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totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> A Customer Wants To Make A Waitress' Life Miserable. So The Waitress Blurts Out The Truth.
Post Info TOPIC: A Customer Wants To Make A Waitress' Life Miserable. So The Waitress Blurts Out The Truth.
Have you ever left a really big tip? [11 vote(s)]

Yes
54.5%
Never over 25%
18.2%
No
18.2%
other, explain?
9.1%
ed11563


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A Customer Wants To Make A Waitress' Life Miserable. So The Waitress Blurts Out The Truth.
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A Customer Wants To Make A Waitress' Life Miserable. So The Waitress Blurts Out The Truth.

Adam Mordecai Curator: Adam Mordecai

Not-so-fun fact: A waiter's minimum wage in America is $2.13 per hour plus tips. Waiters are three times more likely to fall under the poverty line than average workers, and women are three times more likely to be a waiter. They average $18,590 annually in income. Which ain't much to live on. Which is why this waitress has something blunt and kind of hilarious to say.

 

If you want to see more amazing stuff from Thadra, you could Like her on Facebook. And you could share this.

 
Transcript:
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Waiting

It’s 8 a.m.;

smack in the middle of the breakfast rush

I’m juggling

three booths,

an 8-top round,

4 twos and 3 four tops

Table 2 is low on water

booth 6 needs a new fork

5 needs coffee for the 67th time

4 actually finished their food yesterday, now they’re just chatting,

and 7's been waiting too long.

We’re out of syrup,

so I have to run down to dry storage,

When the front door opens, and he stalks in;

his jaw clenched so tight you can hear his teeth

cracking from the pressure.

He picks my last open six-top booth by himself.

And I’d like to offer to pull up a couple of spare tables

so he can really spread out,

but as he bellows

CAN I GET SOME SERVICE OVER HERE?

I gather

sarcastic comments might not fly

with this audience,

so I secretly nickname him "cranky,"

‘cause....well....

if the shoe fits.

Now 2 Starts waving their half-empty water glasses.

and 7’s foods up, so I load my arms

with plates I swear the cooks

baked in the kiln moments before!

Drop off food, they want tabasco

bring tabasco, they want OJ

bring OJ, they want extra napkins

bring napkins, they want another side of bacon.

Consider offering table four

pillows and blankets to make their stay here more comfortable.

Coffee table 5 for the 68th time

And as I’m expecting to see one of their arteries actually

burst through their skin I hear the unmistakable

rapid staccato clink

of fork against a plate.

Cranky’s stabbing his breakfast

like a venomous spider that just won’t die.

There appears to be something

viciously wrong with his food.

I steel myself for the worst.

Is everything all right sir?

WELL, THESE POTATOES ARE LIKE LEATHER

THE COFFEE IS JUST AWFUL

MY TOAST IS BURNT

AND THESE EGGS ARE HARDLY POACHED SOFT.

DID YOU NOT HEAR ME SAY SOFT?

.......

I’m sorry.

Did they not cook that quite right?

Did you want me to maybe have your

mom come in and cut your toast into little bunny shapes?

Would that help?

Perhaps I could get your father on the phone

to finally tell you he loves you.

Could I get you a raise?

Would that make it better?

Or maybe I should just

supplicate myself before you

so you can

whip me with your menu.

If I get my boss over here to

fire me in front of you

would you sleep better tonight?

Would you like to see me

led out in handcuffs?

'Cause it’s not really about the food, here, is it?

Let’s get to the point.

You just want someone,

anyone

to have a ****tier day and a ****tier life than you.

So if I just

crumple to the floor in tears can we

bypass all this breakfast bull**** so I can

get that table their freaking water?

Dear God, look at them!

Their cheeks are caving in from dehydration!

You know if you people hadn’t gotten so drunk last night

you wouldn’t be this thirsty.

Is this going to effect my tip?

‘cause I’ve seen you before.

You always leave a shiny quarter, and I was

really hoping to get that

gumball today.

Now I realize

the fact I’m working here

must mean I can barely spell the word egg,

spend my off time watching soap operas

and clipping coupons from the Sunday shopper,

and if Aliens came to take

the finest of our species back to their planet

to breed a superhuman race,

they’d take you.

But I’m not here to prove my intelligence

I am here to take your order, bring it,

and drop off your check.

You are here to eat, pay, leave me that quarter

and scram.

And at the end of the day,

I'm doing a poetry show that

unfortunately doesn’t quite yet cut my financial mustard.

So let’s

cut through the crap and

finish this transaction

‘cause I

GOT ORDERS TO TAKE

There may be small errors in this transcript.
About:

Poetic rant by Thadra Sheridan, directed by one of my favorite poets, Jamie DeWolfe, and produced with Button Poetry, some of my favorite folks on Earth. You can see the study on labor rates here.

Topics:

 



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huskerbb


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I tip 15% like it's the 11th commandment. I rarely go much over, and unless the service is really bad, not often do I tip much under, or leave no tip.

People say that you should now leave 15-20% to keep up with inflation--but that makes no sense.

Let's say that 20 years ago, a steak and a baked potato cost $20 at a chain restaurant or a bar and grill. A 15% tip would be $3.

That price has probably doubled in that time, so that same steak and baked potato costs $40 today, so the tip would be $6.

The "inflation" is built into the cost of the meal.

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Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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huskerbb wrote:

I tip 15% like it's the 11th commandment. I rarely go much over, and unless the service is really bad, not often do I tip much under, or leave no tip.

People say that you should now leave 15-20% to keep up with inflation--but that makes no sense.

Let's say that 20 years ago, a steak and a baked potato cost $20 at a chain restaurant or a bar and grill. A 15% tip would be $3.

That price has probably doubled in that time, so that same steak and baked potato costs $40 today, so the tip would be $6.

The "inflation" is built into the cost of the meal.

 I agree with this, but since I was a server for so long, I'll usually tip 20% for excellent service.  If it's average - I tip 15%.  Normally, my tip lies somewhere in between. 

 

The server would almost have to set me on fire or call me a bitch to my face to get no tip at all.



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LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
Lexxy


My dog name is Sasha, too!

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I alway round up my bill & leave 20%. If the service is great 30%. My regular waitress at our favorite Mexican place always gets 30% or more but she will make us anything we want totally off menu.

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Scooby


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At least 20%

It has to be really, really bad to get less than that.

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Blankie


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20% for good service. And that means good service.

25 or 30% for exceptionally good service.

10 or 15% for bad service, or if it's miserably bad, no tip at all, and an explanation why written on the check for educational purposes.

We're regulars at a local restaurant. Two days before Christmas we got our favorite waiter, who is exceptionally good. We gave him a 50% tip and a big smile.



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how you treat people ultimately tells all.

Integrity is everything.
Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

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I once had breakfast at a diner out of town. It was really cheap. I think my total was $3.99. I left the waitress $10 for the whole check. The breakfast was really good, the service was really good and I would have happily paid that much for the meal before tax/tip.

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ed11563


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Mellow Momma wrote:

I once had breakfast at a diner out of town. It was really cheap. I think my total was $3.99. I left the waitress $10 for the whole check. The breakfast was really good, the service was really good and I would have happily paid that much for the meal before tax/tip.

I've done this too, left a $10 tip for really great service for an inexpensive meal. 

 



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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
TrudyML


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My bartender jumps for joy when I show up. Excellent service, hot food, always a filled beer. She always gets a huge tip. I appreciate her looking out.

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Momala


Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

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When DH and I hosted my Aunt and Uncle's 50th anniversay party, (55 people) the tip for the entire wait staff was included in the price. However, the service was SOOO exemplary that I included an extra $200 check in my "thank you" letter to the manager. The letter was posted on the employees' bulletin board, and I received thank you letters from each of the wait staff. And when DH took me back there for my birthday (3 months later), the waiters came up to give me hugs, so I know they got the extra money.

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huskerbb


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Momala wrote:

When DH and I hosted my Aunt and Uncle's 50th anniversay party, (55 people) the tip for the entire wait staff was included in the price. However, the service was SOOO exemplary that I included an extra $200 check in my "thank you" letter to the manager. The letter was posted on the employees' bulletin board, and I received thank you letters from each of the wait staff. And when DH took me back there for my birthday (3 months later), the waiters came up to give me hugs, so I know they got the extra money.

That was nice. 

 

 



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Momala


Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

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I think the fact that I pre-ordered a regular plate for both the Limo driver and the pianist had a lot to do with the wait staff's opinion of us!!!

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chef


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Two stories ...

I felt like getting out of the house and I wanted salad and pasta so I opted for Olive Garden. I wanted to read and it was a non-rush time so I wasn't taking up needed space. I told the server that I just want to enjoy my book and a good meal so please feel free to take it easy where I'm concerned. The server was perfect. She kept my water full and didn't interrupt my reading with checking up on me. I gave her a generous tip (over 50%) and told her how much I appreciated being able to just relax and read.

My cousin was visiting us when we lived in SoCal. There's a southern restaurant there named Johnny Reb's that does a special thing for your birthday. During conversation with the server, my cousin mentioned she was visiting from TX. During the meal, I told Cousin that she ought to plan a visit around her birthday because they do a special birthday thing. The server must've overheard me because she did the birthday thing at the end of the meal for my cousin. My cousin was so happy and I gave a 50% tip on top of the auto-grat as a thank you for doing the birthday thing.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I don't know.   The whole dripping sarcasm thing from the waitress doesn't exactly tug one's heart strings. There are other jobs you know. Every job has Schit to deal with.



-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Tuesday 13th of January 2015 06:54:56 AM

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flan327


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I could never be a waitress. I have seen far too many rude customers.

flan

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