TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Prudie: Ex Abandoning One of Our Three Kids

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

What a jerk. He sounds selfish.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

How awful. How do you stop loving a kid just like that?

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Some chick is probably telling him he doesn't have to see her since she isn't his biologically.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

He adopted her though. So when you adopt someone you agree to be responsible for them. It's just nasty that the adoption part of it means nothing for him.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

Maybe but since he still has visitation with the other two what's the point? She still has to share him with his kids.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

He's paying child support on here but just doesn't want to see her? He sounds like a tool. His other kids will take note one day.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

She should go to court and ask to the court to force him into counseling. In the mean time, she should ask his family if they would like to see Jamie on the w/es the other kids are with the jerk.

Lindley · Guru

He does sound like a big jerk. He is dumping the poor little girl to be vindictive to her mother. What better way to hurt a woman then to hurt her child.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

When you adopt a child, you are making that child yours. Do different from any biological child.

Dude needs to get his head on straight.

And I agree, there is a bird in his ear.

ladyloonatic · Regular

I agree that he is a jerk, but I disagree with Prudie on how she should deal with it. The more of a thing mom makes of it, the more of an impact it will have on the daughter and the relationship between siblings. I like the idea of seeing if his parents want to make it their time with her, or mom can make it "our special time."

I don't know how to explain the jerks behavior to the daughter, but maybe something like "he doesn't know how to entertain a tween-age girl", or something like that.

Or, maybe some form of the truth, "he's doing it to hurt me."

ladyloonatic · Regular

On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

But it doesn't say that they have only boys. If they have a girl together she can't very well say, "Oh he doesn't know how to entertain a girl..." I would do what IKWTDS suggests. If his family is so supportive of her she could just sit down with them and ask them to take the girl on those weekends. If they can't take her every time she could do mom and daughter stuff. Usually fathers take the kids every other weekend so, assuming that's what he has, maybe she could make one w/e a month a special time for her and her daughter and one w/e a month she can spend time with the dad's family. Either way he's a tool.

ladyloonatic · Regular

True, either way he's a tool. And I did agree that if his family would want to take her on those weekends, that could be a good solution.

With respect to the "entertaining a girl," younger girls are easier to entertain than tweens, I think. Younger kids are generally happy just being with the parent. Older ones tend to have their own interests, and aren't as thrilled tagging along with the parent.

ed11563 · Guru

ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.

This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.

wild_blue · Newbie

ladyloonatic wrote:
True, either way he's a tool. And I did agree that if his family would want to take her on those weekends, that could be a good solution.

With respect to the "entertaining a girl," younger girls are easier to entertain than tweens, I think. Younger kids are generally happy just being with the parent. Older ones tend to have their own interests, and aren't as thrilled tagging along with the parent.

He's going to have that issue with his own biological children as well though. Will he just dump them too?

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

ed11563 wrote:
ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.
This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.

If this is the reason they divorced, I sure as h*ll hope that the mother wouldn't be pushing him to spend time with this child. Mom would have to have a screw loose!

ed11563 · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.
This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.
If this is the reason they divorced, I sure as h*ll hope that the mother wouldn't be pushing him to spend time with this child. Mom would have to have a screw loose!

He could be drawn to little girls, and the wife just know that he's not very interested in her without knowing why.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

ed11563 wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.
This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.
If this is the reason they divorced, I sure as h*ll hope that the mother wouldn't be pushing him to spend time with this child. Mom would have to have a screw loose!
He could be drawn to little girls, and the wife just know that he's not very interested in her without knowing why.

Nowhere was there any inkling that he was a pedophile.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.
This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.
If this is the reason they divorced, I sure as h*ll hope that the mother wouldn't be pushing him to spend time with this child. Mom would have to have a screw loose!
He could be drawn to little girls, and the wife just know that he's not very interested in her without knowing why.

Nowhere was there any inkling that he was a pedophile.

No, there was not. And really would he be a pedophile if he became interested only after she developed. Don't pedophiles prefer per-pubescent children?

ed11563 · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.
This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.
If this is the reason they divorced, I sure as h*ll hope that the mother wouldn't be pushing him to spend time with this child. Mom would have to have a screw loose!
He could be drawn to little girls, and the wife just know that he's not very interested in her without knowing why.

Nowhere was there any inkling that he was a pedophile.
No, there was not. And really would he be a pedophile if he became interested only after she developed. Don't pedophiles prefer per-pubescent children?

I'm just saying that's a possibility.

wild_blue · Newbie

Lawyerlady wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
ladyloonatic wrote:
On the other hand, if she's 11, she's probably going through puberty, or close to it. Maybe that's an issue for him.

An uglier thought is that, if she is going through puberty and developing, maybe it's best that he not have alone time with her. Sometimes it's best not force issues.
This was my first thought. Are they divorced because he's a pedophile? She's developing, he's feeling urges, and he doesn't want to risk possibly acting on them.
If this is the reason they divorced, I sure as h*ll hope that the mother wouldn't be pushing him to spend time with this child. Mom would have to have a screw loose!
He could be drawn to little girls, and the wife just know that he's not very interested in her without knowing why.

Nowhere was there any inkling that he was a pedophile.
No, there was not. And really would he be a pedophile if he became interested only after she developed. Don't pedophiles prefer per-pubescent children?

Correct. There is a different word for those who prefer adolescents. (It's still gross though)