TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Disinheriting children

FNW · Guru

My in-laws disinherited my husband back in the 1990's. SIL was going to give him some of MIL's estate out of the kindness of her heart, but recently, I suspect she has changed her mind.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

My younger brother got tons more than I did.

It's just money.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I've seen a rash of leaving everything to the step-kids and nothing to the natural born kids.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
I've seen a rash of leaving everything to the step-kids and nothing to the natural born kids.

WOW...

We don't have anything spelled out per se. We have Gs DD as the executor, each of the 4 kids get 25% of any money.

There are certain things that belong to each child and they all know what they are.

JPT · Senior Member

We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.

That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.

TrudyML · Guru

That is a cool story!

Ohfour · Hooker

Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.

That just pizzes me off... We have G's grandmothers piano. His daughter (the only one that actually plays piano) gets that. All the kids know this. Why keep something that you don't want that someone in the family (even extended) might get use and pleasure from? it says a lot about the wife AND her daughters...

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Ohfour wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.
That just pizzes me off... We have G's grandmothers piano. His daughter (the only one that actually plays piano) gets that. All the kids know this. Why keep something that you don't want that someone in the family (even extended) might get use and pleasure from? it says a lot about the wife AND her daughters...

Yes it does O4. Yes it does.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Ha! Confidently, just 2 minutes ago I sent an email to my lawyer with the last few details for mine.

Lindley · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.

I hope she would be decent enough to at least give your dh and his brothers family heirlooms that would mean nothing to her daughters.

voiceofreason · Guru

My daughters each got a copy of my will along with a phone call asking if there were any questions, comments or concerns. Of course the oldest will tell me everything is fine then bitch to her sisters about it but, I have given her every opportunity to discuss this with me.

Mr.VoR is a decent man. He will make sure my kids get everything from my side of the family as well as a fair amount of the assetts we share.

There won't be any surprises.

huskerbb · Guru

The dead need to remember (while they are still living, of course)--that it's not all about them, or even what they want.

What they do has lasting consequences. What do they want their legacy to be?

Treating siblings unevenly--and I don't mean giving one child such and such an heirloom and another child a less valued one, but REALLY unevenly--sets those kids up for years of conflict and heartache between them.

You can cry all you want about how that's not "right"--but it's a reality.

It would be better to just give it all to charity and then instead of being mad at each other--they'd just be mad at you.

I realize I grew up in a very close family--and a lot of that is attributed to my grandparents.

However, that doesn't happen by itself. Things like wills and inheritance can start a family down a long road of NOT being "close".

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lindley wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.
I hope she would be decent enough to at least give your dh and his brothers family heirlooms that would mean nothing to her daughters.

Lindley, I would hope so too. But it isn't very likely. She isn't that decent of a person, unfortunately, and her daughters are worse. They have already made a comment about how they will probably end up getting the bulk of FIL's savings and retirement since it will pass to their mom and then to them, and joked about how "funny" that was. FIL has been married to this woman for only 5 years, it isn't like she has been around for decades.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

huskerbb wrote:
The dead need to remember (while they are still living, of course)--that it's not all about them, or even what they want.

What they do has lasting consequences. What do they want their legacy to be?

Treating siblings unevenly--and I don't mean giving one child such and such an heirloom and another child a less valued one, but REALLY unevenly--sets those kids up for years of conflict and heartache between them.

You can cry all you want about how that's not "right"--but it's a reality.

It would be better to just give it all to charity and then instead of being mad at each other--they'd just be mad at you.

I realize I grew up in a very close family--and a lot of that is attributed to my grandparents.

However, that doesn't happen by itself. Things like wills and inheritance can start a family down a long road of NOT being "close".

I agree 100%. You are just setting your children up for failure. If you haven't sorted the issues out while you are alive, when you are dead isn't the time to get in one last try.

huskerbb · Guru

Leaving crap to your step-kids RATHER THAN (not in addition to) your bio kids is probably mostly a way to get back at your ex in some fashion.

Sure, maybe your bio kids didn't visit enough, or whatever, but YOU set up the conditions for that to occur. They didn't ask you to divorce their other parent.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

huskerbb wrote:
Leaving crap to your step-kids RATHER THAN (not in addition to) your bio kids is probably mostly a way to get back at your ex in some fashion.

Sure, maybe your bio kids didn't visit enough, or whatever, but YOU set up the conditions for that to occur. They didn't ask you to divorce their other parent.

In our case, FIL would be leaving it to his wife, and she would leave it to her children upon her death. FIL will almost certainly die first - he is obese, has heart problems, etc. I think he thinks he is doing right by his wife to leave her everything, and that is ok. It's just that this man has never ever given a second thought to his children. He puts his wife first, no matter what, no matter how it hurts his kids.

He missed DD's Sweet 16 birthday party becaus his wife had decided to color Easter eggs with her grown daughters on that day and he didn't want to upset her by missing it. Seriously - her daughters are in their mid to late 20's. Wtf? Just an example of how he puts her first before his kids and grandkids.

huskerbb · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Leaving crap to your step-kids RATHER THAN (not in addition to) your bio kids is probably mostly a way to get back at your ex in some fashion.

Sure, maybe your bio kids didn't visit enough, or whatever, but YOU set up the conditions for that to occur. They didn't ask you to divorce their other parent.
In our case, FIL would be leaving it to his wife, and she would leave it to her children upon her death. FIL will almost certainly die first - he is obese, has heart problems, etc. I think he thinks he is doing right by his wife to leave her everything, and that is ok. It's just that this man has never ever given a second thought to his children. He puts his wife first, no matter what, no matter how it hurts his kids.

He missed DD's Sweet 16 birthday party becaus his wife had decided to color Easter eggs with her grown daughters on that day and he didn't want to upset her by missing it. Seriously - her daughters are in their mid to late 20's. Wtf? Just an example of how he puts her first before his kids and grandkids.

It's sad--but happens so, so often in cases of divorce.

FNW · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.

That's what my FIL did when he remarried a younger woman. MIL just left it to SIL and said if SIL didn't want it, she could give whatever was left to my husband, or donate, whatever she wanted to do.

FNW · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Leaving crap to your step-kids RATHER THAN (not in addition to) your bio kids is probably mostly a way to get back at your ex in some fashion.

Sure, maybe your bio kids didn't visit enough, or whatever, but YOU set up the conditions for that to occur. They didn't ask you to divorce their other parent.
In our case, FIL would be leaving it to his wife, and she would leave it to her children upon her death. FIL will almost certainly die first - he is obese, has heart problems, etc. I think he thinks he is doing right by his wife to leave her everything, and that is ok. It's just that this man has never ever given a second thought to his children. He puts his wife first, no matter what, no matter how it hurts his kids.

He missed DD's Sweet 16 birthday party becaus his wife had decided to color Easter eggs with her grown daughters on that day and he didn't want to upset her by missing it. Seriously - her daughters are in their mid to late 20's. Wtf? Just an example of how he puts her first before his kids and grandkids.

MM, I think we have the same FIL.

Scooby · Newbie

Lawyerlady wrote:

I have to say, in the last couple of years, I'm quite surprised by all the people who walk into my office to get a will to disinherit their children. And the reasons are so varied, some of them good, some of them just......

But THIS one we found in the records yesterday when looking at an old estate made me crack up in a horrified kind of way. I can't imagine the looks on thier faces as this was read.

"I will, give, and devise all by property both real and person to my daughter, Mary, in absolute fee simple."
"To my husband, my sister, and my other sons and daughters (I'm leaving out the 6 names), I LEAVE ALL MY LOVE." In CAPS, just like that.

And then she goes on to say if Mary predeceases her, she picks one of the other kids to get it all.

I wonder if she was trying to say that she didn't love Mary so was leaving her the worldly goods. Maybe she felt love was worth more? I don't know...just thinking out loud :)

We had a will probated in our office (I work in Probate Court) right before Christmas, December 23. Father was a multi-millionaire. Found out he had cancer at Thanksgiving and it took him very quickly. One son is an alcoholic and showed up to the hospital a few times drunk and trying to fight. Father rewrote will to exclude this son. FATHER WAS ALSO AN ALCOHOLIC! Other sons did not know about this until the probate right before Christmas. They were very upset and were afraid that alcoholic brother would kill himself. Dad also left the good sons "only" one million each and they were expecting more. Step-mom got the remainder of the estate. I wonder if they had a family Christmas? How awkward was that you reckon?

FNW · Guru

SIL said she promised MIL that she would "keep the family together" on her deathbed. Then MIL leaves SIL everything and rather than give my husband pieces he showed interest in, SIL gave them to the handy man, bank, MIL's friends. And now SIL's sad because she doesn't think she's keeping her promise. Uh....ok.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I dont know why people focus so much of things. I can see it if you re Warren Buffet or someone with a lot to divide.

But the average, everyday person has what? A house maybe. Debt and a few personal items.

If I were to leave all my worldly possessions to the kids that would consist of a car, my bedroom suit and a collection of paperbacks.

I have seen a family forever torn apart by greed. One sister's husband felt he was shafted and they broke into the dead father's house to see what they could find of value. Although the other sister and husband had actually lived with and cared for the aging parents for years without any help at all from the greedy sister.

They never spoke again.

Ohfour · Hooker

We have a lot of sentimental (some fairly expensive) items that the kids want. G has basses from the 60's that are worth 1000s of dollars. His kids get their pick of what they want and what they don't my kids get. My kids get my family heirlooms. Gs DD will get my engagement ring because it was designed using Gs grandmother's diamonds. My DD will get my anniversary band. They all know what they want and what they will be getting. What the don't want, they can sell and split the proceeds.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

My dad left everything to my mom when he died. My mom is splitting everything 50/50 between me & brother. That is if there is really anything of value to leave. I seriously doubt there will be much.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

lilyofcourse wrote:
I dont know why people focus so much of things. I can see it if you re Warren Buffet or someone with a lot to divide.

But the average, everyday person has what? A house maybe. Debt and a few personal items.

If I were to leave all my worldly possessions to the kids that would consist of a car, my bedroom suit and a collection of paperbacks.

I have seen a family forever torn apart by greed. One sister's husband felt he was shafted and they broke into the dead father's house to see what they could find of value. Although the other sister and husband had actually lived with and cared for the aging parents for years without any help at all from the greedy sister.

They never spoke again.

To me, the less you have, the more fighting there is. If there isn't any money, and all that'so left is stuff, people will fight over the stuff like idiots.

I am sad because of what it says about my FIL. He never cared and he never will. To me, that is sad and pathetic.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

FNW wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Leaving crap to your step-kids RATHER THAN (not in addition to) your bio kids is probably mostly a way to get back at your ex in some fashion.

Sure, maybe your bio kids didn't visit enough, or whatever, but YOU set up the conditions for that to occur. They didn't ask you to divorce their other parent.
In our case, FIL would be leaving it to his wife, and she would leave it to her children upon her death. FIL will almost certainly die first - he is obese, has heart problems, etc. I think he thinks he is doing right by his wife to leave her everything, and that is ok. It's just that this man has never ever given a second thought to his children. He puts his wife first, no matter what, no matter how it hurts his kids.

He missed DD's Sweet 16 birthday party becaus his wife had decided to color Easter eggs with her grown daughters on that day and he didn't want to upset her by missing it. Seriously - her daughters are in their mid to late 20's. Wtf? Just an example of how he puts her first before his kids and grandkids.
MM, I think we have the same FIL.

It is heartbreaking to think that there are 2 of them in the world. 😔

FNW · Guru

It is, Mellow Momma. Sadly, I'm sure there are more.

JPT · Senior Member

Mellow Momma wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.
That just pizzes me off... We have G's grandmothers piano. His daughter (the only one that actually plays piano) gets that. All the kids know this. Why keep something that you don't want that someone in the family (even extended) might get use and pleasure from? it says a lot about the wife AND her daughters...
Yes it does O4. Yes it does.

Have you asked FIL if you can have the piano now?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
We have a lot of sentimental (some fairly expensive) items that the kids want. G has basses from the 60's that are worth 1000s of dollars. His kids get their pick of what they want and what they don't my kids get. My kids get my family heirlooms. Gs DD will get my engagement ring because it was designed using Gs grandmother's diamonds. My DD will get my anniversary band. They all know what they want and what they will be getting. What the don't want, they can sell and split the proceeds.

Those are valuable items - I hope they are specifically spelled out in your will and you are not just relying on them all to get along and agree after you die.

TrudyML · Guru

I dread the day the QM (Queen mother) dies. Multiple houses, rude SIL who feels entitled, wacko will. So one SIL and myself will sneak in before it starts and take a few things. Everyone knows except Miss "My Children deserve much from their grandmother." Already took the silverware. This bully is so bad my brother never stands up to her.

This is the same SIL that tried to bully me by using my brothers email. That didn't go over well, either. Caught in a second. My brother is a one sentence guy. Was a riot when I busted her on that beauty.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

At ne time I was promised my mawmaw's jewelry collection when she goes. Of course I was about 16 and the only granddaughter at the time. I don't know what, if anything, I will get now. But it doesn't really matter.

The only thing I really want is the doll that sits on her bed. She has had it since she was a girl. I got to keep it and play with it for years. Then when I was through playing with it I gave it back.

She and I share a birthdate too. So no one can ever take that from me.

I have trinkets from my other grandparents. A hanky that belonged to one, couple pairs of earrings from another. Some wooden biscuit cutters. Little things like that.

I guess I am more of a sentimental kind of person.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

My parents gave me nothing in life and I expect and want nothing in their death.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

JPT wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.
That just pizzes me off... We have G's grandmothers piano. His daughter (the only one that actually plays piano) gets that. All the kids know this. Why keep something that you don't want that someone in the family (even extended) might get use and pleasure from? it says a lot about the wife AND her daughters...
Yes it does O4. Yes it does.
Have you asked FIL if you can have the piano now?

Yes. When FIL moved in with his new wife he was complaining about moving the piano. I casually offered to take it off his hands if he didnt want to move it. He said "oh no! I couldn't bear to give it up. It was my mother's and it's been in every house I have ever lived in!" I said that of course I understood, and that it also meant a lot to DH as it's the piano he learned to play on.

Now, his wife mentions every visit how wonderful it is to have a piano in the house. Even though she doesn't play and it is sorely out of tune.

Best part of the story...no one in the family plays the piano except my DH! So it's literally just taking up space. This past Christmas, they served appetizers on it. 😕

JPT · Senior Member

Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.
That just pizzes me off... We have G's grandmothers piano. His daughter (the only one that actually plays piano) gets that. All the kids know this. Why keep something that you don't want that someone in the family (even extended) might get use and pleasure from? it says a lot about the wife AND her daughters...
Yes it does O4. Yes it does.
Have you asked FIL if you can have the piano now?
Yes. When FIL moved in with his new wife he was complaining about moving the piano. I casually offered to take it off his hands if he didnt want to move it. He said "oh no! I couldn't bear to give it up. It was my mother's and it's been in every house I have ever lived in!" I said that of course I understood, and that it also meant a lot to DH as it's the piano he learned to play on.
Now, his wife mentions every visit how wonderful it is to have a piano in the house. Even though she doesn't play and it is sorely out of tune.
Best part of the story...no one in the family plays the piano except my DH! So it's literally just taking up space. This past Christmas, they served appetizers on it. 😕

Oh, so it's a "dog in the manger" situation...that sucks.

What is it about pianos? My DIL got totally bent about a baby grand that belonged to her grandmother (who is still living), and when it came time for her to move into assisted living, the AUNT swooped in and took the piano, even thought it had been promised to DIL. I can see the fire in her eyes whenever the subject comes up....

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

There's nothing like a funeral to bring out the worst in people. Fighting over petty crap is just disgusting.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

I saw a quote on another thread that says it all:

Some people will only "love you" as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop . . .

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There's nothing like a funeral to bring out the worst in people. Fighting over petty crap is just disgusting.

And I wish I knew why!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There's nothing like a funeral to bring out the worst in people. Fighting over petty crap is just disgusting.
And I wish I knew why!
flan

Because people are greedy that's why.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
JPT wrote:
We have found through ancestry.com that one of my forebears was either a slave or indentured to a physician in Philadelphia circa 1760's. When the physician died, he left my ancestor a house, property, a going clock making business and livestock (we take it was a horse), in addition to making him free (or released from indenture, again not clear). In his will, that same physician left his only brother a sum of 10 shillings.
That is an amazing story! How interesting.

I do not understand disinheritIna your children. Why wait until you are dead to say what you want? Is that the last impression you want to leave your children? If your kids thought there was favoritism and you prove there is by disinheriting one of them...

My husband and his brothers are effectively disinherited. My FIL married a woman in much better physical condition than he. She will outlive him for sure. His will leaves everything to her, her will leaves everything to her daughters. Looks like Grandma's piano will be headed to the step daughter's house or the scrap heap.
That just pizzes me off... We have G's grandmothers piano. His daughter (the only one that actually plays piano) gets that. All the kids know this. Why keep something that you don't want that someone in the family (even extended) might get use and pleasure from? it says a lot about the wife AND her daughters...
Yes it does O4. Yes it does.
Have you asked FIL if you can have the piano now?
Yes. When FIL moved in with his new wife he was complaining about moving the piano. I casually offered to take it off his hands if he didnt want to move it. He said "oh no! I couldn't bear to give it up. It was my mother's and it's been in every house I have ever lived in!" I said that of course I understood, and that it also meant a lot to DH as it's the piano he learned to play on.
Now, his wife mentions every visit how wonderful it is to have a piano in the house. Even though she doesn't play and it is sorely out of tune.
Best part of the story...no one in the family plays the piano except my DH! So it's literally just taking up space. This past Christmas, they served appetizers on it. 😕

Yeah, I don't get that. But, then again, I don't get the point of keeping things that really have no value or functionality to your life.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

You want to hear petty? The executor of one estate had to evict a niece from her mother's house because as she would try to sell it, the niece would sabotage every showing. When the niece left, she left a complete mess - her dogs had crapped on the carpet, trash everywhere, etc. so the executor had to paint the entire house, replace the carpet, etc. and their were a few cans of paint left over. One of the heirs actually called her and said "I know you took that extra paint - you have to pay the estate back for that."

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

LL - wow. There are no words.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

My father was an only child and his mother passed before I was born. My mother received all of my paternal grandmother's jewelry and still has it. The jewelry is something I keep an eye on as I think it should stay in the family and I want some of the rings. My mom refuses to part with them and I think it is so that she can give it to whomever my brother marries.

I would fight for this jewelry. It's amazing and needs to stay in the bloodline.

TrudyML · Guru

Family is cra-cra! Ugh! These stories!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

What hurt most after Mom died & we moved Dad back to Indy (& sold their house in KC)...going to my youngest brother's McMansion & seeing trash barrels filled with Mom's embroidery & other crafts.

SIL was behind it, I'm fairly sure.

And Mom's needlework was lovely.

flan

FNW · Guru

When I left my ex-husband, my friends, family, and some of my mother's friends banded together and helped me move. After all my belongings were moved into my new home and people started to leave, I started to cry. One of my mother's friends told me "even the strongest of oaks sometimes need to lose a branch to grow." I don't remember her face, but I remember her words.

Several years later she had cancer and was clearing out her most treasured belongings, to make sure they went to the people she intended. Herself without children, she left her jewelry to me. Some beautiful pieces, but not particularly in style. Still, I have held on to them for over 20 years because they mean more to me than just bling. Now they are in style, and I wear them, remembering her words and touched that she thought so much of me to want me to have them at the time of her death.

It's sad that some people don't realize the impact their selfishness (or generosity) will have on those they leave behind.

Lindley · Guru

My grandmother made quilts for each of her kids before she died and after she died her dil and all her sisters went thru her house during her funeral and took them all.

Renegade Time Lord · Am I A Good Man?

I do not have any family, so there is nobody to disinherit me (although if I did have any family, I would be the black sheep anyway).

My life insurance and retirement monies will be split 50/50 between my god niece and nephew, who are currently in their 20s. They are good kids and have their heads on straight. And they actually appreciate me as a person and enjoy my company. They are a joy to visit and hang with and it is unfortunate they live thousands of miles away.

I have a friend who will take my collection of action figures.

After that, there is nothing left of value, as I don't own any property, vehicles, etc. So it is rather simple.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lindley wrote:
My grandmother made quilts for each of her kids before she died and after she died her dil and all her sisters went thru her house during her funeral and took them all.

That is disgusting. Karma will get them.

My husbands grandmother used to tell every one of her children about the trust funds she had set up for all the grandchildren. She was a thrifty and so everyone believed her. She held those trust funds over their heads for years. If you didn't visit her, she would tell you she was going to quit paying into your kids' trust fund. Yeah she was a gem. When my DD was born, DH's aunts and uncles were upset that Grandma was going to put monew into a fund for her in a higher initial deposit than what their kids got. It was ridiculous. They were mad that DD would have more at age 18 than their kids (who were older than 18 by that time anyway). It caused a huge rift.

When Grandma died...you got it...no trust funds. She had been lying all those years. Yeah, we don't really miss her a whole bunch.

This is a different grandmother than the piano belonged to Fyi.