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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Prudie: Hubby the Scrooge
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Dear Prudie,
My husband and I have been together for six years. We are finally, after years of struggling financially, in a place where we live comfortably. This is our first Christmas in the new apartment, and I want to purchase some (cheap) decorations for the holiday. We are not religious, I just want a small tree and some ornaments to hang from it. I enjoy Christmas because it reminds me of my childhood and my family with whom I am very close. My family is hugely Christmas-centric, some of them having six or seven trees in one house. My husband hates Christmas. When I brought up my desire to get a small, cheap tree, he told me absolutely not, that I was forbidden to put up any Christmas decorations. (He does not have PTSD or anything related to the holiday season, so I don’t get it.) I’ve explained to him how I feel about the holiday, and why I want to do it, but it makes no difference. What do we do?

—Mrs. Scrooge

Dear Mrs.,
I hope your husband, Ebenezer, is delightful company on Columbus Day and Labor Day. You say he doesn’t suffer from any Christmas-related trauma (He saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus?) so his adamant Grinchiness is inexplicable. Maybe he’s afraid that if he allows one little tree, given your family’s proclivities, soon he will be living in a holiday arboretum. But in the absence of a secret pine-needle phobia, he needs to give in. He’s being mean and capricious, and you are entitled to enjoy the festivities of the season in your own home. Tell him his dislike of Christmas does not trump your love of it, and you’re getting that tree. Place some mistletoe overhead and let’s hope that once you two are standing under it, and he has a couple of glasses of grog in him, he gets into the spirit. And if he doesn’t, think of the money you’ll save on his gift.
—Prudie

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/12/dear_prudence_i_hate_the_wedding_dress_i_bought.2.html



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NAOW


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She has to ask permission to decorate her own house?

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ed11563


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It can be pretty awkward when one partner is adamant about something.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yeah, after 6 yrs she didn't realize he was a controlling idiot? Uh huh. Wow.

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Lawyerlady


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NAOW wrote:

She has to ask permission to decorate her own house?

 Oh, hell no.  She needs to put up a big obnoxious tree and when he bitches, hit him over the head with the topper.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I have a friend like this. She is a working professional. She married an older man. She has to "ask" him if she can do this that or the other thing. Or, perhaps that is just a convenient excuse she uses. She wanted to join the local gym. It's like a couple hundred bucks. They are both have great jobs. But, she had to "prove" to her husband that she would stick with exercising by first working out in the basement for a period of time. Um, no. How ridiculous.

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NAOW


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Lawyerlady wrote:
NAOW wrote:

She has to ask permission to decorate her own house?

 Oh, hell no.  She needs to put up a big obnoxious tree and when he bitches, hit him over the head with the topper.

 I would look at my husband like he had two heads if he talked to me like that.  I like your solution better :)



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NAOW


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I have a friend like this. She is a working professional. She married an older man. She has to "ask" him if she can do this that or the other thing. Or, perhaps that is just a convenient excuse she uses. She wanted to join the local gym. It's like a couple hundred bucks. They are both have great jobs. But, she had to "prove" to her husband that she would stick with exercising by first working out in the basement for a period of time. Um, no. How ridiculous.

 Ugh. Ew. I couldn't live like that. 



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just Czech


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Divorce his sorry arse. My, doesn't he think he's special.
What if they have kids? Looks like that probably will NOT happen too.
I have known two individuals who despised all holidays. They refused to celebrate or decorate, out of spite. Miserable people all their lives and they couldn't figure out why.
I have no pity for this man. His wife should have figured this out a long time ago, like before they were married.

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Me neither. I don't get it. We roomed together right out of college. She is a smart woman but at what point do you just give yourself permission to like what you like and do what you like? I like what I like and DH likes what he likes. If I want to spend $300 for Lady Gaga tickets, then by God, that is what I am going to do. I mean, yeah, if you are broke, then dont' be stupid. But, at some point in life you have to claim who YOU are.

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huskerbb


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NAOW wrote:

She has to ask permission to decorate her own house?

I can't believe decorating the house is even something he gives a crap about.

 

The word "forbidden" isn't really a word to be used in a marriage.   



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voiceofreason


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I can't seem to post a picture of this but there's a funny nativity set called the negativity scene. It would be perfect for her mantle. If someone can figure out how to post it, it's at negativityscene.com

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Negativity_Scene_Group-1024x724.jpg



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The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

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voiceofreason


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Thanks njn. I'm cracking up over little baby jesus scowling.

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I love the donkey. He reminds me of Eeyore.

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She says they are not religious.

Perhaps she needs to ask him if that has something to do with it.

I cant believe you are married to someone for that long and not know he felt so strongly about Christmas.

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I'd seriously think if I wanted to spend any more time married to him. Not because of his dislike of Christmas but because he though he could forbid me not to do something.

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What is this "years of struggling"? They are married for six years and that becomes "years of struggling"? Who is she taking her ques from? 6 is not decades of struggling, certainly not enough to call it years. Geesh. And as for not putting up a tree? Pgfffttttt, yeah that would be my que to put a big one up of leave.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Lawyerlady wrote:
NAOW wrote:

She has to ask permission to decorate her own house?

 Oh, hell no.  She needs to put up a big obnoxious tree and when he bitches, hit him over the head with the topper.

LOL!!   biggrin



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Nobody Just Nobody


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She could stick the tree up his ass and make HIM the tree topper...

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yeah what do years of struggling have to do with putting up a Christmas tree? Sounds like they deserve each other.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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They couldn't afford a tree for 6 yrs?

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Lawyerlady


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

She could stick the tree up his ass and make HIM the tree topper...

 LOL!



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flan327


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Southern_Belle wrote:

The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

 I'm the same way!

flan



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flan327 wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

 I'm the same way!

flan

 No kidding! I would have the most obnoxious decorations ever and I would be blasting carols 24/7 while wearing my ugliest Christmas sweater. 

 

And I would NOT be friendly in the bedroom either. 



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flan327


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Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

 I'm the same way!

flan

 No kidding! I would have the most obnoxious decorations ever and I would be blasting carols 24/7 while wearing my ugliest Christmas sweater. 

 

And I would NOT be friendly in the bedroom either. 

 Excellent strategy!

flan



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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So she didn't realize this over 6 years? I mean how does that even come up where u think you need to ask if you are ALLOWED to decorate your own home, ?

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huskerbb


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Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

 I'm the same way!

flan

 No kidding! I would have the most obnoxious decorations ever and I would be blasting carols 24/7 while wearing my ugliest Christmas sweater. 

 

And I would NOT be friendly in the bedroom either. 

Sex should NEVER be used as a weapon in the relationship. 

 

If this isn't a match after 6 years, and this is part of a pattern rather than an isolated incident, then fine, maybe it needs to end.  Using sex, or withholding of such, to get what you want is TOXIC--much more so than his "forbidding" some lousy decorations.   



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Or it could be a joke Husker.

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huskerbb


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Mellow Momma wrote:

Or it could be a joke Husker.

Maybe for you, it is--but you know as well as I do that many people in relationships do resort to that.   



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

She could stick the tree up his ass and make HIM the tree topper...

This!

biggrin 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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huskerbb wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

 I'm the same way!

flan

 No kidding! I would have the most obnoxious decorations ever and I would be blasting carols 24/7 while wearing my ugliest Christmas sweater. 

 

And I would NOT be friendly in the bedroom either. 

Sex should NEVER be used as a weapon in the relationship. 

 

If this isn't a match after 6 years, and this is part of a pattern rather than an isolated incident, then fine, maybe it needs to end.  Using sex, or withholding of such, to get what you want is TOXIC--much more so than his "forbidding" some lousy decorations.   

Well, how are you supposed to feel sexual to someone who is treating you in manner.  It isn't the "lousy decoration" that is the problem.  The toxicity in this relationship is that she is married to a control freaking ahole.  So, yeah, no someone I would want in my boudoir. 



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huskerbb


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

The word "forbidden" to me means "hell yeah I'ma do it!"

 I'm the same way!

flan

 No kidding! I would have the most obnoxious decorations ever and I would be blasting carols 24/7 while wearing my ugliest Christmas sweater. 

 

And I would NOT be friendly in the bedroom either. 

Sex should NEVER be used as a weapon in the relationship. 

 

If this isn't a match after 6 years, and this is part of a pattern rather than an isolated incident, then fine, maybe it needs to end.  Using sex, or withholding of such, to get what you want is TOXIC--much more so than his "forbidding" some lousy decorations.   

Well, how are you supposed to feel sexual to someone who is treating you in manner.  It isn't the "lousy decoration" that is the problem.  The toxicity in this relationship is that she is married to a control freaking ahole.  So, yeah, no someone I would want in my boudoir. 

Then don't marry them in the first place or, leave them now as the case may be--but if you are going to stay in the relationship, then leave your b!tches out of the boudoir. You are choosing to stay.   



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Well, obviously. She should not have married that idiot. I agree.

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