TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I am about to tell you something that may shock you. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Okay.

I do not want children.

Now let me be clear, it's not that I don't want children right now. It's not that I don't want children until after I'm married, or after I've paid off my student loan debt, or after I've bought a house. There is no caveat to this statement.

I do not want children ever.

If I'm being totally honest, that's largely because I don't like children. I'm not good with them. I have spent my whole life as an only child and have utterly loved every minute of being sibling-less. I could be the poster girl for only child syndrome: spoiled, achievement-oriented, impatient, etc. And as such, I don't really have a ton of experience with children. I've never even held a baby (and no, I don't want to hold yours, thanks for asking). And so, I'm extremely awkward around them. I have no idea how to interact with a child younger than 12. Children are a mystery to me.

My only child-ness has also made me equal parts introverted and selfish. This is, admittedly, not a great combination if you have to sacrifice your own needs and want to constantly care for another, smaller human being who can't fend for itself yet. And I have no desire to change these things about myself. It's who I am, and I like who I am. I like the life I have and the childless life I envision for myself in the future.

Now, none of this is meant to be a knock against folks who do want children. If that's what you want to do, then you should do it. Parenthood is a phenomenal thing that makes so many feel fulfilled and happy. And that's great, but it's not for everyone.

We live in a society -- in a world, really -- where it is assumed that the default desire of women is to have children. Producing offspring is supposedly so hardwired into not only who a woman is, but also who she is supposed to be, so that if she doesn't want to have kids, there must be something wrong with her. She has deviated from the societal norm regarding what is expected of her, and therefore she's defective. She's less than other women who do wish to take advantage of their reproductive systems. Or she is, simply, wrong about what she wants. She clearly does not know her own mind, and if given enough time (and, perhaps, enough patronizing lectures about how a "real" woman is naturally supposed to want children) she will change it. And if you think I am being hyperbolic about any of this, you have clearly never been a woman who has expressed a desire to remain child-free out loud. Believe me, I have encountered all of this rhetoric at one time or another.

There are, rather obviously, a number of things wrong with these stereotypical notions of who women should be and what they should want (thanks, patriarchy). I am convinced that there are few things more frustrating in this world than expressing how you feel, and then being told you are, actually, incorrect. The response I've been given the most often when I tell someone I don't want kids is immediately "Oh, you're young. You'll change your mind." Full disclosure: I'm 22. And yes, I'm still young, but that doesn't automatically mean I'm incapable of coming to a mature, well-reasoned conclusion about who I am and what I want for my life, you know what I'm saying? The casual dismissal of something you know to be absolutely true about yourself is infuriating at best, and dehumanizing at worst. Let us also acknowledge not only the vast amount of sexism contained within these ideas, but also the cissexism embedded in them as well. Not all women can have children, and not all people who can have children are women. Gender stereotypes like these end up being all the more harmful because they refuse to operate outside of a binary that winds up being exclusionary to the many folks who don't neatly fit into it.

Throughout my teenage years and now into my early twenties, as I became more and more certain about wanting to remain childless, I unwittingly internalized a lot of these ideas about who I was supposed to be as a woman, and what I was supposed to be wanting and feeling. There's all this talk about maternal instincts women of childbearing age feel and how they begin yearning to start a family. I wasn't feeling anything of the sort. I recoiled inside at the thought of having a child instead of being filled with this warm, wistful glow. I didn't understand. What was wrong with me?

Then, about a year ago, I slowly began to come around to a surprising revelation:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me.

I do not want to have children, and that's okay. As it turns out, not wanting kids will absolutely not make me "less" of a woman. I am not defective. I am not wrong. I know my own mind. I have intrinsic value as a singular, autonomous person, and that value is not contingent upon me using my body to produce another person. Wanting to be child-free does not make me any better or worse of a human being than any other person who does choose to have children. It's just a choice I've made about my own life. It's no less valid a choice than the choice to become a mother. And that, to me, gets at the real heart of feminism: being granted the freedom to make choices for myself without judgment.

Now, if you happen to know any good cats that need homes, call me. I'm positively nuts about cats.

This post originally appeared on Femsplain.com.

--

Jessica Burnell works for a think tank in Washington, D.C. She enjoys yoga, ranting about the patriarchy, obsessing over her cat, Alex, and constantly re-watching The West Wing.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-burnell/on-wanting-to-die-old-and-childless_b_6742664.html

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Not everyone should have kids.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Bonny22Pye wrote:
Not everyone should have kids.

Of course not...but she acts like this is "news."

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I dont see the problem. Dont want kids? Make sure you don't get pregnant.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

This got a big old, "Meh? Don't give a rats patoot".

If you don't want children, by all means, don't have them.

Why she would write an article about it, and expect anyone other than her own family, to care...is beyond me. confuse

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
This got a big old, "Meh? Don't give a rats patoot".
If you don't want children, by all means, don't have them.
Why she would write an article about it, and expect anyone other than her own family, to care...is beyond me.

Well, I think just like everything else there are people that have a similar view point that want to read it. It helps validate their POV. Personally its kind of a boring article, but I get why it exists.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Bonny22Pye wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
This got a big old, "Meh? Don't give a rats patoot".
If you don't want children, by all means, don't have them.
Why she would write an article about it, and expect anyone other than her own family, to care...is beyond me.

Well, I think just like everything else there are people that have a similar view point that want to read it. It helps validate their POV. Personally its kind of a boring article, but I get why it exists.

IMHO, anyone who needs to read an article like this, to feel better about their point of view, is nothing but a weak, loser.

Just shut up, and do what you want to do. You don't need to explain it, or justify it, to anyone.

I, for one, don't care. Don't want to hear about it. Don't want to waste my time.

Again, JMHO.

Lindley · Guru

I wish people who won't take care of their kids and abuse them didn't have kids. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.

Empyreal · Senior Member

Are you sitting down? Get ready! I don't give a ****!

Empyreal · Senior Member

Get over yourself. We don't care that you don't want kids. It's not like we are running out of people...

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

What if she wrote: " I don't want to be around old people. I dont like old people. Old people are a mystery to me. I feel awkward around them. Old people are a mystery to me".

I mean aren't children part of the human race too? Wow

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

She sounds selfish to me. Probably a good thing she doesn't want kids.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What if she wrote: " I don't want to be around old people. I dont like old people. Old people are a mystery to me. I feel awkward around them. Old people are a mystery to me".

I mean aren't children part of the human race too? Wow

What if she had written that? I'm sure there are people out there who dislike old people.

sweet tooth · Member

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
She sounds selfish to me. Probably a good thing she doesn't want kids.

I don't think it's selfish to not want kids. It's only selfish if you already have them but then neglect them and their needs. But if you don't want to do that much sacrificing so you decide not to have them, I don't see what's wrong with it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What if she wrote: " I don't want to be around old people. I dont like old people. Old people are a mystery to me. I feel awkward around them. Old people are a mystery to me".

I mean aren't children part of the human race too? Wow
What if she had written that? I'm sure there are people out there who dislike old people.

Of course. But she wouldnt write that because she would be slammed for it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

She is reinforcing the notion that people who dont want kids dont LIKE kids.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

sweet tooth wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
She sounds selfish to me. Probably a good thing she doesn't want kids.
I don't think it's selfish to not want kids. It's only selfish if you already have them but then neglect them and their needs. But if you don't want to do that much sacrificing so you decide not to have them, I don't see what's wrong with it.

The following paragraph is why she sounds selfish to me...

If I'm being totally honest, that's largely because I don't like children. I'm not good with them. I have spent my whole life as an only child and have utterly loved every minute of being sibling-less. I could be the poster girl for only child syndrome: spoiled, achievement-oriented, impatient, etc. And as such, I don't really have a ton of experience with children. I've never even held a baby (and no, I don't want to hold yours, thanks for asking). And so, I'm extremely awkward around them. I have no idea how to interact with a child younger than 12. Children are a mystery to me.

She seems happy to be self admittedly spoiled and impatient. Not things I would personally brag about. And I wonder, if you've never been around kids or have no experience with them, how do you know you don't like them? She admits she's never been around them or even held one. I'm not saying she should rush out and get pregnant but she doesn't even know if she likes them. She's assuming she doesn't like them because she's never been around them.

voiceofreason · Guru

Obviously most of you have not faced the harsh judgement that is placed on women who don't like or want children. Even if you're nice enough to not give a feck, there are plenty of people who do and have no problem being obnoxious about it.

I personally have no problem with this woman or the article. I also think there, are far worse things than being selfish.

I can count on one hand the number of children I like.

Lindley · Guru

sweet tooth wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
She sounds selfish to me. Probably a good thing she doesn't want kids.
I don't think it's selfish to not want kids. It's only selfish if you already have them but then neglect them and their needs. But if you don't want to do that much sacrificing so you decide not to have them, I don't see what's wrong with it.

I agree.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I think she could have left out being an only child as her reason for being selfish, spoiled and impatient.

WYSIWYG · Guru

I think that article and any others like it are a good rebuttal to the busybodies that continually ask "when are you having kids?" or continually say "you would change your mind if you just had kids of your own" or other things of that nature.

Newsflash to the baby-pushers out there: Some people don't want or need kids to have a happy life.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

You should see the backlash I get from guys at work who find out I don't want kids. I get the RUDEST comments, and that's without even mentioning that I'm fixed (God help me if I ever let slip that little ditty).

But the most common is the "oh you'll change your mind, women constantly are changing their minds." And then there was the doozy of "aren't you worried about finding a man who will put up with that?"

WYSIWYG · Guru

But, you've just GOT to want kids, you are a woman! It's in your DNA!

Vette · Owl drink to that!

IKR?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I have NEVER made that comment to any woman. I can't imagine being that rude.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't care if someone does or doesn't want kids. Fine and dandy. But, the whole "Kids are terrible, I hate kids, kids shouldn't be allowed to exist or breathe in any space I am in" thing is what I think people find objectionable. My children are HUMAN BEINGS first. An infant is a human being. To not have some understanding of human development and life processes and think that because you have reached adulthood that now you somehow have some "right" to not be subjected to that part of humanity. Yes, there are some crappy parents out there, no question. But, to develop disdain across the board for children seems wrong to me.

sweet tooth · Member

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't care if someone does or doesn't want kids. Fine and dandy. But, the whole "Kids are terrible, I hate kids, kids shouldn't be allowed to exist or breathe in any space I am in" thing is what I think people find objectionable. My children are HUMAN BEINGS first. An infant is a human being. To not have some understanding of human development and life processes and think that because you have reached adulthood that now you somehow have some "right" to not be subjected to that part of humanity. Yes, there are some crappy parents out there, no question. But, to develop disdain across the board for children seems wrong to me.

I kind of agree, somewhat, but on the other hand, other peoples kids can easily ruin a nice evening out at a restaurant, or a ceremony such as a graduation, or even a major event like a wedding. They could start screaming and running around, and half the time the parents can't be bothered to stop it. Then you're screwed. Why should adults have to be subjected to that? When my kids were little, I never would have let them ruin someone else's event and then think "Oh well, they will just have to deal with my kids the way they are. Because my kids are human, too."

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

She's 22 and a self admitted spoiled brat who thinks she knows everything. She may never want kids - who cares, but many of the people she dismisses felt the same way and changed their mind.

And I love it when people say they don't want to be around kids - EVERYONE started out the same way, and they have no choice in the matter.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't care if someone does or doesn't want kids. Fine and dandy. But, the whole "Kids are terrible, I hate kids, kids shouldn't be allowed to exist or breathe in any space I am in" thing is what I think people find objectionable. My children are HUMAN BEINGS first. An infant is a human being. To not have some understanding of human development and life processes and think that because you have reached adulthood that now you somehow have some "right" to not be subjected to that part of humanity. Yes, there are some crappy parents out there, no question. But, to develop disdain across the board for children seems wrong to me.

I agree completely.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
She's 22 and a self admitted spoiled brat who thinks she knows everything. She may never want kids - who cares, but many of the people she dismisses felt the same way and changed their mind.

And I love it when people say they don't want to be around kids - EVERYONE started out the same way, and they have no choice in the matter.

I've been a Children's Librarian for 34 years. It is not uncommon to find Adult Librarians who are almost afraid to work in the children's area.

Ummmm...where do you think library supporters come from? That's right, they start out as children!!

flan

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

sweet tooth wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't care if someone does or doesn't want kids. Fine and dandy. But, the whole "Kids are terrible, I hate kids, kids shouldn't be allowed to exist or breathe in any space I am in" thing is what I think people find objectionable. My children are HUMAN BEINGS first. An infant is a human being. To not have some understanding of human development and life processes and think that because you have reached adulthood that now you somehow have some "right" to not be subjected to that part of humanity. Yes, there are some crappy parents out there, no question. But, to develop disdain across the board for children seems wrong to me.
I kind of agree, somewhat, but on the other hand, other peoples kids can easily ruin a nice evening out at a restaurant, or a ceremony such as a graduation, or even a major event like a wedding. They could start screaming and running around, and half the time the parents can't be bothered to stop it. Then you're screwed. Why should adults have to be subjected to that? When my kids were little, I never would have let them ruin someone else's event and then think "Oh well, they will just have to deal with my kids the way they are. Because my kids are human, too."

When children are well behaved, you don't know they are even present. So when children are poorly behaved, it makes it look like ALL children act that way.

We were the the poeple that took our kids everywhere. Everywhere. Fancy restaurants - and I made them order off the menu, no special orders, museums, plays, concerts, airplanes...the whole works. And while every person says "my kids behave and are NOT the problem" I can tell you that for us, it was true. Our kids acted up once in awhile, sure, but I immediatley removed them from the situation and gave them the choice of sitting in the car silently waiting for the rest of the family or goino back to the activity. The chose returning and behaving every time.

How do you expect them to learn what appropriate behavior is if you dont give them the chance to see it and experience it? And as kids, my kids were the #1 critics of other kids and their behavior. Lol.

The OP might never want kids. That's her choice. But I think she needs to experience kids before she says she doesn't. It's like saying you dont ever want ice cream without having tasted it first. I am not asking you to buy drums of it, just have a taste To see if you like it.

voiceofreason · Guru

Wait...what? There's a return option on kids? 30 day free trial or something? We all know that being around kids is no where near the same as having your own. Why is it so hard for people to get that some people don't want or like kids?

I'd rather she hold this thought than have a kid. Some women can't win. She knows herself better than you or I.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

She doesn't know if she doesn't like them because by her own admission she has never been around them. She decided she didn't like them based off of nothing.

You shouldn't decide you don't like anything without having a taste first. She could babysit a friend's child, volunteer someplace...work at the church's daycare during the services. If she does that and doesn't want kids...fine! But she said she has never been around them, never held one, nothing. If she had said "I have spent some time around kids and those little b@stards are too much, I dont want one" I would give her way more credit for making an informed decision.

voiceofreason · Guru

Hmmm. Well, people who think they're good parent material make informed choices and still feck it up. I think she's fine and the human race will not suffer because she declines to use her uterus. I'm obviously on Team Child-free.

NAOW · Vette's SS

voiceofreason wrote:
Wait...what? There's a return option on kids? 30 day free trial or something? We all know that being around kids is no where near the same as having your own. Why is it so hard for people to get that some people don't want or like kids?

I'd rather she hold this thought than have a kid. Some women can't win. She knows herself better than you or I.

I get it. But I know way more people who said the same thing as this OP and changed their mind. I think that's why there is always going to be a little bit of doubt when someone says they don't want/like kids. After being a member here and reading all these articles I know to keep my mouth shut when someone says they don't want kids, because I can see how annoying pretty much every response is.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

While I agree that she knows herself well enough to make the decision, THIS quote makes me sad:

I've never even held a baby (and no, I don't want to hold yours, thanks for asking). And so, I'm extremely awkward around them. I have no idea how to interact with a child younger than 12. Children are a mystery to me.

I can't imagine not being around kids, to some extent. They bring such joy to life.

flan

cadiver · Senior Member

Well sign me up on Team child free.

I am older then the OP so the decision is pretty much made. I do not think being around them will change my mind. I think a house plant is too much work, I imagine a child will be just as much.

voiceofreason · Guru

Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

voiceofreason wrote:
Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.

I agree. She's much too selfish. It's just sad that she won't even make an effort to interact with ANY child.

flan

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

flan327 wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.
I agree. She's much too selfish. It's just sad that she won't even make an effort to interact with ANY child.
flan

Yeah,

...I dont want her to go out and get knocked up or anything. Just volunteer someplace where she has to interact with kids. Make an informed decision. If she doesn't want kids, trust me, I dont want her to have them. But saying you don't want kids, and never having even interacted with a kid, is just silly.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I think a person can know they never want kids. They can know that about themselves like anyone knows anything about themselves.

I don't know why anyone should be around any one to see if they change their mind.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I made the decision to never have kids at a very young age. I've been around kids & can interact with them on a limited basis but usually still feel awkward & at a loss for what to say or do. And babies make me very uncomfortable. They just do. I never even held my niece until she was at least a year old. I don't hate kids & sometimes even think they are cute. Toddlers are adorable until they start crying but I don't & never have wanted one of my own. And believe it or not but it has cost me a few serious relationships. They all thought my clock would start ticking & I'd change my mind. Never happened. They left to find someone who wanted to have their children.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

sweet tooth wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't care if someone does or doesn't want kids. Fine and dandy. But, the whole "Kids are terrible, I hate kids, kids shouldn't be allowed to exist or breathe in any space I am in" thing is what I think people find objectionable. My children are HUMAN BEINGS first. An infant is a human being. To not have some understanding of human development and life processes and think that because you have reached adulthood that now you somehow have some "right" to not be subjected to that part of humanity. Yes, there are some crappy parents out there, no question. But, to develop disdain across the board for children seems wrong to me.
I kind of agree, somewhat, but on the other hand, other peoples kids can easily ruin a nice evening out at a restaurant, or a ceremony such as a graduation, or even a major event like a wedding. They could start screaming and running around, and half the time the parents can't be bothered to stop it. Then you're screwed. Why should adults have to be subjected to that? When my kids were little, I never would have let them ruin someone else's event and then think "Oh well, they will just have to deal with my kids the way they are. Because my kids are human, too."

Well, I have seen plenty of adults ruin things as well. And, no, I am not excusing kids or poor parents, but I thought we were kind of getting past labeling an entire group of people to dismiss?

voiceofreason · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.
I agree. She's much too selfish. It's just sad that she won't even make an effort to interact with ANY child.
flan
Yeah,
...I dont want her to go out and get knocked up or anything. Just volunteer someplace where she has to interact with kids. Make an informed decision. If she doesn't want kids, trust me, I dont want her to have them. But saying you don't want kids, and never having even interacted with a kid, is just silly.

I guess. I should probably go jump off a cliff so I can say I tried it before deciding I don't want to do it. Or be homeless. I've never actually been homeless so how do I know I wouldn't like it. And roller coasters too. I have no credibility since I've never tasted the thrill of a rollercoaster coaster. I've never tried lesbianism either. Maybe I WOULD like it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

voiceofreason wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.
I agree. She's much too selfish. It's just sad that she won't even make an effort to interact with ANY child.
flan
Yeah,
...I dont want her to go out and get knocked up or anything. Just volunteer someplace where she has to interact with kids. Make an informed decision. If she doesn't want kids, trust me, I dont want her to have them. But saying you don't want kids, and never having even interacted with a kid, is just silly.
I guess. I should probably go jump off a cliff so I can say I tried it before deciding I don't want to do it. Or be homeless. I've never actually been homeless so how do I know I wouldn't like it. And roller coasters too. I have no credibility since I've never tasted the thrill of a rollercoaster coaster. I've never tried lesbianism either. Maybe I WOULD like it.

Well, maybe you would! biggrin

FNW · Guru

I didn't want children when I was younger. I put it off and put it off for years. I was awkward with them, and didn't hold a baby until my niece was 5 weeks old. I was 36. It was awkward for me. But it was something I always figured I would do. To continue the family. To leave someone to carry on the family "name", so to speak. So that my presence on this earth would be remembered and a piece of me would go on infinitely.

I decided it was time for me to bite the bullet and procreate when I was 39. I set out to find someone to assist. I went off birth control. I met Mr. FNW and wanted him to father my children. But he was so sweet and kind and I knew I couldn't just "use" him like that, so I went back on birth control. I told him all this after he proposed. He thought it was very sweet and we decided to start "trying" after our honeymoon, so there would be no questioning why we were getting married. At the time I thought it was to protect our unborn child, but knowing his family like I do now, I suspect he was protecting me.

Anyway, I can understand this woman's rants. But I think writing an article of declaration in this regard wreaks of immaturity.

voiceofreason · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.
I agree. She's much too selfish. It's just sad that she won't even make an effort to interact with ANY child.
flan
Yeah,
...I dont want her to go out and get knocked up or anything. Just volunteer someplace where she has to interact with kids. Make an informed decision. If she doesn't want kids, trust me, I dont want her to have them. But saying you don't want kids, and never having even interacted with a kid, is just silly.
I guess. I should probably go jump off a cliff so I can say I tried it before deciding I don't want to do it. Or be homeless. I've never actually been homeless so how do I know I wouldn't like it. And roller coasters too. I have no credibility since I've never tasted the thrill of a rollercoaster coaster. I've never tried lesbianism either. Maybe I WOULD like it.
Well, maybe you would!

Maybe shoot up some heroin? I mean, I've never been around it, maybe I should go volunteer at a drug rehab so I know I don't want to be an addict.

MM, I'm just fussing. You're consistently one of the most logical briliant posters on this board. I just disagree with this particular post but I do have enormous respect for you!

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

voiceofreason wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Ugh. Children deserve better. They just do. No one should have a kid if they aren't 100% committed.
I agree. She's much too selfish. It's just sad that she won't even make an effort to interact with ANY child.
flan
Yeah,
...I dont want her to go out and get knocked up or anything. Just volunteer someplace where she has to interact with kids. Make an informed decision. If she doesn't want kids, trust me, I dont want her to have them. But saying you don't want kids, and never having even interacted with a kid, is just silly.
I guess. I should probably go jump off a cliff so I can say I tried it before deciding I don't want to do it. Or be homeless. I've never actually been homeless so how do I know I wouldn't like it. And roller coasters too. I have no credibility since I've never tasted the thrill of a rollercoaster coaster. I've never tried lesbianism either. Maybe I WOULD like it.
Well, maybe you would!
Maybe shoot up some heroin? I mean, I've never been around it, maybe I should go volunteer at a drug rehab so I know I don't want to be an addict.
MM, I'm just fussing. You're consistently one of the most logical briliant posters on this board. I just disagree with this particular post but I do have enormous respect for you!

Flattery will get you everywhere. Lol

And I think we have all had an experience where we were certain we were going to HATE something and we ended up not hating it, liking it, and even loving it in some cases. To say you hate roller coasters when you have never been on one is not accurate. You are afraid of heights, or afraid of roller coasters, but if you haven't had an experience, you cannot say you hate it. You simply can't pass judgement on an experience you have not had. You can say you don't want to. But you can't say you hate it.

And I can't say I hate heroin. I can say I hate it's effects, I hate what it does to people. But chances are I would probably actually love it. It's addictive for a reason.

The OP actually sounds like she has a phobia of children, narcissistic tendencies, and a big dose of immaturity.

burns07 · Guru

I Don't Want Children -- Ever
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so don't have them

voiceofreason · Guru

I absolutely believe you can not like something without experiencing it first hand.