TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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This could also be part of the disease impacting the brain. It isn't uncommon for people with brain diseases to undergo personality changes. People with Alzheimers or other organic brain illnesses who were previously pleasant and wouldn't say a bad word then may change a cuss like a sailor. So, try to be understanding of that , that some of it may be beyond her control.

""A true friend is walking in when the rest of the world is walking out.""

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 This is so true!

Just be there to listen and lend a helping hand. The friend is going to need you until the end.

My sister died of brain cancer.

It's pretty basic, really. Brain cancer affects the brain. Which means mood, temperament, language, basically everything can be affected.

Just a tad surprising that the LW did not figure this out.

All I can say (sarcastically so) is just wait a while, LW. She may well lose her ability to speak, like my sister did four months after diagnosis. Then you won't have to listen to her tirades. Then maybe you might have a teensy bit of regret that you didn't appreciate her ability to speak while you had it.

My sister yelled and screamed at us, and wailed in pain, and sure it was hard to hear. But I'd give my eye-teeth now to hear just one more sentence from her, angry or not.

I sincerely hope this patient has someone more compassionate than this LW tending to her.

 

-- Edited by Blankie on Tuesday 17th of February 2015 11:41:08 AM

{{hugs to Blankie and LGS}}

flan

Some people just aren't good with death and dying. I learned that as a nurse. Some family members can deal with it and process it and others just can't. Same thing with nurses. Some nurses just hated taking care of the dying patients. It is what it is. Not everyone wants to work in L&D with screaming babies. Everyone has a niche. This lady just may not understand or be able to handle the dying process well. I tried to cut people slack if they didn't act "the right way". As long as they were respectful and didn't mistreat staff or others people should be allowed to deal with it in their own way.

It's hard to love someone and know they are reacting the way they are because of their illness. It hurts.

My pawpaw would become down right hostile. He was on some serious medication for pain and between it and the cancer on his brain, he became unrecognizable in how he treated people.

It really was hard for my mom and her brothers to deal with. They understood it wasn't him, but it was coming out of his mouth.

The only way to handle this kind of thing is taking breaks from it. Even if it is just for an hour.

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Some people just aren't good with death and dying. I learned that as a nurse. Some family members can deal with it and process it and others just can't. Same thing with nurses. Some nurses just hated taking care of the dying patients. It is what it is. Not everyone wants to work in L&D with screaming babies. Everyone has a niche. This lady just may not understand or be able to handle the dying process well. I tried to cut people slack if they didn't act "the right way". As long as they were respectful and didn't mistreat staff or others people should be allowed to deal with it in their own way.

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 Ok fine, but to write a letter to an advise column is over the top.  LW has issues.

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 As others have said if this lady has brain cancer that could very well be the reason the lady is angry.  I've seen so many really nice people in my life time turn hateful and angry.  It's the illness.  Sometimes others around them don't understand this.

I once took care of a really nice guy.  He fell and broke his hip.  He was never the same after that.  He spiraled downward and quickly.  He kept falling and hitting his head.  As he progressed he became more and more mean.  He also became a womanizer.  We had to watch very carefully when we took care of him because he would try to kiss us and grab our boobs.  His family was mortified and cried.  They kept telling me story after story of what a wonderful man he had been.  I told them not to worry.  I believed them.  It was just something that happened when the disease progressed.  I "nursed" that family far more than I did the patient.