TOTALLY GEEKED!

James Nichols · Guru

In a depressing reminder of the times in which we live and how far we still have to go to reach equality for everyone in the LGBT community, a Twin Falls, Idaho, transgender woman was presented as male in an open-casket funeral service this week.

Jennifer Gable, 32, reportedly died suddenly of a brain aneurysm while working at Wells Fargo Bank on Oct. 9. At her funeral, Gable, who legally changed her name in 2007, was reportedly not referred to as Jennifer once.

Additionally, the late Gable's family cut her hair short and presented her wearing a suit and her obituary reportedly skipped the decade of her life she spent transitioning to live authentically as Jennifer.

“I am disgusted,” Stacy Dee Hudson reportedly posted on Facebook. “A great and dear friend’s mom went to the funeral today. It was not closed casket. They cut her hair, suit on. How can they bury her as Geoff when she legally changed her name. So very sad. Jen you will be missed and people who know you know that you are at peace.”

Do you or somebody you love identify as transgender? Don't let this happen to you -- register your final wishes with an attorney.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/24/jennifer-gable-transgender_n_6212900.html?cps=gravity Link

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I saw the story.

Really? I hope it bites them in their butts.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

You are really orally focused on gnashing on the badonkadonk. lol

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I honestly don't know how I feel about this. The parents obviously didn't understand or accept the lifestyle change. In their minds they were burying their son. As they say, the funeral is for the living not the dead.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

There could be more to the story. Maybe that is the only way they knew him as Lexxy said. There might be underlying issues. But, I guess it is yet another thing to think about in regards to your final wishes.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Well, if (s)he legally changed her name, what should be on the death certificate? And shouldn't the obituary match?

Although - once you are dead, it doesn't really matter, does it?

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Funerals are for the living, but it sucks that they couldn't accept their child for who they were.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

They can't erase 10 years of their child's life. And for the people who knew and loved Jennifer, it's a slap in the face.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The ones paying for the funeral get to choose.

This was a man. He was born a man. Nothing ever changed that. They buried him as a man.

One thing you cant change is basic genetic facts. And this was a man.

If he wanted something different then he should have made those arrangements before hand.

I have no problem with what his family did.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
The ones paying for the funeral get to choose.

This was a man. He was born a man. Nothing ever changed that. They buried him as a man.

One thing you cant change is basic genetic facts. And this was a man.

If he wanted something different then he should have made those arrangements before hand.

I have no problem with what his family did.

SHE died at 32, so it was unexpected.

I would honor my child's wishes, that is what a parent does.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Doesn't matter. If you want something particular you take care of it. I had arrangements made when I was 28. Why? Because I want MY wishes honored.

And it really doesn't matter what YOU would do. These parents had ever right to do what they did.

Like I said. If you want something specific, you take care of it.

But here is the thing. Once dead, his little charade was over because on the most basic of levels, he is and will always be a man. NOTHING, no amount of legal papers, surgery, makeup, posturing, protesting, NOTHING changes the FACT that he is a MAN.

NAOW · Vette's SS

At the very least they should have used the name Jennifer. It was a legally changed name. It doesn't matter why it was changed.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

NAOW wrote:
At the very least they should have used the name Jennifer. It was a legally changed name. It doesn't matter why it was changed.

No, because they disapproved of their adult child's decision...

It's petty.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

I can't care.

I was just talking to my mom the night before last. My dad wanted a certain funeral home to make his arrangements when he died.

Yeah, that didn't happen. We thought that guy was a tool.

You don't always get what you want.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It isn't petty. It's what the ones paying for it wanted. Their right.

huskerbb · Guru

Penis=man.

A lot of mentally ill people think they are someone they aren't--Napoleon, Jesus Christ, whoever--they aren't buried as such.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Yes, husker, Yes, Lily.

You can type it from now to eternity...

And I will continue to keep an open mind.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't petty. It's what the ones paying for it wanted. Their right.

Their right to disrespect their child in such a major way?

Parenting Fail.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Yes, husker, Yes, Lily.

You can type it from now to eternity...

And I will continue to keep an open mind.

flan

That's not "open-minded". It's foolish.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't petty. It's what the ones paying for it wanted. Their right.
Their right to disrespect their child in such a major way?
Parenting Fail.
flan

The parents are dead. It doesn't say so in this article, but they are.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't petty. It's what the ones paying for it wanted. Their right.
Their right to disrespect their child in such a major way?
Parenting Fail.
flan
The parents are dead. It doesn't say so in this article, but they are.

So who planned the funeral?

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't petty. It's what the ones paying for it wanted. Their right.
Their right to disrespect their child in such a major way?
Parenting Fail.
flan
The parents are dead. It doesn't say so in this article, but they are.
So who planned the funeral?
flan

A brother. I think they were raised by an aunt and uncle.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

I cannot imagine disrespecting my sibling is such a manner. Sickening.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I cannot imagine disrespecting my sibling is such a manner. Sickening.

Because a funeral is intended to honor the person who died.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't petty. It's what the ones paying for it wanted. Their right.
Their right to disrespect their child in such a major way?
Parenting Fail.
flan

Their child disrespected them.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I cant imagine being so ignorant to this a name change and a dress makes a man a woman. It doesn't. It's a man wearing a dress with a different name.

The only disrespecting done was by the man who disrespected himself and his family.

The one paying for the funeral gets to make the decisions.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I cannot imagine disrespecting my sibling is such a manner. Sickening.
Because a funeral is intended to honor the person who died.
flan

No. Funerals are NOT for the dead. They are for the living.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
I cant imagine being so ignorant to this a name change and a dress makes a man a woman. It doesn't. It's a man wearing a dress with a different name.

The only disrespecting done was by the man who disrespected himself and his family.

The one paying for the funeral gets to make the decisions.

You have a right to your opinion.

I have the right to disagree.

Honor the wishes of the person who died.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

Again, mentally fvcked in the head people pretend to be things they are not all the time.

Burying someone in full Napoleonic era military dress because they think they are Napoleon would be just as ridiculous as this.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I cant imagine being so ignorant to this a name change and a dress makes a man a woman. It doesn't. It's a man wearing a dress with a different name.

The only disrespecting done was by the man who disrespected himself and his family.

The one paying for the funeral gets to make the decisions.
You have a right to your opinion.
I have the right to disagree.
Honor the wishes of the person who died.
flan

And this family had every right to do what they did--even if you disagree.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I cannot imagine disrespecting my sibling is such a manner. Sickening.
Because a funeral is intended to honor the person who died.
flan
No. Funerals are NOT for the dead. They are for the living.

Oh, husker, why can't it be BOTH? It doesn't always have to be Black and White.

Would you choose music or a dress that your wife hated?

I certainly hope not...

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I cannot imagine disrespecting my sibling is such a manner. Sickening.
Because a funeral is intended to honor the person who died.
flan
No. Funerals are NOT for the dead. They are for the living.
Oh, husker, why can't it be BOTH? It doesn't always have to be Black and White.
Would you choose music or a dress that your wife hated?
I certainly hope not...
flan

No, but I wouldn't necessarily pick the exact songs she wanted, either, if I hated them. I would not want songs I hate associated with my last memory of her.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Again, mentally fvcked in the head people pretend to be things they are not all the time.

Burying someone in full Napoleonic era military dress because they think they are Napoleon would be just as ridiculous as this.

Wow just wow... Every time i think you've reached the pinnacle of ******** I realize you just don't know how to express yourself any other way.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I don't want a funeral. It's a waste of money IMO. Have a party, talk about me, have some drinks. Don't spend over $10,000 for nothing, please.

Blankie · Guru

I wonder about the legal issue of the name. More info from another internet article, from the Idaho Statesman.

"An obituary published in the Times-News in Twin Falls identified Gable as Geoff, referred to Gable using male pronouns and showed photos from when Gable presented as a man.

Gable's maternal grandparents, George and Joan Walton, raised her, according to the obituary.

A man who answered the telephone at the Waltons' home Sunday evening said, "We have no comment."
Gable's mother died in 2001. Her father, Tony Gable, could not be reached Sunday."

"When Gable died, the death certificate listed her name as "Geoffrey AKA Jennifer Gable," Mike Parke of Magic Valley Funeral Home and Crematory told the Miami Herald."

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Southern_Belle wrote:
I don't want a funeral. It's a waste of money IMO. Have a party, talk about me, have some drinks. Don't spend over $10,000 for nothing, please.

And, as I've been saying ALL ALONG, your wishes should be respected.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

When pawpaw died there was a funeral. He would have hated it. I could see him shaking his head and pretty much telling everyone how stupid it was to waste the money.

But it was what his wife and kids wanted.

The ones actually paying for it. They got to choose what and how to do it.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Wednesday 26th of November 2014 07:10:22 PM

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
When pawpaw died there was a funeral. He would have hated it. I could see him shaking his head and pretty telling everyone how stupid it was to waste the money.

But it was what his wife and kids wanted.

The ones actually paying for it. They got to choose what and how to do it.

Money is the root of all evil...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

No it isn't

It is a means to getting things done.

If you want something done a certain way, pay for it yourself. If you don't, then don't complain about how the paying for it, is doing it.

It's rude.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I cannot believe that some people think the preferences of the deceased do not matter.

Money rules...NOT in my world.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Because it doesn't. What are they going to do? Rise up and haunt you?

It matters to the point of getting them embalmed and in the ground or cremated.

But yes. The one paying for it, makes the final decisions.

You may not like it but that is a fact of life.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Because it doesn't. What are they going to do? Rise up and haunt you?

It matters to the point of getting them embalmed and in the ground or cremated.

But yes. The one paying for it, makes the final decisions.

You may not like it but that is a fact of life.

No, Lily, your opinion does NOT make it a FACT.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Again, mentally fvcked in the head people pretend to be things they are not all the time.

Burying someone in full Napoleonic era military dress because they think they are Napoleon would be just as ridiculous as this.
Wow just wow... Every time i think you've reached the pinnacle of ******** I realize you just don't know how to express yourself any other way.

You're just cranky because you know I'm right and have no cogent arguments to make.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Because it doesn't. What are they going to do? Rise up and haunt you?

It matters to the point of getting them embalmed and in the ground or cremated.

But yes. The one paying for it, makes the final decisions.

You may not like it but that is a fact of life.
No, Lily, your opinion does NOT make it a FACT.
flan

Actually, it is a FACT. Even if you follow the deceased's wishes to the letter--that is still YOUR CHOICE to do so, not theirs.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It isn't my opinion. If you pay for something, you have the say over it. That is a fact.

If you want to do what the dead person wants then fine. You re paying for it, you can.

If you don't want to do what the dead person wanted then fine. You are paying for it, you can do that.

That is a fact. No matter what you do with it. It is still a fact.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
When pawpaw died there was a funeral. He would have hated it. I could see him shaking his head and pretty telling everyone how stupid it was to waste the money.

But it was what his wife and kids wanted.

The ones actually paying for it. They got to choose what and how to do it.

Money is the root of all evil...
flan

Not sure where you get that nonsense.

WYSIWYG · Guru

"The only disrespecting done was by the man who disrespected himself and his family." - lilyofcourse

How does being who she was born to be equate too "disrespected himself and his family"? I understand that you disagree with his choice to be who he was born to be, but how is being who you are disrespectful, especially of one's self?

That doesn't make any sense.

WYSIWYG · Guru

"The one paying for it, makes the final decisions." - lilyofcourse

I do agree with this. This is the way the world works, unfortunately. It would have been nice, however, if the person paying for the funeral could have respected the wishes of the deceased.

I'd feel differently if "respecting the wishes of the deceased" had caused extra financial hardship. But that's not at issue in this case. It's not as if the deceased was asking to be buried in a car or some other weird (and expensive) manner. The deceased lived as a female, and likely would have requested to be buried as one if she had been asked.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Again, mentally fvcked in the head people pretend to be things they are not all the time.

Burying someone in full Napoleonic era military dress because they think they are Napoleon would be just as ridiculous as this.
Wow just wow... Every time i think you've reached the pinnacle of ******** I realize you just don't know how to express yourself any other way.
You're just cranky because you know I'm right and have no cogent arguments to make.

Haha...I'm not cranky and I know better than to argue with you. I just find it funny that you think you're so smart but you can't have a discussion without swearing and ridiculing. Most grownups know that insults and bad language do not make for a good argument.

TOTALLY GEEKED!

Jennifer Gable, Transgender Woman, Presented As Man At Her Funeral