TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Miss Manners: I am Pregnant. Can I Ask to take a Man's Seat?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I find it sad she would have to ASK.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, even if she does, I am sure there are a lot of men now that will say No. You want equality now tough it out.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Well, even if she does, I am sure there are a lot of men now that will say No. You want equality now tough it out.

There is nothing equal about pregnancy until men have to start carrying babies and pushing them out their hoo hah.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I didn't say I agreed. Just saying what some man might say, lol.

huskerbb · Guru

What planet do you live on LL???? People just don't do things like that, anymore. I'm not saying that's right, or that I wouldn't do it--but it's rare.

She would probably not only have to ask--but I bet she'd have to ask at least three or four before she'd find one that would get up. Depends a little bit on age. Guys over 60, most might do it. Guys my age down to about mid-thirties--probably half or a little more. Young guys--one in ten.

ed11563 · Guru

If she says, loud enough for people to hear, "I'm feeling dizzy, would someone let me sit down ... "

I'd hope that someone would not only get up, but take her by the shoulders and help her to the seat.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
What planet do you live on LL???? People just don't do things like that, anymore. I'm not saying that's right, or that I wouldn't do it--but it's rare.

She would probably not only have to ask--but I bet she'd have to ask at least three or four before she'd find one that would get up. Depends a little bit on age. Guys over 60, most might do it. Guys my age down to about mid-thirties--probably half or a little more. Young guys--one in ten.

And that is truly sad.

NAOW · Vette's SS

At least where I live, while I was pregnant, men and women both would offer me their seats. I dont think there was a single time I had to even think about asking. Most of the time they would get up before finding out if I actually wanted/needed to sit lol. Even if I didn't want a chair, I would have felt rude if I didn't take their seat since they stood up for me.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

huskerbb wrote:
What planet do you live on LL???? People just don't do things like that, anymore. I'm not saying that's right, or that I wouldn't do it--but it's rare.

She would probably not only have to ask--but I bet she'd have to ask at least three or four before she'd find one that would get up. Depends a little bit on age. Guys over 60, most might do it. Guys my age down to about mid-thirties--probably half or a little more. Young guys--one in ten.

Where I live, this is totally incorrect. I have men trying to give ME their seat on the subway/bus/train and I'm neither handicapped nor pregnant. Age is irrelevent.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Around here men usually get up for women to take their seat regardless of being pregnant or not.

I don't know if asking is rude. I do know that if you ask the hostess, most of the time she will find you a seat.

Do women get dizzy when pregnant? I don't remember that. I do remember being off balance late in the pregnancy but because all the weight was front and center. And not being able to see your feet.

Renegade Time Lord · Am I A Good Man?

I would most certainly offer my seat to a pregnant woman, without her asking. And in my experience, if the person does not need the seat, they will usually say something like, "Thanks, but I'm okay." (or something similar) or indicate "No" with hand gestures or a shake of the head.

In general, wherever I go, I always observe people. If it appears to me that someone (male or female) is having a difficult time standing, I will always offer my seat. I do the same thing on the metro bus. If I see a pregnant woman, someone carrying a baby, an elderly person, or someone laden down with packages, I will offer them my seat. It's just what I do. I don't ask myself whether I should offer my seat or not, I just do it. My age has nothing to do with it.

TrudyML · Guru

I help load strollers on the bus, have held babies, offer my seat. You need to be kind in this world.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I can't imagine any of the men I know not offering their seat to a pregnant woman.

ed11563 · Guru

One time when I was giving my seat to an elderly lady, when I got up a teenage boy shoved past me and took the seat.

I told him I was giving my seat to this lady, he told me to go F- myself.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, and if some man offered her a seat, then she would be writing about how OFFENDED she is that some man doesn't think she can stand blah, blah.

FNW · Guru

I have noticed that most younger men, in their 30's and younger, are without gentlemen manners. I blame their upbringing. Maybe their mother was a woman's libber who refused to allow a man to help her, or maybe they had an uncultured father, or whatever. This goes with holding the door open for a woman, letting a woman board an elevator or enter a room first, and even giving up their seat to the elderly, infirm, or pregnant. I see this when I am out and about, and in my own office building. I also notice that more men, even the younger ones, seem to remember their gentlemen manners more when I wear a dress.

It might be out of vogue to instill manners, but I began teaching my boys to be gentlemenly and open the door for me, etc. I want them to be the exception. I hope someday some woman will appreciate my efforts.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I agree FNW. The younger set just doesn't have the gallantry of their predecessors. Sad really.

And the young ladies don't know how to accept when they do happen to come across it.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

Because I use a cane, I was invariably offered a seat on the crowded commuter bus and/or train on my way to work. I was SOOO grateful! And it frequently was a young woman who offered her seat. All I could do was say "thank you!" and give them a brilliant smile. :)

FNW · Guru

That's refreshing to hear, momala. I remember when I was pregnant and huge, most people would just pretend they didn't see me.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I think offering a seat, and holding a door are good manners - and should be offered to anyone regardless of gender. My girls open doors for people all the time. It's just polite.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I got yelled at once when I was about 24 by a girl for not giving up my seat to an older woman. She was not elderly, she was maybe 60, and there were a bunch of men on the bus, too. I wasn't even paying attention and this girl actually got snitty with me and told me I should give my seat to my elders. I was quite taken aback as the lady didn't look that old, and there were multiple men still sitting - why did she get snitty with ME?

Ohfour · Hooker

Mellow Momma wrote:
I think offering a seat, and holding a door are good manners - and should be offered to anyone regardless of gender. My girls open doors for people all the time. It's just polite.

THIS! If someone is close to a door that I am going through, I always hold it and let them pass. Most men refuse and hold the door for me, but I care of its age or gender. it's just polite....

ed11563 · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
I got yelled at once when I was about 24 by a girl for not giving up my seat to an older woman. She was not elderly, she was maybe 60, and there were a bunch of men on the bus, too. I wasn't even paying attention and this girl actually got snitty with me and told me I should give my seat to my elders. I was quite taken aback as the lady didn't look that old, and there were multiple men still sitting - why did she get snitty with ME?

She thought she could get away with bullying you.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Why are men asked to give up their seats? Woman should as well when someone obviously needs it. I do it whenever I am in that position. Men hold doors for me all the time, not just me but anyone else close to the door. I do it for others as well. Maybe its a geographical thing.

FNW · Guru

I think everyone should hold the door open for the next person, but a man should hold it and let the woman go through first. That's the way I was taught. And open the car door for a woman, regardless of whether they are on a date or it's just co-workers going to lunch. But I come from a family of gentlemen. Even my man cousins will ask if we want anything brought back when they go up to the buffet at family parties.

-- Edited by FNW on Tuesday 20th of January 2015 04:51:35 PM

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

huskerbb wrote:
What planet do you live on LL???? People just don't do things like that, anymore. I'm not saying that's right, or that I wouldn't do it--but it's rare.

She would probably not only have to ask--but I bet she'd have to ask at least three or four before she'd find one that would get up. Depends a little bit on age. Guys over 60, most might do it. Guys my age down to about mid-thirties--probably half or a little more. Young guys--one in ten.

What planet do YOU live on? Geez. My BF is a ditz, and wouldn't notice a pregnant woman unless she fell on him, but if she asked for his seat of course he would give it up. My other male housemates would in a heartbeat as well, Lotter would probably notice and insist on it, WMOtU may not offer, as he is very quiet, but if he noticed distress or the lady asked, of course he would.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

FNW wrote:
I think everyone should hold the door open for the next person, but a man should hold it and let the woman go through first. That's the way I was taught. And open the car door for a woman, regardless of whether they are on a date or it's just co-workers going to lunch. But I come from a family of gentlemen. Even my man cousins will ask if we want anything brought back when they go up to the buffet at family parties.

-- Edited by FNW on Tuesday 20th of January 2015 04:51:35 PM

Again...things like asking if anyone wants anything before heading back up to the buffet...it's just good manners and gender really isn't a factor. My girls would do this as well, to be polite!

DD cleared the table at snack time in preschool. Her teachers were all amazed that she took her own plate and napkin to the trash. I thought that was a horrible reflection on the other parents actually.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Do women want to be equal or not?

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

VetteGirl wrote:
Do women want to be equal or not?

I want to be special!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

VetteGirl wrote:
Do women want to be equal or not?

That has nothing to do with it. Pregnancy can be physically draining and exhausting. It is simply polite to give your seat to someone who obviously needs it more.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I'd give up my seat for a disabled man as well as a pregnant woman.

Renegade Time Lord · Am I A Good Man?

ed11563 wrote:
One time when I was giving my seat to an elderly lady, when I got up a teenage boy shoved past me and took the seat.
I told him I was giving my seat to this lady, he told me to go F- myself.

Teens can be quite rude and obnoxious. On the metro bus I ride, they all like to sit at the back if there is room, talk trash and swear (like every few words is the "F" word). If the back is full, they sit at the front in the seats marked for elderly and disabled and do not move.

If I offered my seat to an elderly lady and some teen took it and told me to go F myself, I would have physically removed him from the seat myself, admonished him in a low voice, and made sure the lady got the seat. I would do it because I can, and have actually done similar acts in the past, without issue from the bus driver or anyone else. Most of the time there was stunned silence. But sometimes people applauded! biggrin

Tangerine · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
VetteGirl wrote:
Do women want to be equal or not?
I want to be special!

Me, too!

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Okay a man gets done with his workout and is exhausted and his muscles ache, and a women is pregnant and tired and sore and they both get on a bus with only one seat left.

Who gets the seat? Rock paper scissors?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I would think the woman. The man is just tired from working out. The woman, according to many on this board, has a parasite inside her sucking her life out of her. I would think that would take precedence.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I've been pregnant and I've been completely exhausted from a workout, pregnancy wins the seat.

ed11563 · Guru

Renegade Time Lord wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
One time when I was giving my seat to an elderly lady, when I got up a teenage boy shoved past me and took the seat.
I told him I was giving my seat to this lady, he told me to go F- myself.

Teens can be quite rude and obnoxious. On the metro bus I ride, they all like to sit at the back if there is room, talk trash and swear (like every few words is the "F" word). If the back is full, they sit at the front in the seats marked for elderly and disabled and do not move.
If I offered my seat to an elderly lady and some teen took it and told me to go F myself, I would have physically removed him from the seat myself, admonished him in a low voice, and made sure the lady got the seat. I would do it because I can, and have actually done similar acts in the past, without issue from the bus driver or anyone else. Most of the time there was stunned silence. But sometimes people applauded!

This was in a New York City subway car, where a significant number of teenage boys/men are armed.

And I'm not a particularly powerful guy.