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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: I Feel Pressured to Buy a House
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: I Feel Pressured to Buy a House
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DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and my husband is 27. We've been married for two years. Since our wedding, I have felt an overwhelming amount of pressure to "settle down and buy a house."

One friend's boyfriend recently bought a house. She lives with him. Every time we get together she brags about how important it is to buy a house and not "waste money" by renting an apartment.

My husband and I are happy renting because it allows us the money to travel and experience life together. The thought of being tied down to a mortgage at 23 years old for the next 30 years doesn't sit well with me. I am new in my career and have no idea where it may take me.

I understand that buying a house is a good investment. I often feel as if we are the "minority," as it seems everyone is rushing to settle down, have children, buy a house, etc.

Is it wrong that we would rather wait, enjoy ourselves traveling and doing what we like to do, and then follow the status quo and sign a mortgage that will tie us down for the next 30 years? -- FEELING PRESSURED IN MARYLAND

DEAR PRESSURED: Have you ever heard the saying, "Different strokes for different folks"? You appear to be pressuring yourself as a result of your friend's bragging. Whether or not to buy a home is a personal decision, and one that can vary from couple to couple (or person to person). You do not need to "keep up with the Joneses" or do anything you don't feel ready for.

A house is more than a roof over one's head. It can also be a reservoir of money that accrues as equity. If you're afraid that if you buy a home you will be trapped for 30 years, think again. People have been known to change homes several times in a lifetime. However, because you and your husband would prefer to take your time and wait to buy until you're more established in your careers, then that's what you should do.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/3/1/a-house-is-worth-having-only



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Lawyerlady


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Owning a home can be an investment, but it can also be a money pit. It can also be an albatross if the market tanks like it did several years ago. Renting sounds perfect for them right now. My tenant is a perpetual renter, she likes being able to call me when something breaks.

My mother was a perpetual renter, and finally purchased a home and I think she regrets it.

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cadiver


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I rented for decades. Had little desire to buy. As for wasting money it depends, obviously if you could rent the house you bought for $1 a year it would be better to rent and invest than buy. So, there is a line where renting could make more sense. Property tax on the houses I rented would be 60% of my rent. When those deals disappeared I bought.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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She needs to just grow up a bit. If her friends then have kids is she going to feel "pressured" to have kids? If they send their kids to parochial private schools, then pressure for that? Pressure to drive the same car, take the same trips, blah, blah.

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Mellow Momma


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She is young and she married young. When you marry that young there is a lot of pressure to comform to what everyone else's idea of a happy marriage is. It's most important that she and her DH figure it out for themselves. And they will with time.

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lilyofcourse


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I know renting is right for some. I understand that. I, personally, don't see the appeal. I hated living in the rentals. Maybe because I grew up in a house that wasn't rented and we could do what we wanted with it when we wanted.

But why this LW cant just say "it works for us" and leave it at that is beyond me.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Here is the thing you have to learn in life. You don't owe explanations about your life to other people. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. My rule of thumb is that if you aren't paying my bills, then what I do or why is none of your business.

But nowadays, everyone takes someone else's life commentary as some kind of "personal" slam, slight or order. So her friend loves her new house and wants to yakety yak about it. Great. Just say, Oh, I can see you are really enjoying your new home. Period.

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