TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Son Cut Us Off

FNW · Guru

Did he cut them off or is he just busy? It's been my experience that sons aren't as communicative and likely to keep in touch with their parents as much as daughters. They say a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he takes a wife.

That being said, if he did cut them off because of their refusal to fork out money, then that's just wrong, and I feel sorry for the family.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

The son is in his 50's! Wow, show a little respect man. I bet he is mad they refused to co-sign. What a dip to not have his finances in order at his age. SMH

Divine Geek · Guru

There obviously is more to this. If he is such a "hard worker" why does mom assume they will be making the payments? Shouldn't the son be paying his own loan?

ed11563 · Guru

Divine Geek wrote:
There obviously is more to this. If he is such a "hard worker" why does mom assume they will be making the payments? Shouldn't the son be paying his own loan?

I've read that 95% of people who co-sign for a loan, wind up making the payments. There are reasons why people need someone to co-sign.

And when the borrower misses ONE payment or is late with ONE payment, the lender can and will (1) call the loan, and (2) immediately go after the co-signer.

If someone asks you to co-sign for a loan, and you want to actually help them, then

* get the loan in your own name and buy whatever it is yourself, then lend or lease it to the one who asked you to co-sign. Then at least you will have an asset you can sell when the person screws up --- which most of them will.

If this guy is over 50, his parents are at least 70 and probably retired.

Clearly his self-employment isn't paying very well. Maybe he's self employed, because no one would hire him.

-- Edited by ed11563 on Tuesday 3rd of March 2015 10:15:57 AM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Asking for a loan from mommy and daddy when you are 50? Wow.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Asking for a loan from mommy and daddy when you are 50? Wow.

And then throwing a temper tantrum when they say "No?"

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

The sad thing is that I actually know people who act like petulant teenagers that are supposed to be adults.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
The sad thing is that I actually know people who act like petulant teenagers that are supposed to be adults.

Yeah, I think we all do!

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Most loans require a co-signer simply because the one applying doesn't have enough credit or collateral to get it themselves.

I don't think 50 is a big deal. We don't know what he has been doing. If he hasn't made payments on anything in a while or had anything in his name for what ever reason, he may not have any credit history and that is worse than having a bad credit history in a lot of cases.

So the being 50 doesn't even raise a red flag for me.

What does raise a red flag is the cutting off. I can see being busy but no contact for 3 years? That is an extreme reaction. I can see a couple months because of hurt feelings but 3 years?

I think I, as a mother, would want to know my child, no matter what their age, is ok. But I wouldn't push. the cards are not pushing. Mom is not going to stop worrying about her child. But really what else can she do? Nothing.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If you can't afford the loan without a cosigner, then you can't afford whatever you are buying. Big Red Flag.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

That is not necessarily true.

Credit history plays a huge part in securing a loan.

And if you don't have one, you cant get a loan.

I spent my life paying for things as I went. Not using credit. I have no credit history. I couldn't get a loan on my own if my life depended on it. But I always paid my bills and usually paid things off at the time of purchase.

I bought 3 cars. Only one on a loan. I needed a co signer because I had no credit.

Just one example.

Not everything is about lack of funds or ability to pay or make payments.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Oh baloney. I have paid cash for years. If you have cash and assets, you can get a loan.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't give a flying rip about my credit score. Never have.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

OK. You want to argue without regards to actual reasons and possible facts.

Have at it with someone else.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
OK. You want to argue without regards to actual reasons and possible facts.

Have at it with someone else.

I am arguing facts.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

People spend far too much time worrying about credit scores. They should spend more time planning sound financial practices. Like living within your means. I never worried one iota about my credit score. You don't need to take out a bunch of credit cards and run up a bunch of debt to "establish a credit score". If you live within your means and pay your bills on time and pay of any debts early, people will trip over themselves to give you loans and credit.

NAOW · Vette's SS

lilyofcourse wrote:
That is not necessarily true.

Credit history plays a huge part in securing a loan.

And if you don't have one, you cant get a loan.

I spent my life paying for things as I went. Not using credit. I have no credit history. I couldn't get a loan on my own if my life depended on it. But I always paid my bills and usually paid things off at the time of purchase.

I bought 3 cars. Only one on a loan. I needed a co signer because I had no credit.

Just one example.

Not everything is about lack of funds or ability to pay or make payments.

Just curious how you would have not paid something off at the time or purchase with out some kind of loan?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I didn't say that I don't use credit at times, I do. I paid off my student loan early. But, you don't have to run up a mountain of credit cards in order to be able to get a loan. If you have cash and assets, you can get a loan without some big credit history.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

You don't need a loan with some things. You set up payments.

All I am saying is, age has nothing really to do with it. Credit history does.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I wouldn't put my own finances on the line for a 50 year old who needs a co signer, especially on that big of a purchase. You can find all sorts of reasons that justify needing one, but the more likely reason is that he is bad with money.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If you need Mommy and Daddy to cosign at age 50, then you have a problem.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And if your name is not on something but you made the payments, you don't get the credit.

Credit history comes from more than credit cards.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

What would a 50 yr old need a loan FOR?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
And if your name is not on something but you made the payments, you don't get the credit.

Credit history comes from more than credit cards.

Soooo, go take out a credit card for $500 and then pay it back without interest and establish your credit. hmm

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Like maybe this guy was in a rental for his whole life but his room mate had their name on the lease. He made ll the payments but there is no record of it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Like maybe this guy was in a rental for his whole life but his room mate had their name on the lease. He made ll the payments but there is no record of it.

So what? And, that becomes Mommy and Daddy's problem now WHY?

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Like maybe this guy was in a rental for his whole life but his room mate had their name on the lease. He made ll the payments but there is no record of it.

Paying rent on an apartment, even if your name is on the lease, does not effect your credit score. It doesn't show up on your credit report at all unless you were evicted for nonpayment.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What would a 50 yr old need a loan FOR?

Buying a house, starting a business, I don't know. It doesn't say.

There are so many questions with these letters that no real answer can be had.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What would a 50 yr old need a loan FOR?
Buying a house, starting a business, I don't know. It doesn't say.
There are so many questions with these letters that no real answer can be had.

Then he isn't in the Financial position to do any of those things. So, he shouldn't be doing them.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I didn't buy a house, UNTIL I was in the financial position to do so. I had more than 20% to put down. Yeah, I know, Old School. I didn't start a business until I was in the financial position to do so and could survive without income for several months and fork over what I needed to get started. Too many people just don't want to be bothered to do the hard work of paying their dues and saving and being diligent and want someone else to do it for them.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
You don't need a loan with some things. You set up payments.

All I am saying is, age has nothing really to do with it. Credit history does.

If he is 50, and he needs a cosigner for a loan, then yes, there is something off.

flan

TrudyML · Guru

They should be happy mooch man went away.

Lindley · Guru

At 50 yrs old he should have some credit history. I don't blame his parents for not loaning him their money.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I co-signed one loan for each of my children...when they were not-yet 21.

One loan, and that was it.

flan

Lindley · Guru

My husbands parents co-signed a loan for my husband when he started our business. That was when he was 25 yrs old and of course we paid off the loan and his parents never had to put a cent in.

My kids already had great credit history when they bought their homes so they didn't need us to co-sign. I can see co-signing for your kids when they are starting out and young, but when your 50 and needing a co signature they may not have good credit history.

My bil was a hard worker but couldn't hold on to a single dime.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

The 50 something is a loser. If not, at his age he would not need a co signer. Seriously?

voiceofreason · Guru

I'll be 50 in 3 weeks and would need a co signer. I'm NOT a loser.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

A cosigner for what?

Lindley · Guru

VOR, I don't see you as a loser and sorry to generalize a person over 50 could be a loser for needing a co-signer.

A divorce for a stay at home mom, it could be a large loan beyond his credit score and other reasons why someone might need a co-signer.

voiceofreason · Guru

Thank you Lindley. There are many reasons a perfectly good person can have problematic credit.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I don't care why they said no, or why he needs it - they are not obligated to put their credit and finances on the line for a grown child. He is being an ass - and if he's going to cut his parents off over money, I hope they cut him out of the will.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

The fact that the parents are assuming that he won't make his payments is a huge red flag.

The payments would have run us out of money in three years.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

voiceofreason wrote:
Thank you Lindley. There are many reasons a perfectly good person can have problematic credit.

Yes, but it doesn't really matter WHY does it? The parents don't want to cosign. That should be the end of it.