TOTALLY GEEKED!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Miss Manners: Friends Don't Respond
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Miss Manners: Friends Don't Respond
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Dear Miss Manners: Friends Don't Respond
Permalink  
 

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Friends have made it very clear that they no longer answer their house phones, nor do they check their email accounts.

My wife works out of town and we travel as a couple a great deal, for business and pleasure. In an effort to plan an event or mark a change in their lives, we have resorted to personal notes.

The results have been disappointing at best. Often we are met with silence, and, on a number of occasions, with anger.

It appears we are to play telephone tag or text their cellphones with invitations or remembrances of major events in their lives. The passing of family, pets, jobs or other events can all be handled in less than 140 characters.

Did we miss the memo: Have our lives become so busy and tied to a cellphone that an attempt to express sympathy, compassion or extend an invitation is to be derided as belonging to another era?

GENTLE READER: By your own account, you have resorted to personal notes not because you believe in a more graceful way of communicating, but rather because no one is answering your emails and home voice mails.

Miss Manners sympathizes and suggests that this form the basis of your response to those who object to your handwritten missives.

http://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2015/1/6/couple-resorts-to-writing-notes-to

 

 

Related:

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter (age 27) and I had a lengthy, mildly heated debate about returning texts. If someone texts her to see how her studies are going, my daughter says she doesn't have time to respond to every such text.

I feel that anytime someone takes the time to pick up a phone or text or email you to see how you are doing, you should get back to that person. I also say it is a reflection of your character.

She totally disagrees.

GENTLE READER: Sometimes, two or more perfectly valid etiquette rules can be contradictory, and one must use judgment to decide which of them takes precedence.

While Miss Manners agrees that inquiries from a friend or family member deserve a response, she wonders how often these updates are being requested. There is also a rule against pestering someone who is trying to work

 

 

 

 

 



-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Friday 9th of January 2015 07:16:12 AM

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

I think if someone is not opening / reading your email messages, and not answering their phone when you call, and ignoring your voicemail messages,

 

they're telling you that they don't want you in their life.



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
TrudyML


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10458
Date:
Permalink  
 

Really? Why are you asking this! Ugh, kick them to the curb.

__________________
FNW


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 18703
Date:
Permalink  
 

Some people cannot take a hint.

__________________

#it's5o'clocksomewhere
karl271


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1973
Date:
Permalink  
 

Ed has hit the nail right on the head. If people are not answering they do not want to communicate; don't know why they don't just come out and say so.....

__________________

Just take it easy and think it over.
I know what to do_sometimes


Frozen Sucks!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24384
Date:
Permalink  
 

karl271 wrote:

Ed has hit the nail right on the head. If people are not answering they do not want to communicate; don't know why they don't just come out and say so.....

 Yep. And as Trudy said, "kick them to the curb"  Although, if someone texts me a lot, I may only respond to a few, since I just don't have the time in any day to sit there and text all the time.  If I don't respond to your "friend" email or text within a week, I am on vaca, dead, or don't care.  If you are a business, it may take me a couple of weeks to get back to you.



__________________

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

Frozen is the bestest movie ever, NOT!
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

They can communicate how they want and the others can as well You don't get to dictate how some one else does. But I figured if I wanted to talk to my teen sons then I better learn how to text and geton board with technology.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
tlc


Regular

Status: Offline
Posts: 373
Date:
Permalink  
 

I usually don't text much or receive many texts, but when I was in the hospital, I got a lot. One friend texted me several times a day, wanting to know how I was every day, and wanted to carry on conversations this way. DROVE ME NUTS! I had to actually up my text messaging plan so I wouldn't have to pay for the overage, just because of her. I appreciated that she cared how I was doing, but I was in the hospital and being interrupted by nurses, doctors, what have you, every 20 minutes, so it was aggravating to get so many texts that really weren't that important. I got to the point where I would not text her back until late evening so we weren't going back and forth.

But, if people aren't responding to your texts/emails at all, ever, they don't care. People seem to think that every email and text requires a quick response, and they don't always. I'll text back when I have time, or feel like it. If it's that important, call me.

__________________
Tignanello


My dog name is, Sasha!

Status: Offline
Posts: 5883
Date:
Permalink  
 

Is it possible that the LW's friends are trying to subtly dump him/her as a friend? "I never check my email or phone" seems like a passive way to say "I don't answer the phone when you call or respond to your emails. Leave me alone".

__________________

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not today, Satan.  Not today.
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

I honestly don't check my voice mail. DH gets so mad because I don't. If I see someone called I usually call them back when I get around to noticing that they called in the first place. I am so NOT tied to my phone. I leave it at home a lot. If people expect to get hold of me only by text then they'll be waiting a long time. I check my email more often. Several times a day. So that would be better. But if you really want to tell me something just call me. I don't understand the society we've become where everything has to be by text.

__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
Southern_Belle


Nothing's Impossible

Status: Offline
Posts: 16913
Date:
Permalink  
 

I hardly ever answer my phone and I'm really bad at checking email and voice mail. I do respond to texts but maybe not right away.

__________________

A person's a person no matter how small.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Miss Manners: Friends Don't Respond


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard