DEAR ABBY: I teach at a fairly small school. My grade-level teaching team consists of five teachers who work closely together.
During the last school year, one of my team members got engaged. This year, we've had a change of staff and now have a new member on our team. My colleague has not, and does not, plan to invite this new member to her wedding, although the rest of us are invited. The save-the-dates and shower invitations have all been hand-delivered at school, making it awkward for the person who has not been invited.
I feel it wasn't appropriate to include all but one of the team simply because she is new to the group. Am I correct in feeling that my colleague did not handle this appropriately? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE FIRST GRADE
DEAR FRUSTRATED: A wedding is not a children's birthday party to which all the children must be invited if the invitations are handed out at school. While it would have been more diplomatic if the bride had mailed or emailed the invitations to her teammates, she was in no way obligated to invite someone with whom she hadn't worked.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I think it is OK to hand deliver if she was doing so discreetly. Like she went down to their rooms or was in the break room alone or in the parking lot, etc. But, to hand them out in view of the newbie seems a bit crass. However, there is a point in life where we aren't 6 yrs old anymore either.
The LW seems to be projecting how she would feel. If I was the new teacher it would seem like a gift grab if a woman I barely knew gave me an invite. I wouldn't feel the least bit slighted if she gave out invites. Then again, I'm mature.
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I think it weird that a new member of the team who never worked with this woman would feel slighted or otherwise awkward about not being invited to a wedding for a person she doesn't know. And I see nothing wrong with hand delivering the invites - she probably want to see everyone and say hi; I wouldn't assume it would be out of cheapness - postage is less than gas.
Basically, this letter writer is stirring up issues that don't exist.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Yeah, what is the thrill to go to a wedding of someone you barely know?
I've been to many. Usually a schmooze business thing, or someone who thinks I might have been interested in the venue. There were several people at my first wedding that my parents invited whom I didn't know, too.
I would secretly be glad I didn't get invited to a wedding from someone I didn't know. Then again I probably wouldn't go anyway if I didn't know them.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
I couldn't get past the point where she said it was a "small school" with five teachers for one grade level. There are barely that many for a grade level in my whole district lol
*for elementary schools, obviously more in high school for the different subjects
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.