TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Prudie: Estranged Daughter

Bonny22Pye · Guru

His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.

confuse There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

He should have never let her drive his wife's car. Or attend anything they couldn't afford without his wife kicking some money in. If he isn't leagaly obligated to pay her full tuition he needs to cut her off.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.

Yes, there is.

Any suggestions as to how to reconnect with her and how to gently remind her and her mother, who has encouraged my daughter in this behavior, that it is Mom’s turn to pay for college?

It sounds like the Mom, poisoned the daughter. JMHO.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.

Excellent point, LL.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Not "liking" something does not entitle you in life to act like a spoiled little baby. So, she didn't "like" the new wife. Too darn bad. Ok, maybe you put up with it a first, but after time passes, no. She either learns to act respectful and accept her presence or you don't give her everything she wants.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Yep cut her off. Let her find out for herself who is on her side. She is an entitled jerk.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Yep, unless the new wife treats her badly she needs to grow up. Not liking dad's new wife isn't reason enough to be a spoiled brat. And it sounds like they already have an agreement on college. I don't see why he has to go back to a lawyer. DH's divorce decree reads the same. He has to pay 50% of college if his son chooses to go. They can split it any way they choose. Sounds like he chose to pay for the first two years. No reason to "negotiate" anything.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.
Yes, there is.
Any suggestions as to how to reconnect with her and how to gently remind her and her mother, who has encouraged my daughter in this behavior, that it is Mom’s turn to pay for college?
It sounds like the Mom, poisoned the daughter. JMHO.

Ahhh, missed that. Sorry.

Well, I don't know the "gently" should be a factor. He paid 2 years - it is mom's turn, end of discussion. You know, some people actually have to pay for their college themselves. Shocking, I know.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.
Yes, there is.
Any suggestions as to how to reconnect with her and how to gently remind her and her mother, who has encouraged my daughter in this behavior, that it is Mom’s turn to pay for college?
It sounds like the Mom, poisoned the daughter. JMHO.
Ahhh, missed that. Sorry.

Well, I don't know the "gently" should be a factor. He paid 2 years - it is mom's turn, end of discussion. You know, some people actually have to pay for their college themselves. Shocking, I know.

Yeah, this is how the talk should go. "According to the divorce I was responsible for two years of college. I have fulfilled that obligation. I will forward all bills to you from now on."

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Since every one involved are adults. Talk to each other like adults.

Tell daughter it is time for her to step up and take care of herself. If she wants the benefits of being his daughter, then stop taking advantage of him.

I know my parents would not put up with that kind of behavior.

At this point, it no longer matters what the mom did or didn't do. Daughter is an adult. Stop being a brat.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Thing is, dad created this monster. He didn't put his foot down when this started. All he's done for 5 years is feed the behavior. He can't expect it to change now. It will get worse when he cuts off college money.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Yes. It can change. And he is the only one to change it.

It wont be easy. But if it doesn't change now, it never will.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Southern_Belle wrote:
Thing is, dad created this monster. He didn't put his foot down when this started. All he's done for 5 years is feed the behavior. He can't expect it to change now. It will get worse when he cuts off college money.

Yep. Totally his fault. He can change it now but it's going to be a whole lot harder.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.
Yes, there is.
Any suggestions as to how to reconnect with her and how to gently remind her and her mother, who has encouraged my daughter in this behavior, that it is Mom’s turn to pay for college?
It sounds like the Mom, poisoned the daughter. JMHO.

That's the line I was picking up on. It sounds like the mother is encouraging bad behavior from his point of view.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Bonny22Pye wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.
Yes, there is.
Any suggestions as to how to reconnect with her and how to gently remind her and her mother, who has encouraged my daughter in this behavior, that it is Mom’s turn to pay for college?
It sounds like the Mom, poisoned the daughter. JMHO.
That's the line I was picking up on. It sounds like the mother is encouraging bad behavior from his point of view.

Well, the girl is an adult now, and dad has fed into this, too. Basically - they all sound like they deserve each other. Except the poor 2nd wife who let the bratty step-daughter drive her car even when she was being a brat.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
His ex wife sounds like a piece of work.
There is nothing in his letter about the ex-wife. Are you just assuming she is bad because the daughter is a spoiled little bitch? Personally, I think dad had a hand in this, too - he should have put his foot down 5 years ago when he remarried and not allowed her to disrespect his new wife.
Yes, there is.
Any suggestions as to how to reconnect with her and how to gently remind her and her mother, who has encouraged my daughter in this behavior, that it is Mom’s turn to pay for college?
It sounds like the Mom, poisoned the daughter. JMHO.
That's the line I was picking up on. It sounds like the mother is encouraging bad behavior from his point of view.
Well, the girl is an adult now, and dad has fed into this, too. Basically - they all sound like they deserve each other. Except the poor 2nd wife who let the bratty step-daughter drive her car even when she was being a brat.

Being a step parent is hard. You really have no control. She probably figured the car thing was not a hill worth dying on. Sometimes it really is the small things that cause a marriage the greatest strife.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

It's funny how she was willing to drive step mother's car but wouldn't talk to her or go anywhere she might be. Double standards. Little brat.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

The girl is a little spoiled bratty bitch. Who made her that way? Both her parents. They allowed that behavior. The father should have put a stop to it long ago. The mom sounds passive about it all at best and encouraging of it at worst. This girl is going to have a hard time in real life when she pouts and people don't do what she wants. I promise you she won't have very many, if any, friends.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

But I wouldn't have let the daughter drive my car either. I'm a bitch like that.