TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Hubby has Lung Cancer and Won't Quit Smoking

ed11563 · Guru

She can try to make him stop, maybe by saying "Goodbye, I loved you when you were alive" every day,

or she can make sure his live insurance policy is paid for, and just accept that he does understand that he will be dead soon.

Ohfour · Hooker

I think the government should step in, hospitalize him, tie him down, and FORCE him to quit smoking...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
I think the government should step in, hospitalize him, tie him down, and FORCE him to quit smoking...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Now that sounds like a plan.

People don't stop anything until they want to.

Wife needs to get off his back and leave him alone. There really isn't anything she can do about it.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

My still smoked as she died from lung cancer. If you are going to die anyway, why not enjoy life?

TrudyML · Guru

Exactly. Dying anyway. Let him smoke.

Ohfour · Hooker

My ex-husband great grandmother was placed in a nursing home after she became unable to take care of herself. She was 98. One day, when we were visiting, she grabbed my hand and pulled me down to her. She BEGGED me for a Reece's cup. I asked the nurse about it and was shocked that I would even consider giving her candy. She was diabetic and couldn't have candy, she said!!!!!

The woman was 98 and not going to live much longer. And really, one Reece's cup wasn't going to kill her. I went to the market and bought her her candy. And every time I visited her after that, I bought Reece's cups. She lived another 3 months or so.

That was her only enjoyment at that time of her life.

TrudyML · Guru

Yeah, I agree. My MIL smoked, quit, got cancer and guess what? Picked up the smokes. I laughed.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Ohfour wrote:
My ex-husband great grandmother was placed in a nursing home after she became unable to take care of herself. She was 98. One day, when we were visiting, she grabbed my hand and pulled me down to her. She BEGGED me for a Reece's cup. I asked the nurse about it and was shocked that I would even consider giving her candy. She was diabetic and couldn't have candy, she said!!!!!

The woman was 98 and not going to live much longer. And really, one Reece's cup wasn't going to kill her. I went to the market and bought her her candy. And every time I visited her after that, I bought Reece's cups. She lived another 3 months or so.

That was her only enjoyment at that time of her life.

I have a similar story. My grandfather was dying of kidney failure and was in the hospital on dialysis. He wasn't allowed to eat bananas (his favorite food) because of the potassium. All he could talk about was how badly he wanted a banana. Well my dad went out and bought one and brought it to him. Grandpa looked at my dad and said "but the doctor said it wasn't good for me!" My dad sat down, held his hand and said "eat the banana". He lived another month and it wasnt the bananas that killed him!

TrudyML · Guru

Brothers MIL! I'm not married!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

My pawpaw quit smoking about 4 years before he died. He had no idea he had cancer.

karl271 · Guru

OhFours comment just goes to show why I think so little of nursing homes. No common sense. One Reese's cup for a 98 year old?? Luckily, my mother's nursing home said - if she wants it (Hershey bar) let her have one.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Not all nursing homes are like that. Unfortunately it's a reaction to diabetics who are going to live for years and years and years living off the government teat while eating themselves into oblivion and subsequently getting everything amputated bit by bit by bit on the taxpayers dime. If you have diabetes or lung cancer or something like this and want to totally over indulge to the point that you are doing yourself harm then so be it. Go right ahead. But don't expect the taxpayers to carry you for the next 25 years while you slowly kill yourself. That being said I'm talking about people in their 40's and 50's that are going to live a long long long time. They're already on assistance and they're doing everything they can to thwart treatment. Once you're in you're 80's and 90's who gives a hoot. You're not going to last much longer anyway. Enjoy an occasional treat. Have a candy bar, banana, or piece of fried chicken. Enjoy your life while you have it.

sweet tooth · Member

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Not all nursing homes are like that. Unfortunately it's a reaction to diabetics who are going to live for years and years and years living off the government teat while eating themselves into oblivion and subsequently getting everything amputated bit by bit by bit on the taxpayers dime. If you have diabetes or lung cancer or something like this and want to totally over indulge to the point that you are doing yourself harm then so be it. Go right ahead. But don't expect the taxpayers to carry you for the next 25 years while you slowly kill yourself. That being said I'm talking about people in their 40's and 50's that are going to live a long long long time. They're already on assistance and they're doing everything they can to thwart treatment. Once you're in you're 80's and 90's who gives a hoot. You're not going to last much longer anyway. Enjoy an occasional treat. Have a candy bar, banana, or piece of fried chicken. Enjoy your life while you have it.

agree 100%.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Not all nursing homes are like that. Unfortunately it's a reaction to diabetics who are going to live for years and years and years living off the government teat while eating themselves into oblivion and subsequently getting everything amputated bit by bit by bit on the taxpayers dime. If you have diabetes or lung cancer or something like this and want to totally over indulge to the point that you are doing yourself harm then so be it. Go right ahead. But don't expect the taxpayers to carry you for the next 25 years while you slowly kill yourself. That being said I'm talking about people in their 40's and 50's that are going to live a long long long time. They're already on assistance and they're doing everything they can to thwart treatment. Once you're in you're 80's and 90's who gives a hoot. You're not going to last much longer anyway. Enjoy an occasional treat. Have a candy bar, banana, or piece of fried chicken. Enjoy your life while you have it.

Yep. We see them in surgery all the time. 400 plus pounds, 40 years old with a long list of health issues due to poor choices. It's so sad.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

One of my favorite wheel-chair square dancers had, among other things, high cholesterol. The one food she missed the most was shrimp chow mein. During one of her hospitalizations, I found that the nurses were having a hard time getting her to eat. "I bet I can get her to eat! I'm going down the street to the Chinese restaurant!" Sure enough, she ate the entire portion of shrimp chow mein, including the supposedly high cholesterol shrimps! Better to eat than submit to all the restrictions. BTW she was 98 at the time!

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

TrudyML wrote:
Brothers MIL! I'm not married!

Smart girl! biggrin

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Momala wrote:
One of my favorite wheel-chair square dancers had, among other things, high cholesterol. The one food she missed the most was shrimp chow mein. During one of her hospitalizations, I found that the nurses were having a hard time getting her to eat. "I bet I can get her to eat! I'm going down the street to the Chinese restaurant!" Sure enough, she ate the entire portion of shrimp chow mein, including the supposedly high cholesterol shrimps! Better to eat than submit to all the restrictions. BTW she was 98 at the time!

I bet it was the favorite meal of her entire life! At least felt that way. And the cholesterol in shrimp isn't the bad stuff.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Once, I worked with this sweet little old man. OMG he was so adorable. He was almost 90. He was confused and fell a lot. His family bought him a helmet because he fell so much. But he was so sweet. He was always in a good mood and he would kiss us all on the cheek. He constantly talked about "the old days" where he had women, whiskey, and cigars. When he turned 90 his family talked to the doctor and the facility and got everything worked out. They hired a belly dancer and she came in and danced for everyone for about an hour. She was very talented. Then they took him outside to the picnic table, poured him a glass of whiskey, lit him a cigar and let him have at it. He was a happy man.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Some lung cancers are pretty much a death sentence so why quit smoking at that point? And, the LW needs to realize, that only person she can control is herself. She cannot control him nor is she responsible for his choices in life.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Once, I worked with this sweet little old man. OMG he was so adorable. He was almost 90. He was confused and fell a lot. His family bought him a helmet because he fell so much. But he was so sweet. He was always in a good mood and he would kiss us all on the cheek. He constantly talked about "the old days" where he had women, whiskey, and cigars. When he turned 90 his family talked to the doctor and the facility and got everything worked out. They hired a belly dancer and she came in and danced for everyone for about an hour. She was very talented. Then they took him outside to the picnic table, poured him a glass of whiskey, lit him a cigar and let him have at it. He was a happy man.

Now THAT is amazing!

I am wondering if the OP has a decent prognosis since one lung was removed? Have they told him he is clear of cancer as long as he quits? If they have told him he has 5-10 years max, then go for it and smoke up. But if the prognosis is better than that, I can see why the wife would be upset. Don't do something to actively HURT your chances of a long life. Try and stick around!