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totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Harriette: Do I Have to Visit the Cemetary?
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Harriette: Do I Have to Visit the Cemetary?
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Harriette: Do I Have to Visit the Cemetary?
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DEAR HARRIETTE: My father died 10 years ago. Every year, my mother wants the family to make a pilgrimage to visit his grave. I rarely go. She is insistent this year because it's the 10th anniversary of his death. I hate cemeteries. Do I have to go? -- Creeped Out, Cincinnati

DEAR CREEPED OUT: Your mother would be thrilled to have you at her side. Participate in the pilgrimage for her sake. And, if you can, share a memory of your father that will make your family remember him with love. They all will appreciate your presence.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/sense-and-sensitivity/2015/3/13/is-it-ok-to-settle-in



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JPT


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In DH's family, it is Bai San, the annual ritual of honoring the ancestors, cleaning the markers, setting off firecrackers (where permitted, mostly Chinese cememteries) and sharing a meal in the presence of the spirits of the dearly departed. Most cultures learn to accept and embrace the passage of life and death, here, we make creepy movies about cemeteries and mortuaries.

I agree with Harriette.

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Southern_Belle


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Just go. Take a few hours out of one day and make mother happy.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yup. And, does everything have to be analyzed to the Nth degree? Just go. It's a few hours. Big whoop. Mom is happy you went with her. Sometimes life isn't all about what YOU want. Sheesh.

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JPT


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My boys loved going with MIL, she got to a point of just going out to eat after the cemetery visit in So. Cal (the National Cemetery in Riverside is a bit of a drive!)

MIL would say "Let's visit Goong Goong on Saturday" and they knew that Popo was springing for Claim Jumpers for lunch!

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burns07


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grow up--stop being so selfish and be a good son / daughter--it's important to HER and that's what matters--soon enough you won't have
your mother around and you'll be glad that you shared that special time with her

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lilyofcourse


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If my parents wanted me to go to a grave yard with them, I would.

And why are people so freaked out by cemeteries? They have to be the most peaceful place on the planet. And the most prayed over ground ever.



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ed11563


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I made an agreement with my mother.

She is buried 500 miles away. So going to her grave to talk to her doesn't really work out very well.

So I proposed to her, that I go to ANY Jewish cemetery, find any unused plot, and talk to her THERE. It's still part of the Earth, and I'm certain that she can hear me JUST as well as she could if I was standing at her actual grave.

 

She didn't disagree. So, we have a deal.

 

 



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