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Post Info TOPIC: No One Dies: They Just Pass


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No One Dies: They Just Pass
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No One Dies: They Just Pass

We avoid using the word 'death' as a way of reducing anxiety by avoiding reality  

The last words attributed to John Barrymore were, “Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.”

Of course, no one can prevent the inevitable. When I was a child, a common nighttime prayer was: “Now I lay me down to sleep/I pray the Lord my soul to keep/If I shall die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

Many parents today would blanch to hear their children utter such a prayer. More like Barrymore, we seldom say that someone has died or talk about death directly.

The common phrase today is a variation of “pass,” as in “She has passed,” or “He has passed on.”

Bereavement notices sent from my university, a secular institution, use this locution. Notices never use the word “death.” A person has passed on.

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Saying that someone has died is nearly a taboo phrase.

Euphemisms often surround death in the modern world, where there is a belief that modern medicine can or at least ought to extend lives indefinitely. Once death was always nearby. Many children never made it past infancy and few people made it beyond their forties. Until the 19th century, bodies were buried in graveyards next to church grounds. When burial grounds were moved to the suburbs, they were relabeled as cemeteries, literally, sleeping places.

For those who believe in an afterlife, it makes sense to speak of ‘passing.’  The body has passed from one form to another, from one location to another. But ‘passed’ doesn’t necessarily imply a theological position. You can pass from existing to non-existence.

‘Passed’ has primary come into common use not because of a thought out theological or philosophical position but because we try to protect ourselves from the cold facts of death, the not being the person that we once knew, the sentient creature that constitutes what it is to be a human being.

Euphemisms soften the hard blows of reality and people are entitled to their comforts. But there is also something to be said for looking things straight in the eye.

My own preference is to call things as they are. When my cat suffered from terminal cancer, my family chose to end her life. She wasn’t put to sleep. We took the responsibility of ending her life. We killed her as an act of mercy.

Our society tries to hide from the inevitability of death—just think of the money spent on medical bills the last month of person's life. I think it would be better if we accepted reality for what it is. However, having said that, I can also imagine in a culture in which death was so readily accepted that life itself can be too easily diminished as a value in and of itself.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-right/201411/no-one-dies-they-just-pass



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It depends very much on your belief system.

Passing is not a euphemism to me at all. It is the exact right term, according to what I believe.

I believe the body dies, but the spirit passes on to another place.

And since it's the spirit that matters, that's the thing that needs to be described. Not the body dying.

Of course, that is just what I believe.

There are bound to be many different descriptors of "death", because there are so many different beliefs.

I don't think there is any one right word for it that will suit everyone.

Viva la difference!



-- Edited by Blankie on Saturday 15th of November 2014 09:21:31 AM

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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Your body does not have a soul - your soul has a body. The body dies, the soul does not.

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We avoid using the word 'death' as a way of reducing anxiety by avoiding reality

------------------

Years ago, I attened a church where the minister was also a professional grief counselor. He said that the words "death and "dead" had to be heard X amount of times before the reality of the person being gone is accepted and healing can begin.

The families that said "passed away", "departed", "asleep" and other terms had a much more difficult time accepting, grieving and moving forward.

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"When I was a child, a common nighttime prayer was: “Now I lay me down to sleep/I pray the Lord my soul to keep/If I shall die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take.”"

 

When I was little, the death rate for infants and children was dropping. When my parents were children, about half of the babies born alive would die before becoming adults.

So this prayer was appropriate.

 

 

 



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I think people use whatever term they use. I don't think about it.

When pawpaw died the phone call I got to inform me said he was gone.

When I called my cousin to tell him all I could get out was "it's over".

People use what ever they feel like will be best at that moment. Or whatever they can get out of their mouth at the time.



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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Really - whose job it is to tell us the problem way to feel about death and the language to describe it?

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Good point!

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Lily has an excellent point and I believe she is spot on for this. Everyone must use the term(s) they are comfortable with at the time this happens. It is difficult enough without worrying about the "correct" wording.

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