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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: I Don't Want to Be Husband's Groupie!
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: I Don't Want to Be Husband's Groupie!
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DEAR ABBY: My husband took up the guitar about 10 years ago. I thought it was a great idea at first and encouraged his interest. Within two years of his learning to play, I was expected to sit, listen to him and never interrupt a song.

Needless to say, his demands have not gone over well with me. This is his hobby, not mine. He plays well, but can't sing a note. When he does, he sounds like a cat in heat, and he likes to perform like he's playing for a crowd.

My peace and quiet at home are gone. He says I don't support him. What is your take on this? -- WANTS PEACE AND QUIET

DEAR WANTS: Your husband wants praise and validation, and you should give it to him in the area where it's deserved -- for having mastered the guitar. However, because his singing needs tweaking, be honest and tactfully suggest he find a vocal coach to help him in that area. If he reacts defensively, be sure to mention that some of the finest singers in the world get coaching throughout their careers to avoid damaging their vocal cords.

PS. Perhaps you should encourage him to find other musicians to start a group. That way, he'll have an outlet for his talent and you'll be free (at last!).

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/12/20/depression-could-be-driving-teenage-girl



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huskerbb


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A "voice coach" for a part time hobby?

That seems beyond silly. It's not like he's going to be the next American Idol winner.

So he says that she doesn't support him.

Well, so what? She can say that she does support him but doesn't have the time or the inclination to just sit there and listen every time he plays and sings. She can do it once a week or whatever.

If he can't accept that, what's he going to do? Take away her birthday?

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lilyofcourse


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Sounds like every wife of a guy who is so into their own hobby they fail to see they are the only one enjoying it.



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huskerbb


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Sounds like every wife of a guy who is so into their own hobby they fail to see they are the only one enjoying it.

Maybe--but not every one of those guys expects their wife to enjoy it.  

When most guys go golfing or fishing, they don't even want their wives to go along. 

 

He's being unreasonable--but she can't control him.  She just has to buck up, refuse to pander to him every time he wants to play guitar, and go do her own thing.  He'll likely get over it after a little pouting, and if not, that says a lot, too, and she can take it from there.  



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Do what my sister did. Her husband is into the guitar. One day she just flat out told him "You are fat and bald and old and you are never going to be a Rock Star!".


LMAO!!!

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huskerbb


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Do what my sister did. Her husband is into the guitar. One day she just flat out told him "You are fat and bald and old and you are never going to be a Rock Star!".


LMAO!!!

First of all, that's mean. 

When my wife is exercising--which is one of her hobbies--should I say "you're old and fat so what's the point"?  No.  That would be mean.

 

Second, you can play guitar for your own enjoyment without being the next "rock star".  People play golf without the expectation that they are the next Tiger Woods.  Some people like to cook without the expectation of being the next Rachel Ray.  Some people play basketball with no expectation that they are going to be drafted into the NBA.  I like to sing karaoke and I know that American Idol isn't calling.

Just because they can't accomplish something at the very highest level doesn't mean it's not worth doing or pursuing.   



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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My sister always tells it the way it is. Luv her!

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Lawyerlady


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DH loves soccer, so he is the volunteer assistant coach at the high school. I do NOT like to go and watch games. I've been to one. That's enough. It's his hobby, not mine.

I do, however, wash the girls' pennies.

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JPT


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Weeeelll, my DH is a musician. A drummer to be exact...and there are times when I have to listen regardless. But I will say the he is pretty considerate and uses headphones when he practices (it's an electronic kit). Oh, and once a week, his entire band rehearses in what used to be our living room.

In the OP, I am wondering what is the real issue...that she just doesn't like sitting and listening to him "perform", or that he expects an unreasonable amount of her time (like an hour or two of rapt attention)

If the hubby has an itch, there are plenty of places that would love to have him come and play on a casual basis, nursing homes, senior centers, even open mike nites at local places (at least around here!)

My DH isn't the best lead singer, but he's a whiz at harmonizing, and being able to do that and play percussion is pretty amazing to me. So, she doesn't like his singing. I think a loving couple can support each other to a reasonable degree.




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ed11563


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Lawyerlady wrote:



I do, however, wash the girls' pennies.

What does this mean? 



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TrudyML


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Maybe she means pinnies?

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Lawyerlady


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The scrimage vests. They get nasty. The girls are very appreciative when I make them smell April fresh.

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ed11563


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Lawyerlady wrote:

The scrimage vests. They get nasty. The girls are very appreciative when I make them smell April fresh.

Thanks.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I bought my own for my team. I don't think that the school ever washes them.

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Tignanello


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ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:



I do, however, wash the girls' pennies.

What does this mean? 

 I'm glad this got clarified - I was like, wow - LL's hobby is bathing her daughter's pocket change?  That is very . . .  erm . . . interesting . . . 



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Lawyerlady


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I bought my own for my team. I don't think that the school ever washes them.

 These are the schools'.  DH brings them home and I wash them.



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LawyerLady

 

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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That's very nice of you LL. I just figured I would buy some for my team and I got some purple ones and the girls really like them.

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Mellow Momma


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Lawyerlady wrote:

The scrimage vests. They get nasty. The girls are very appreciative when I make them smell April fresh.

 I can testify that no school will ever wash them because they are almost always in the coach's trunk. Lol. 

 

At college DH had a grad assistant that washed them once or twice. But typically, it's me thar washes them. I have to remind DH  to bring them in the house though. 

Don't ever forget to put in the dryer sheet! Those things collect so much static!



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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What girl wants to wear a vest that was on a smelly boy? Lol

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Lawyerlady


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Mellow Momma wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

The scrimage vests. They get nasty. The girls are very appreciative when I make them smell April fresh.

 I can testify that no school will ever wash them because they are almost always in the coach's trunk. Lol. 

 

At college DH had a grad assistant that washed them once or twice. But typically, it's me thar washes them. I have to remind DH  to bring them in the house though. 

Don't ever forget to put in the dryer sheet! Those things collect so much static!

 I know. 

 

Ugg, I got in DH's car once, and was like - WHAT IS THAT SMELL????  I've been washing them ever since.  LOL.



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LawyerLady

 

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flan327


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DH actually taught himself to play the guitar a few years ago. When he asks me to listen, it generally takes a minute or two.

Maybe the wife can take up a hobby too..."Look, honey, I am painting my nails! Let's watch the polish dry."

flan

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