TOTALLY GEEKED!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Abby: Ghost of Past Engagement
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: Ghost of Past Engagement
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Dear Abby: Ghost of Past Engagement
Permalink  
 

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have talked about becoming engaged. The subject of the wedding dress came up. She broke off a past engagement last year, and she has asked me whether it would be OK for her to use the dress she chose for the wedding that didn't happen. She says only her mother and the seamstress have seen it. She doesn't want to be out $1,000 and says she does not associate the gown with her ex-fiance.

I feel we should try to sell the dress, although it was tailored for her, and pick a new one. What do you think is appropriate? I don't like the idea of looking back at the wedding photos and thinking the dress was meant for another man. -- FUTURE HUSBAND IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HUSBAND: Actually, the dress was meant for your fiancee and not another man. There are specialists who can redesign an existing wedding dress. However, because you have negative associations with this gown, offer to sweeten the pot by chipping in if she can't get $1,000 for the one she has. I think the most "appropriate" thing on your wedding day should be that you are both comfortable, happy and, above all, in sync.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/3/12/dads-choice-of-movies-is-inappropriate



__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
Southern_Belle


Nothing's Impossible

Status: Offline
Posts: 16913
Date:
Permalink  
 

Yep. Give her the money for a new dress.

__________________

A person's a person no matter how small.
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

Really? It's just a DRESS. It's already paid for. Unless they are awash with cash, which I presume they aren't, I think it's stupid.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
Bonny22Pye


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1469
Date:
Permalink  
 

Just have it altered.

__________________
Just suck it up and get on with it.
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

Yeah, I'm with that.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
I know what to do_sometimes


Frozen Sucks!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24384
Date:
Permalink  
 

She chose the dress because she liked it. Nothing to do with the ex. Waste of money not to use it.

__________________

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

Frozen is the bestest movie ever, NOT!
burns07


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1586
Date:
Permalink  
 


lord--buy her another one and burn the one she's already purchased--it's from her past, it belongs there, leave it there

__________________

" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke

 
Vette


Owl drink to that!

Status: Offline
Posts: 4799
Date:
Permalink  
 

I vote get a new dress

__________________

Was it a bad day?

Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Status: Offline
Posts: 7536
Date:
Permalink  
 

It's a dress. She picked it because she liked the dress not because she associated it with a particular guy. Grow up. Oh no...you wore a tux on a date with your last girlfriend. You can't wear one to your wedding because it's associsted with another woman. Not. Finding the perfect dress is difficult. Finding one for only $1000 is a near miracle. No one has seen it except mom and the seamstress. Move on.

__________________

Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite ! 
burns07


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1586
Date:
Permalink  
 


not the same as a tux--a tux is considered formal attire ( in general )--a wedding dress is purchased for a singular event

__________________

" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke

 
Dona Worry Be Happy


Vette's SS!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2297
Date:
Permalink  
 

A man that would feel this threatened by a freakin' dress is one I would not have a lot of patience for. She is with you now, bro, get over the dress.

__________________
burns07


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1586
Date:
Permalink  
 


don't think it's about how he feels about it--she's concerned about the money she's spent and the fact that it was intended for another event--easy--give her the $1k ( or buy her another one ) and either burn the damned thing or GIVE it to someone else who may be in need of a wedding dress--personally, would rather burn it--as said earlier, it's from her past, leave it there

__________________

" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke

 
Divine Geek


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 4189
Date:
Permalink  
 

I'm surprised the woman still wants to wear it. One of my friends had a similar situation. She bought a dress she loved and then the relationship ended before she got to wear it. She couldn't stand the even look at the dress anymore. She ended up selling it.

__________________

Faith makes things possible, not easy
chef


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6644
Date:
Permalink  
 

Personally, I'd be irked at my groom for making the dress an issue. I was irritated that I had to spend ANY money on a wedding dress when I got married. I'd be pissed if I spent $1000 and then the dress didn't get used. I got my wedding dress for $300 since it was on clearance (and didn't need alterations) and still felt ripped off as it's something only worn once and I simply can't justify spending more on one dress than I've spent in 10 years (at least) on clothes. Quite frankly, were I in this woman's shoes, my groom can either cough up the money for a new dress or shut it and deal with it.



__________________

~At Gnome in the Kitchen~
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

DH wanted to purchase me and engagement ring and I said No. My mom was no longer wearing hers, it didn't fit her anymore, so she gave it to me. However, I am not a jewelry person at all. I don't care about jewelry. It is something I wear but I just don't keep very good track of it, so I tend to lose it. So, generally I only want costume jewelry. I just didn't see that as a big deal nor a reason to spend thousands when we were both out of college trying to start our lives.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
chef


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6644
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

DH wanted to purchase me and engagement ring and I said No. My mom was no longer wearing hers, it didn't fit her anymore, so she gave it to me. However, I am not a jewelry person at all. I don't care about jewelry. It is something I wear but I just don't keep very good track of it, so I tend to lose it. So, generally I only want costume jewelry. I just didn't see that as a big deal nor a reason to spend thousands when we were both out of college trying to start our lives.

I'm not a jewelry person either. It helps that I'm allergic to most metals.



__________________

~At Gnome in the Kitchen~
Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Status: Offline
Posts: 7536
Date:
Permalink  
 

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

A man that would feel this threatened by a freakin' dress is one I would not have a lot of patience for. She is with you now, bro, get over the dress.

 This. 

Sorry, but most men have no idea how hard it is to find a dress for your wedding. Women literally fall in love with the dress they choose. If she wants to wear the dress, show her how secure you are in the relationship and let her wear it. 

 

If no one has seen it besides her mom and the seamstress, that means he hasnt seen it either...



__________________

Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite ! 
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

I had my dress picked out long before I had my DH picked out.

__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

LOL!!!

To me, the dress has nothing to do with HIM. I picked out the dress I felt the prettiest in.

Hey, let's post some wedding photos in the Break room!



__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
flan327


Itty bitty's Grammy

Status: Offline
Posts: 28124
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

LOL!!!

To me, the dress has nothing to do with HIM. I picked out the dress I felt the prettiest in.

Hey, let's post some wedding photos in the Break room!

 Good idea!!!

flan



__________________

You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.
lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Status: Offline
Posts: 38325
Date:
Permalink  
 

Why did she feel the need to tell him she already had it?



__________________

A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
Vette


Owl drink to that!

Status: Offline
Posts: 4799
Date:
Permalink  
 

lilyofcourse wrote:

Why did she feel the need to tell him she already had it?

 This is a good point.

My bf made the mistake of telling me how much he spent on his first wife's wedding ring. Yeah...you bet your ass if he doesn't spend AT LEAST that much on mine he'll be in big doo-doo. :p



__________________

Was it a bad day?

Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
Mary Zombie


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1758
Date:
Permalink  
 

lilyofcourse wrote:

Why did she feel the need to tell him she already had it?

 My thoughts exactly!



__________________
That's Mrs. Face to you!
Bonny22Pye


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1469
Date:
Permalink  
 

VetteGirl wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Why did she feel the need to tell him she already had it?

 This is a good point.

My bf made the mistake of telling me how much he spent on his first wife's wedding ring. Yeah...you bet your ass if he doesn't spend AT LEAST that much on mine he'll be in big doo-doo. :p

 Don't let your relationship be controlled by previous ones.  What he spent then has to reflection on his current finances or you.  Maybe he learned from a big mistake.  But, then again I'm not a big jewelry person.  I have a simple gold band and his great great grandmothers solitaire engagement ring.



__________________
Just suck it up and get on with it.
Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Status: Offline
Posts: 7536
Date:
Permalink  
 

Bonny22Pye wrote:
VetteGirl wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Why did she feel the need to tell him she already had it?

 This is a good point.

My bf made the mistake of telling me how much he spent on his first wife's wedding ring. Yeah...you bet your ass if he doesn't spend AT LEAST that much on mine he'll be in big doo-doo. :p

 Don't let your relationship be controlled by previous ones.  What he spent then has to reflection on his current finances or you.  Maybe he learned from a big mistake.  But, then again I'm not a big jewelry person.  I have a simple gold band and his great great grandmothers solitaire engagement ring.

 Something passed down like that would mean more to me than anything he could buy in the store. What an amazing heirloom!



__________________

Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite ! 
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Abby: Ghost of Past Engagement


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard