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Vette


Owl drink to that!

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I work in a profession where we have to have our own tools. My brother and my dad and I all work in the same building. Well, I was gone for a year, my brother started there and now I'm coming back, so that's the summary, we will all be together.

Yesterday I was talking to him about my first week back (starting tomorrow), and he said something like "I'm so glad you're coming back, now I don't have to borrow dad's tools anymore I can borrow yours."

Um, what? He has been working there for over a year and he hasn't bought his own tools yet? And yes I asked him this and he went on this BIG tirade about how why should he buy his own if he can just borrow from other people, he's 30 years old and would rather spend his money having fun than spending it on tools, etc. etc.

That just pisses me off because I've worked hard for my tools, I've given up "fun" time to have them and not so my brother can mooch off me because he doesn't want to be responsible. He even went so far as to tell me I "better" make an extra key for my toolbox so he can borrow when I'm not around!

I am NOT okay with any of this, it's one thing to loan your things here and there to help someone out but on a regular basis just because he's lazy and selfish? I know there would be many times when I need MY OWN tool and he's using it and then I have to wait.

Ugh. Just venting. Now he's butthurt at me, acting all childish like "fine, I won't borrow your tools" and pouting like a baby. I don't want to fight with him but I don't want him mooching.



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JPT


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Why, instead of a key, make up a comprehensive list of your tools, and a "rental rate" per hour for each tool.

Really, I know he's your brother, but HE is being a tool...

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Vette


Owl drink to that!

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JPT wrote:

Why, instead of a key, make up a comprehensive list of your tools, and a "rental rate" per hour for each tool.

Really, I know he's your brother, but HE is being a tool...

 Thank you!

Why does he think he is so special, like he is the ONLY one who would rather spend his money on fun stuff than tools? I'm pretty sure everybody would!



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Tignanello


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Let him have his temper tantrum. Your tools are expensive and he doesn't seem to get it. I wouldn't trust him with them . . .

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flan327


Itty bitty's Grammy

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Tignanello wrote:

Let him have his temper tantrum. Your tools are expensive and he doesn't seem to get it. I wouldn't trust him with them . . .

 Yeah, when someone is having a temper tantrum, they want attention. Ignoring them is best!

flan



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just Czech


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He's 30 years old? Grow up bro.
Keep your key, he will get over it. And maybe, just maybe, he will buy his own set of tools.
Gosh, sorry you have to put up with that behavior.
Why hasn't your dad made him buy his own set of tools?

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Vette


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LOL...I feel like I am also having a temper tantrum over this whole thing :p

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Vette


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Gotta love siblings, they always bring out the bestevileye



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flan327


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VetteGirl wrote:

LOL...I feel like I am also having a temper tantrum over this whole thing :p

 No, definitely not...just venting!

flan



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Vette


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just Czech wrote:

He's 30 years old? Grow up bro.
Keep your key, he will get over it. And maybe, just maybe, he will buy his own set of tools.
Gosh, sorry you have to put up with that behavior.
Why hasn't your dad made him buy his own set of tools?

 I really don't know, I'm surprised that my dad would let him borrow for so long. I know when I first started I didn't borrow long before I bought my own, but then, he didn't make me stop I just took my own initiative. My brother always rides coattails whenever he can.



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NAOW


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That would annoy me too. I like JPTs advice. Or if an hourly rental is too much work, make him give you a fee at the beginning of every week if he wants to use them that week.

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Vette


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NAOW wrote:

That would annoy me too. I like JPTs advice. Or if an hourly rental is too much work, make him give you a fee at the beginning of every week if he wants to use them that week.

 That is good, or to make it more lighthearted but still serious, tell him whenever he wants to borrow he can buy me lunch 

 

I'll take free lunch!



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Mellow Momma


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I wouldn't let him borrow my tools. If he lost one, what are the chances he would be mature enough to replace it?

I think you are 100% correct in your frustration. If he wants this job, he needs to be prepared for all that comes with it.

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Blankie


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JPT wrote:

Why, instead of a key, make up a comprehensive list of your tools, and a "rental rate" per hour for each tool.

Really, I know he's your brother, but HE is being a tool...

 This. Sounds like he has a lot to learn.

Time to let him start learning about what it means to be a grownup.

And if he buys his own stuff, he's more likely to take care of it better since it was an investment for him.



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Just say No, you are NOT borrowing my Tools, period. And, what he does or doesn't do after that is his problem to figure out, not yours.

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Southern_Belle


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I'd be irritated too. What would he do if you or your father weren't there?

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Domestic Engineer


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VetteGirl wrote:
just Czech wrote:

He's 30 years old? Grow up bro.
Keep your key, he will get over it. And maybe, just maybe, he will buy his own set of tools.
Gosh, sorry you have to put up with that behavior.
Why hasn't your dad made him buy his own set of tools?

 I really don't know, I'm surprised that my dad would let him borrow for so long. I know when I first started I didn't borrow long before I bought my own, but then, he didn't make me stop I just took my own initiative. My brother always rides coattails whenever he can.

 It's time someone loved him enough to shove  him off the coattails.  You can be the one to give him the much over-due shove.



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Vette, just laugh at him and say something along the lines such as "you are how old? And worked here how long? And still need to borrow tools? Just WOW" and walk away. Siblings can get away with being offensive to point out the huge flaws in the lives of their family. Coming from you will go a long way for him.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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It sounds like you're a very loving family who doesn't mind sharing. Obviously your dad doesn't have a problem with him sharing tools. I don't think I'd rock the boat and upset the family dynamics over tools. Sometimes it's just not worth it.

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

It sounds like you're a very loving family who doesn't mind sharing. Obviously your dad doesn't have a problem with him sharing tools. I don't think I'd rock the boat and upset the family dynamics over tools. Sometimes it's just not worth it.

 Tools are very expensive.  A 30YO needs to take care of his own life, not his sister.  Don't teach him now and he will always be a leech.



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lilyofcourse


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At least he had the "manners" to "ask" first.

My brother just takes what he wants.

And never returns anything.

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ed11563


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I think the tool supply people will sell tools with a payment plan, to help new mechanics get started.

How much do you think the set of tools he needs would cost?

Where do the mechanics there buy their tools? Does a truck come by periodically?

 

You have to be perfectly clear that you paid for your own tools, you don't lend them because of the risk they would be damaged or lost,

and if anyone just helps themselves, you would have to call the police to report the theft.

 

Are your tools insured? (Are anyone's tools insured?)

 

Are your tools marked in some way so you can easily identify them? Engraved? Marked with colored tape?

 



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Pink tools?



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Vette


Owl drink to that!

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@Ed, there are plenty of avenues to buy tools for employees, he just finds it to be a waste of money so he won't buy them. That attitude is what makes me not feel sorry for him at all, if he really needed help it would be one thing.

Not pink but they are marked! :)

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Blankie


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

It sounds like you're a very loving family who doesn't mind sharing. Obviously your dad doesn't have a problem with him sharing tools. I don't think I'd rock the boat and upset the family dynamics over tools. Sometimes it's just not worth it.

But that's not how it goes in the trades. I don't know about airplane mechanics, but in the building trades you have to learn to respect other people's tools.

DH and DS have both worked in the trades for years, and you don't mess with someone else's tools. He needs to learn that code.

DH is the gentlest soul imaginable, but I will hear about it if I put a tool back in the wrong place in his bin or satchel. 



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