, but I saw her interviewed last week. She is sincere and is hoping that her experience may help others.

I cannot even imagine what she's going through.

flan

Lindley · Guru

My heart goes out to her. She is scared of what this cancer will do to her and not wanting to go threw the agony that the dr.'s predicted she will go threw. She said she is not suicidal but does not want to put herself and her family threw that. Of course now that she is still able to enjoy life still she wants to put off the time, and I don't blame her.

To me she is showing a great desire to live and not wanting to miss what good days she may have left.

JPT · Senior Member

Were that me, I would want the comfort and knowledge that I had control at the end. Having watched people I loved die of cancer, it's an awful way to go (and two of my family members died young, before the term and service of "hospice".
I'm glad that she has the option to slip away peacefully, sparing her and her family the agony of the final days most cancer patients suffer.

Blankie · Guru

My sister died of this same brain cancer, glioblastoma multiforma, at age 41. I absolutely understand this woman's reasoning.

It's cancer, not a tumor. Inoperable. It's like tentacles that wrap themselves all over the brain. In my sister's case all they could do was radiation, and she had the best of the best medical team.

She lost her ability to speak within 2 months of her diagnosis. Four months after diagnosis, she was semi-comatose.They gave her 6 months life expectancy, she lived nine months with radiation early on, steroids, and hospice the whole time at home. She moaned a lot with pain. It was heartbreaking not being able to know how much pain she was in, because she couldn't tell us. All we could do was trust hospice staff to read her signals and up the dose accordingly.

Brain cancer is different in that the ability to make choices can go away suddenly. Once she can't communicate, she loses her autonomy completely. I don't judge this woman for wanting to get ahead of it.

I hope she has hospice at home if she delays her decision to end her life. Actually, I hope she has hospice at home now.They are wise and compassionate about pain and palliative care.

Also, I think she would be very wise to write down her wishes in a detailed letter to her health care proxy and her physician - NOW. If she chooses to keep living, then loses her autonomy, she will have no choice in her care. I'm thinking that's what might happen in this case. She may not take her life, but she needs to let them know how she wants to be cared for (what kinds of treatment? hospice at home? do not resuscitate order?)

She looks remarkably healthy in the video, but I think it's deceiving. She could be one seizure away from a big loss of functioning.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

She might plan to end her life at her own hands but it isn't that simple. If she wakes up tomorrow and is still capable of ending her life at her own hands, then here heart and mind are going to also be telling that today she is still capable of functioning and that maybe she has yet another day to spend some precious moments with her family. And, most likely that is what will happen until that day comes and she deteriorates rapidly and is then in a condition where she cannot end her life, even if she would choose to because she no longer has the physical or mental capability to accomplish that. And, as Blankie said, I hope that she has POA and Advanced Directives that clearly spell out her wishes regarding medial treatments and that hospice is quickly called in. Hospice does an amazing job.

Blankie · Guru

Glioblastoma multiforme is not a cancer that you beat. It's not survivable. Maybe 12 months, but it's almost unheard of for patients to last a few years.

My sister was very strong physically, and she lasted only 9 months. I almost can't believe this woman was diagnosed in January and can still stand up.

I wish her peace. And mercy. And deafness to the words of those who haven't walked in her shoes but will still pre-judge her without real knowledge of her situation.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Blankie wrote:
Glioblastoma multiforme is not a cancer that you beat. It's not survivable. Maybe 12 months, but it's almost unheard of for patients to last a few years.
My sister was very strong physically, and she lasted only 9 months. I almost can't believe this woman was diagnosed in January and can still stand up.
I wish her peace. And mercy. And deafness to the words of those who haven't walked in her shoes but will still pre-judge her without real knowledge of her situation.

I am so very sorry that your sister had such a terrible disease.

And thank you for your compassionate words.

flan

JPT · Senior Member

Blankie, I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for shedding light on this form of cancer...truly devastating to the patient and their loved ones.

Blankie · Guru

Thanks, flan and JPT.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Wow Blankie, I did not know. And I am sorry for you and your sister's pain. I for one, have no issue with someone wanting to end their life before their terminal disease turns into a pain nightmare. I can't even imagine going through it.

Lindley · Guru

I'm so sorry blankie:(

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I watched my pawpaw wither away and die in about a months time.

But I watched him so with grace. He was so much pain. And the meds they gave him made him combative and then sleep. But when he was coherent, even in all that pain, he was thankful to be alive. He didn't waste those last few weeks. He made sure he told everyone he loved how he felt about them. He was warm and as friendly as he could be under the circumstances.

He suffered. But he would not think about leaving sooner.

I know not everyone is the same. Some are stronger than others. But I cant see ending your life as long as you have life.

Squeakers · Regular

There is nothing weak about ending your life before a terminal disease robs you of your dignity and you implying that Lily, is disgusting.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know what a terminal illness looks like. it's very vivid in my mind. I watched my pawpaw go from working and playing and living a full life to dead in less than 2 months.

Some are stronger than others. That is what I said.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what a terminal illness looks like. it's very vivid in my mind. I watched my pawpaw go from working and playing and living a full life to dead in less than 2 months.

Some are stronger than others. That is what I said.

But did he have excruciating pain? and did you feel that pain? Huge difference between knowing you will be having pain so bad you want to die and just withering away.

Squeakers · Regular

You are not the only person who had someone close to them die of a terminal illness. My grandfather wanted to end his life but was too weak to hold a gun. He is still the strongest man I know. It takes a very brave person to accept and embrace death

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I am not discounting others and what they are going through. I am giving my experience as food for thought.

I have always thought that suicide is weak. The reason doesn't matter.

I can relate my story just like others can relate theirs.

If it bothers you, don't read it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what a terminal illness looks like. it's very vivid in my mind. I watched my pawpaw go from working and playing and living a full life to dead in less than 2 months.

Some are stronger than others. That is what I said.

But did he have excruciating pain? and did you feel that pain? Huge difference between knowing you will be having pain so bad you want to die and just withering away.

Yes. He was doubled over in pain. His cancer was eating him inside out. There wasn't a bone, organ, muscle or tissue that was not eat up with cancer. They would give him the strongest pains they could give and a ton of psychotics trying to keep his pain from driving him insane. It didn't really work.

I saw the pain he was in. It wasn't a simple headache.

Squeakers · Regular

lilyofcourse wrote:
I am not discounting others and what they are going through. I am giving my experience as food for thought.

I have always thought that suicide is weak. The reason doesn't matter.

I can relate my story just like others can relate theirs.

If it bothers you, don't read it.

You are not. You are diminishing other people while "sharing your experience".

Squeakers · Regular

I saw my grandfather wither away from a proud, strong man to someone who whimpered when he was carried to the bathroom, both from shame and pain. I would not put a dog through that. It is sick we put humans through that. It is disgusting that we call people weak for deciding they are not going to go through that.

If your dog was in pain, you would take him to a vet. If there was nothing that could be done, you would end his life with a needle stick. We treat animals with more compassion at their end of life then we do humans. That is backwards.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what a terminal illness looks like. it's very vivid in my mind. I watched my pawpaw go from working and playing and living a full life to dead in less than 2 months.

Some are stronger than others. That is what I said.

But did he have excruciating pain? and did you feel that pain? Huge difference between knowing you will be having pain so bad you want to die and just withering away.
Yes. He was doubled over in pain. His cancer was eating him inside out. There wasn't a bone, organ, muscle or tissue that was not eat up with cancer. They would give him the strongest pains they could give and a ton of psychotics trying to keep his pain from driving him insane. It didn't really work.
I saw the pain he was in. It wasn't a simple headache.

Deleted my message, too mean.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

So basically my pawpaw choosing to fight and live as long as he could isn't as valid as someone who chooses to quit?

OK.

Whatever.

I didn't dismiss anything or anyone.

This is MY feelings on the matter. It doesn't jive with yours.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Just a thought. Perhaps our suffering simply isn't about us? Perhaps there is a bigger picture? Perhaps it allows a glimpse of the frailty of our human condition when we are the ones who are feeling well and going about living life. Perhaps it teaches us to pause, to reflect and the stop what we are doing and to give of ourselves to help our loved one in that process. Perhaps there are deep precious moments even in the midst of all that suffering that are lost by ending your own life?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Just a thought. Perhaps our suffering simply isn't about us? Perhaps there is a bigger picture? Perhaps it allows a glimpse of the frailty of our human condition when we are the ones who are feeling well and going about living life. Perhaps it teaches us to pause, to reflect and the stop what we are doing and to give of ourselves to help our loved one in that process. Perhaps there are deep precious moments even in the midst of all that suffering that are lost by ending your own life?

Good thought, but turn it around. Perhaps those that are and still will be after we pass need to understand that those suffering want that suffering to end now and that those still here may not want that so they can continue holding that hand but that hand wants to exit without any more pain.

Squeakers · Regular

It's selfish to want someone to stick around even though they are in agony so you can squeeze another day out of them.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Agreed!

huskerbb · Guru

Squeakers wrote:
I saw my grandfather wither away from a proud, strong man to someone who whimpered when he was carried to the bathroom, both from shame and pain. I would not put a dog through that. It is sick we put humans through that. It is disgusting that we call people weak for deciding they are not going to go through that.

If your dog was in pain, you would take him to a vet. If there was nothing that could be done, you would end his life with a needle stick. We treat animals with more compassion at their end of life then we do humans. That is backwards.

Humans are not dogs. It's a nonsense comparison.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Well why should we be humane to animals and not other humans?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Squeakers wrote:
It's selfish to want someone to stick around even though they are in agony so you can squeeze another day out of them.

Really? You are going to toss out the "selfish" thing if someone has a different opinion? Ok, maybe you just want someone to hurry up and die because you selfishly don't want to sit by their bedside and hold their hand when Breaking Bad is on. Sheesh. evileye

huskerbb · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
Well why should we be humane to animals and not other humans?

Because an animal is PROPERTY--therefore, the owner can decide when that "time" comes.

Humans are not property. I don't think anyone should be able to decide for someone else when that time is--unless there are extreme circumstances which make the person wholly unable.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I don't want to decide for someone else. I think they should be able to have advanced directives, just like a DNR.

huskerbb · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
I don't want to decide for someone else. I think they should be able to have advanced directives, just like a DNR.

But we can't "feel" for them.

Ok, so they have some directive that states "if they are in extreme pain"--well, how can we possibly judge that for someone else?

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

If I am laying there screaming and writhing in pain even after being medicated then end my misery.

huskerbb · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
If I am laying there screaming and writhing in pain even after being medicated then end my misery.

But that's subjective.

Plus, are you saying that if you fall and break your knee and are screaming and writhing in pain--someone should shoot you like a lame horse?

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

LOL! Well I wouldn't have an advance directive unless I was terminal. Even if I did that's just common sense.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think everyone should have Advanced Directives.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Advanced directives only come into play if you are unable to communicate your wishes. If you are conscious and screaming in pain, you have the ability to express your wishes.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Advanced directives only come into play if you are unable to communicate your wishes. If you are conscious and screaming in pain, you have the ability to express your wishes.

This is true. But when I sprained my ankle and it swelled up twice the size of normal the doctor listened to DH about giving me medicine to "knock me out" so he wouldn't have to listen to me. He was kidding. The doctor OTOH gave DH exactly what he wanted.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Advanced directives only come into play if you are unable to communicate your wishes. If you are conscious and screaming in pain, you have the ability to express your wishes.

As a lawyer i would think u would recommend people get that in place. Illness often comes upon someone like a thief in the night. So either make sure its in place or leave it up to your family.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Southern_Belle wrote:
Well why should we be humane to animals and not other humans?

If you ever figure that out, let me know please?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Squeakers wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I am not discounting others and what they are going through. I am giving my experience as food for thought.

I have always thought that suicide is weak. The reason doesn't matter.

I can relate my story just like others can relate theirs.

If it bothers you, don't read it.

You are not. You are diminishing other people while "sharing your experience".

You're sitting in judgment, just like you always do...

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Aren't you judging her by making the judgment that she is sitting in judgment; In which your tone is implying that one shouldn't sit in judgment?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Aren't you judging her by making the judgment that she is sitting in judgment; In which your tone is implying that one shouldn't sit in judgment?

Oh, you brat! LOL

flan