TOTALLY GEEKED!

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Sleep Training

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The only advice I can give is just relax and don't rush things.

I don't know how a person sleep trains a child. I think it is more a balance of what you can live with.

Hope it goes well though.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Good luck! Whenever I hear about this, I think of the Mad About You episode where they Ferberized Mable. It was filmed and aired in real time, and it was traumatic.

JPT · Senior Member

I don't know what this whole "sleep training" thing is...we just put our kids to bed, in their own cribs, and after a bit of fussing, they went to sleep.

Heck, both of mine slept 7 hours straight by 3 months...

FNW · Guru

When #1 came home from the hospital, his days and nights were switched. I think the night nurses got bored and played with him. Anyway, it took us about a week, but we were able to adjust his sleep patterns. When he would wake up, we would take turns holding him. I was afraid I'd fall asleep and drop him so I sat on the floor and put my back against the wall. Eventually he would stop crying then I would put him back in his crib. Eventually he would sleep.

Another thing we did was keep both of them up for an hour or so while we watched TV. We would just hold them and talk to them. Play as much as you can with an infant. #1 loved watching Dancing with the Stars. I think it was the sequins and music that caught his attention. LOL Then we would put them to bed the same time we went to bed. By then they were pretty exhausted. If they did wake up crying at night, we would change their diaper, hold them while giving them a bottle, burp them, then put them to bed. They were through with that by 3 months.

A couple of mistakes I think people make is getting them to fall sleep in their arms then putting them down. Or relying on pacifiers to soothe them, because once they fall out of their mouths, it's all over.

When they were 6 months we put them on a schedule. Formal naps at certain times, and bedtime around 8 PM. They still have an 8PM bedtime. Baths first to relax them, then prayers, hubby would read them a short story (or make one up). One last little bit of water to drink, a kiss, then goodnight.

My twins are 6 years old now. There are still times when they wake us up at night (other than times when they are sick). It's usually a bad dream or to use the bathroom. #2 is going through a phase where he doesn't want to go alone into a room. We sat down and made dream catchers for both and hang them in their room. We also explained that if watching Power Rangers (or their favorite show) is giving them bad dreams, they will need to stop watching them for awhile. The bad dreams suddenly stopped.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I couldn't do it.

I worked full time & DH traveled and I saw nothing wrong with cuddling my child at night.

But good luck.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I would turn off all electronics and lights except the lamp an hour before bed. Read or make up a story and then I turned off the lamp and all they had was a night light. That stayed on till about 10 minutes before sleep time.

I never left a light on in the room all night. The hall had a night light but that was it.

The more calm the evening is, the easier they would go to sleep.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

flan327 wrote:
I couldn't do it.

I worked full time & DH traveled and I saw nothing wrong with cuddling my child at night.

But good luck.

flan

That's how I originally was, but neither of us is getting any quality sleep. He moved around constantly. So far he's given me to bloody noses. I can't keep working full time and commuting if I don't get more rest. I just want him to sleep 1/2 the night in his crib at this point.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Bonny22Pye wrote:
flan327 wrote:
I couldn't do it.

I worked full time & DH traveled and I saw nothing wrong with cuddling my child at night.

But good luck.

flan
That's how I originally was, but neither of us is getting any quality sleep. He moved around constantly. So far he's given me to bloody noses. I can't keep working full time and commuting if I don't get more rest. I just want him to sleep 1/2 the night in his crib at this point.

I wish I could remember more details.

DS1 was a pretty sound sleeper.

After the accident, I would lay down with both boys for about a half hour or more, then get up. Sometimes we slept in the bunk beds, sometimes in my bed...although I tried to start out in their room.

flan

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Baby boy is a horrible sleeper. Other than that he's an angel and a good little boy. He may just be one of those people that has a hard time. My husband has to be in pitch blackness and wear a sleep mask. Maybe he gets it from his father.

FNW · Guru

One of my boys needs more sleep than the other. It's always been that way. #2 usually gets up first in the morning.

I have always had a night light in the boys' room. The last few years it's been one of those welcome candles. When the power goes out, they wake up and call out. I wish I had weaned them off light in their room years ago. But it works for them and allows me to see them when I want to check in on them.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

How much time does he spend napping during the day, Bonny?

FNW · Guru

How old is he?

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
How much time does he spend napping during the day, Bonny?

We get up at 6am

Leave for work by 7:15

He naps in the car on the way there.

I know he gets a nap around 2pm at daycare

I pick him up at 5:30 and he naps on the way home.

On the weekends he usually takes a 30 min nap around 9:30, 1:30 and 5ish.

I try to get him to sleep around 7:30, he is usually down by 8ish.

chef · Guru

Do you have a nighttime routine?

DS' nighttime routine: diaper change, night onesie, night bottle, lights out, cuddles while singing to him, then in his crib when he falls asleep. That's on work nights.

On non-work nights: He gets a diaper change when I go to bed then he stays up late with Daddy and falls asleep whenever he wants. Daddy does a final diaper change and changes him into his night onesie when he starts getting sleepy then gives him his night bottle. He's usually asleep by the end of his bottle and Daddy slips him into his crib. DH loves this time with DS :)

Blankie · Guru

This is what I did:

I couldn't do the cold turkey thing, letting them cry for many minutes at a time.

The recommended method that worked for me was putting the baby down in the crib, then when the inevitable crying happens, go to him after 1 minute. Do not take him out of the crib. Just speak soothingly, saying "time to go to sleep", or singing a short lullabye, or some such thing. Stay for a minute or two and leave. Again, DO NOT PICK HIM UP.

Then when the inevitable crying begins again, wait a longer time - 2 or 3 minutes. Go to him again, repeat as above, not picking him up. Leave.

Again and again, increasing the time you wait before going to him, and never picking him up. He will eventually fall asleep.

This is better for you and him emotionally, because he is hearing your voice, so he's not experiencing the fear that no one is there. But it trains him that you will not pick him up and that he needs to go to sleep in his own crib, not in Mommy's arms.

It only took about 2 nights of this for my son to be trained.

FNW · Guru

How old is he?

I would definitely skip the 5 PM nap. That is way too close to bedtime. Even when my boys napped, I never let them sleep past 4 PM.

Personally, I would give him two longer naps, if he is older than 6 months. Mine got one around 9:30, and another after lunch, around 1 PM. Each one lasted 1 1/2-2 hours. When they got older, the morning nap was eliminated. I think they were almost two. I knew that they would only be getting 1 nap in preschool so I wanted them to have the same schedule at home that they would get at school. They went to school every other day. When they were home, their afternoon nap would sometimes last 3 hours, but never past 4 PM. They used to get up around 6, sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Since this new school year they are sleeping in and I have to wake them up around 7.

FNW · Guru

Blankie wrote:
This is what I did:
I couldn't do the cold turkey thing, letting them cry for many minutes at a time.
The recommended method that worked for me was putting the baby down in the crib, then when the inevitable crying happens, go to him after 1 minute. Do not take him out of the crib. Just speak soothingly, saying "time to go to sleep", or singing a short lullabye, or some such thing. Stay for a minute or two and leave. Again, DO NOT PICK HIM UP.
Then when the inevitable crying begins again, wait a longer time - 2 or 3 minutes. Go to him again, repeat as above, not picking him up. Leave.
Again and again, increasing the time you wait before going to him, and never picking him up. He will eventually fall asleep.
This is better for you and him emotionally, because he is hearing your voice, so he's not experiencing the fear that no one is there. But it trains him that you will not pick him up and that he needs to go to sleep in his own crib, not in Mommy's arms.
It only took about 2 nights of this for my son to be trained.

I did this as well, but I can't remember for how long. I think it was when #1 first came home because that's the only time I remember having problems getting them to sleep.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I was the mom that picked up her kids. They cried and I picked them up. Cuddled them up. I was worn out but I knew it wouldn't last forever. By two they were sleeping from 8 to 7 easily.

Of course they would get up to go the bathroom or get a drink. But they always went back to sleep.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

lilyofcourse wrote:
I was the mom that picked up her kids. They cried and I picked them up. Cuddled them up. I was worn out but I knew it wouldn't last forever. By two they were sleeping from 8 to 7 easily.

Of course they would get up to go the bathroom or get a drink. But they always went back to sleep.

DD10 fell asleep in my arms for YEARS. I would lay with her until she went to sleep until not too long ago. Terrible. But I don't regret it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Thing is, when they cant sleep now, they will still come climb on the bed with me. They sit there and talk to me about things they are thinking or dealing with in their lives. They will stay in there with me thill they get sleepy and they go to their beds.

C does it almost every night. Especially after a date or outing.

She couldn't wait to tell me the guy she has been spending time with has finally asked her out on an official date. She talked about it like a giddy 12 year old for hours they other night.

I love those times with my kids.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

FNW wrote:
How old is he?

I would definitely skip the 5 PM nap. That is way too close to bedtime. Even when my boys napped, I never let them sleep past 4 PM.

Personally, I would give him two longer naps, if he is older than 6 months. Mine got one around 9:30, and another after lunch, around 1 PM. Each one lasted 1 1/2-2 hours. When they got older, the morning nap was eliminated. I think they were almost two. I knew that they would only be getting 1 nap in preschool so I wanted them to have the same schedule at home that they would get at school. They went to school every other day. When they were home, their afternoon nap would sometimes last 3 hours, but never past 4 PM. They used to get up around 6, sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Since this new school year they are sleeping in and I have to wake them up around 7.

He does the 5 pm nap because he usually sleeps on the car ride home.

He's 10 months

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I was the mom that picked up her kids. They cried and I picked them up. Cuddled them up. I was worn out but I knew it wouldn't last forever. By two they were sleeping from 8 to 7 easily.

Of course they would get up to go the bathroom or get a drink. But they always went back to sleep.
DD10 fell asleep in my arms for YEARS. I would lay with her until she went to sleep until not too long ago. Terrible. But I don't regret it.

I agree with this 100%.

My kids just didn't fall asleep well. I had to be there for them to fall asleep.

The cry it out thing didn't work for us. My girls both cried well past the time all the literature said they should have given up. I am talking 5 hours of painful, piercing crying where it sounds like they are in excruciating pain, not whining. And then DD1 started with the vomiting. She could vomit at will and soiled multiple sheets a night when we tried it. When she finally quieted down, I peeked in and she was playing in her own vomit. If I had left her there she could have aspirated on it and died.

I did whatever it took to get them to sleep, with my pediatrician's blessing. She told me the most important thing was that baby and I were both rested enough to deal with another day. If that meant co-sleeping, so be it.

So no advice from me, sorry. Just be prepared for nothing to work. I wasn't prepared for that possibility and I thought I was a terrible mother until the doc told me to "let it go!"

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

My kids slept with me too. Until we couldn't fit in the bed. They never needed me to put them to bed really. They went to sleep fairly well. But if they woke up they wanted me. And I was going to be there.

I don't know. I felt like it was the one thing I could provide. a constant knowing that I was there.

LOL. J was the cutest. I was late to pick him up at preschool one day. Not terribly I was near the back of the line instead the front. He said, why were you at the back of the line. I told him I was late getting back to the school.

His eyes got huge and he said "you mean you don't stay here when I go in?"

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

If my girls slept in their bed, they wanted me in the middle of the night too. Or Dad. They wanted the reassurance that one of us was there for them. I didn't see the need to deny them that.

Didn't have to kick a teenager out of our room...they both slept in their own bed in time.DD2 moved from the bed, to the floor next to our bed, to the foot of the bed, to their own room. DD1 just decided to move into her own room when her sister was born and woke her up in the night.

To this day, both are well adjusted fiercely independent women who are not at all attached to my apron strings.

NAOW · Vette's SS

What are you sleep training for? Getting him to sleep in his own bed? Fall asleep on his own? Sleep all through the night? All of the above?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Of course I didn't have a spouse to put up with. Well I guess I should say I didn't have a spouse to keep happy.

I can see a married couple needing their time together.

Tinydancer · Guru

I could use some sleep training...lol. My insomnia's out of control lately.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tinydancer wrote:
I could use some sleep training...lol. My insomnia's out of control lately.

I have to keep a bedtime for myself or I will easily go back to up all night mode.

I worked either 2nd or 3rd most of my life. If I don't keep a decent bedtime routine I will be up for days and then crash.

Tinydancer · Guru

I have to be in work early (6 am) so I need to be up at 4am. So if I'm sleeping by 9pm I get 7 hrs of sleep. That doesn't happen much...lol

NAOW · Vette's SS

With DD6 I did what Blankie did with a very predictable bedtime routine. She was 10 months and had been sleeping in my room and waking A LOT throughout the night. She was getting too big for the pack n play so I wanted her to be in her bed and not wake up as much during the night.

I watched the clock though, because I found that when babies are crying it feels like hours when really it is just minutes. I was surprised how quickly she gave up and went to sleep when I was looking at a clock. And it only took a few days before she was sleeping in her bed, in her room, and falling asleep on her own. She still had one night waking for a long time after that, but it was still a huge improvement.

I finally moved Baby A to her crib 2 nights ago, and she has been sleeping a little better (I had posted how she was staying up really late and having a lot of night wakings) but I really miss her in my room. I will admit I am more comfortable with my kids in my room. DD6 still comes and sleeps on the floor on the weekends. Only on weekends because DH gets up early for work and she would wake up to his alarm.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Ok skipped over what everyone else posted. A friend of mine has this issue. I told her 3 times is the magic number for breaking any baby habit. Just let him cry 3 nights in a row, don't go get him. Yeah you will be exhausted but you would be anyway getting up. Plus you are at a crucial stage; he will be mobile soon, you need to break him of the habit before he can get up himself and walk into your room.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tinydancer wrote:
I have to be in work early (6 am) so I need to be up at 4am. So if I'm sleeping by 9pm I get 7 hrs of sleep. That doesn't happen much...lol

I get to sleep around 12 or 1 and am up between 5 and 6:50.

But I do have the ability to lay back down. I usually get about 2 more hours after I get the boys to school.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I couldn't be comfortable with my kids sleeping in the floor. It just bothers me.

Tinydancer · Guru

I stay up late on weekends. I pay for it on Mondays though.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I was the mom that picked up her kids. They cried and I picked them up. Cuddled them up. I was worn out but I knew it wouldn't last forever. By two they were sleeping from 8 to 7 easily.

Of course they would get up to go the bathroom or get a drink. But they always went back to sleep.
DD10 fell asleep in my arms for YEARS. I would lay with her until she went to sleep until not too long ago. Terrible. But I don't regret it.

No, it's not.

You're the MOTHER. You get to choose.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tinydancer wrote:
I stay up late on weekends. I pay for it on Mondays though.

The funny thing with my bunch is that come Friday they are usually ready for bed by 9. It happens more often than not. I will be in the living room watching a movie and I realize they didn't come back from their room.

I know when I was a teen, there was no way I would have been asleep before midnight on the weekend. I had to stay up and watch Head Bangerz Ball. LOL!!

Tinydancer · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
I stay up late on weekends. I pay for it on Mondays though.
The funny thing with my bunch is that come Friday they are usually ready for bed by 9. It happens more often than not. I will be in the living room watching a movie and I realize they didn't come back from their room.
I know when I was a teen, there was no way I would have been asleep before midnight on the weekend. I had to stay up and watch Head Bangerz Ball. LOL!!

For me it was Saturday Night Live. It's hard to go to bed before most children have too...lol

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

SNL was awesome back in the 80s. It's no where near as good now.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I was the mom that picked up her kids. They cried and I picked them up. Cuddled them up. I was worn out but I knew it wouldn't last forever. By two they were sleeping from 8 to 7 easily.

Of course they would get up to go the bathroom or get a drink. But they always went back to sleep.
DD10 fell asleep in my arms for YEARS. I would lay with her until she went to sleep until not too long ago. Terrible. But I don't regret it.
No, it's not.
You're the MOTHER. You get to choose.
flan

That is true. And I really did like the snuggling. To finally break her of the habit, we bought her a loft bed. The first couple of weeks I sat in a chair in the room or laid on the floor until she fell asleep. Now she can go to bed completely by herself. So, Bonny - our sleep training took 10 years. LOL! Good luck!

Baby J was different. She was already sleep trained when we got her, thanks to my mother.

When DH goes out of town, they get to sleep with me, though, in the big bed.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Tinydancer wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
I stay up late on weekends. I pay for it on Mondays though.
The funny thing with my bunch is that come Friday they are usually ready for bed by 9. It happens more often than not. I will be in the living room watching a movie and I realize they didn't come back from their room.
I know when I was a teen, there was no way I would have been asleep before midnight on the weekend. I had to stay up and watch Head Bangerz Ball. LOL!!
For me it was Saturday Night Live. It's hard to go to bed before most children have too...lol

Friday night videos!

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

DD would come into my room almost every night until about a year ago, now she doesn't unless a really bad dream. She is 9 1/2. I love the cuddling. We still do watching movies on the sofa but I think now she has matured enough she doesn't need it. And now I miss her being a little one.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Well he's sleeping in the swing right now. Which was the best gift ever!

ed11563 · Guru

Bonny22Pye wrote:
Well he's sleeping in the swing right now. Which was the best gift ever!

I thought so.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Bonny22Pye wrote:
Well he's sleeping in the swing right now. Which was the best gift ever!

I always say a swing is the first piece of baby equipment a parent should get! My kids lived in them. And I am not ashamed to say this.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

This thread ruined my night. I must have been dreaming and I heard a baby WAILING, like something was really wrong and I jumped out of bed and ran to Baby J's room, and NOPE. She was sound asleep. DH says it might have been a cat caterwauling outside, but it was a baby crying - I must have dreamed it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Mom and dad tell us a story of how mom made dad get up one night to go outside to find the crying baby right after they first got married.

She said it was about 3 in the morning and she would not let him sleep until he went out to look.

It was a couple of their neighbors Siamese cats under their front steps.

Ilumine · Regular

I had this problem when I was in Germany. Our German pediatric nurse neighbor gave me some amazing advice that came from a British study on sleep and children.

It boils down to expecting babies and toddlers to have the same sleep patterns as Adults, which is counter productive to the reality of the average baby's body/needs.

Basically, the average ONE YEAR OLD's (not younger) sleep pattern is a solid 6-7 hours starting at the 11pm to 6:00am. That we are trying to put the kids down way too early and expect them to stay asleep way too long way too early.

So yes, you should have that late afternoon nap, but then not go down until 11. And in between these naps and final night sleep, you need to engage them in activity and then food and the soothe.

Once you get them settled on the 11-6 schedule, you slowly work out one side at a time.

Honest to God, this was the best advice EVER! It clicked the second night and I got my first uninterrupted 6 straight hours since she had been born.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Ilumine wrote:
I had this problem when I was in Germany. Our German pediatric nurse neighbor gave me some amazing advice that came from a British study on sleep and children.

It boils down to expecting babies and toddlers to have the same sleep patterns as Adults, which is counter productive to the reality of the average baby's body/needs.

Basically, the average ONE YEAR OLD's (not younger) sleep pattern is a solid 6-7 hours starting at the 11pm to 6:00am. That we are trying to put the kids down way too early and expect them to stay asleep way too long way too early.

So yes, you should have that late afternoon nap, but then not go down until 11. And in between these naps and final night sleep, you need to engage them in activity and then food and the soothe.

Once you get them settled on the 11-6 schedule, you slowly work out one side at a time.

Honest to God, this was the best advice EVER! It clicked the second night and I got my first uninterrupted 6 straight hours since she had been born.

That is different from every sleep study I have ever seen. I don't know how a kid would get enough sleep only getting 7 hours at night. Not saying its wrong, but my kids would need a lot more sleep than that.

The two middle paragraphs are similar to what I have seen, but that 7 hour stretch would occur throught out a night sleep of 11-12 hours total.

Eta: sorry. This ended upsounding a lot more argumentative than I intended. Its worth a shot!

-- Edited by NAOW on Thursday 11th of December 2014 09:54:58 AM

FNW · Guru

Our boys started out in the nursery, which was off our master bedroom. I could see the cribs from my bed. When they got "older", I closed the doors to that room.

When they were older, we moved their cribs into their bedroom. They didn't like that room. One wall was painted red. I remember one time we were at my MIL's house and their cribs were set up in the guest room which was also red and they would not sleep all night. So we painted that wall navy blue. We moved the cribs back in and they were fine. Maybe it was the color, maybe it was just that they were a little bit older. At that time we bought toddler beds which we also put in that room, so they could get used to the idea. Then we did the whole "you're a big boy now, do you want to sleep in those beds?" They were thrilled and we got rid of the cribs. We kept a tall gate in their doorway to keep them confined. We also had a gate at the top of the stairs which is directly across from their room. I was afraid they'd get up in the middle of the night and roll down the stairs.

At first we'd hear a thunk every night then crying when one fell out. It was only a foot from the floor so they weren't hurt, just confused and scared. We'd rush in and console them, tell them what happened, then put them back in. After a year or so with the toddler beds we bought them the twin beds they are currently using. I would like to separate them and give them each their own room, but #1 will have no part of it.

The gates remained until they were about 3. I had a little potty chair on a towel in their room in case they needed to get up in the middle of the night. Once they were proficient at going to the bathroom by themselves, the gate to their room came off. The stairs gate came off when they were 4 because we ripped up the carpet and had hardwood floors installed. We also had the bannister replaced so it was a good time to get rid of the gate.

We sleep with our door open but theirs is mostly closed but still ajar. Someone gets up most every night. Sometimes they need/want something, but they always go back to bed and back to sleep. Last night #1 said his legs hurt so we gave him some ibuprofen.