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Post Info TOPIC: 7.5 Million Americans Have 'Lost Their Religion' Since 2012


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7.5 Million Americans Have 'Lost Their Religion' Since 2012

Posted: 03/13/2015 12:58 pm EDT Updated: 03/13/2015 12:59 pm EDT

pin_icon_onhover.pngAMERICAN CHURCH
LAKEWOOD, CO - JANUARY 14: A New Hope Ministries, Center of Hope program participant waves an American Flag, trying to lure drivers on S. Sheridan Blvd to the church's car wash in the parking lot January 14, 2015. (Photo by Andy Cross/The Denver Post via Getty Images) | Andy Cross via Getty Images
 
 
 

(RNS) A new survey shows in stark relief that what some are calling the Great Decline of religion in America continues: Since 2012, the U.S. has about 7.5 million more Americans who are no longer active in religion.

Last week, the 2014 General Social Survey was released. The GSS is the gold standard for sociological surveys. Funded by the National Science Foundation, this multimillion-dollar study gives us the most accurate data on American society — including religion.

(An important point to remember as you see the data: Each percentage point increase represents a growth of 2.5 million adults. So a 3-point rise in secularity, for example, means that about 7.5 million people left religion since 2012.)

1. More Americans prefer “no religion.”

pin_icon_onhover.pngnones

When asked their religious preference, nearly 1 in 4 Americans now says “none.” Up until the 1990s, the percentage who were in this group known as “nones” hovered in the single digits. The 2014 GSS showed that nones are 23 percent of the population, up 3 points from 2012.

How large is this group? There are nearly as many Americans who claim no religion as there are Catholics (24 percent). If this growth continues, in a few years the largest “religion” in the U.S. may be no religion at all.

2. Americans aren’t going to church like they used to.

pin_icon_onhover.pngchurch

The number of Americans who never darken a church door is also at a new high. Over a third of Americans (35 percent) never attend a worship service (other than weddings and other ceremonies). This is a 5-point increase from just a few years earlier.

3. More Americans say they never pray.

pin_icon_onhover.pngprayer

Is this just a departure from organized religion? Even with people no longer identifying with religion or attending worship services, they still pray. But the percentage who never pray is also up, from 14 percent to 17 percent.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/13/americans-no-religion_n_6864536.html?cps=gravity_2677_1820461896990777187



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I lost mine well before that.



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I didn't lose my faith. I just got fed up with church drama that seemed to ensue in all the churches we belonged too.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I didn't lose my faith. I just got fed up with church drama that seemed to ensue in all the churches we belonged too.


 This. If the hypocrites would stop their bs I bet a lot of people would stay in church. I just read a book called Why I hate religion but love Jesus



-- Edited by Southern_Belle on Sunday 15th of March 2015 07:50:47 PM

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The author talks about how the organization of the church drives people away.

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LGS hit it squarely on the head, as far as I am concerned.
SB is that title correct or should the last part say Love Jesus??

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Thanks Karl!

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And if truth be told, I have never felt "at home" in any church. I didnt' grow up going to church. But, when I was a teenager, my mom became friends with a neighbor who was a devout Christian. And, I would kind of hang around listening to them talk. That started my own journey of faith. And, at various points in my life I did go to church on a regular basis. And, no I certainly don't expect people to be perfect. I expect that the church is full of flawed people which indeed it is. But, I just don't have the stomach any more for phoniness. I like REAL people, warts and all. And, I don't have the energy to go through a farce that I don't truly feel and act like I am soooo happy to see people for an hour on Sunday when they couldn't give 2 schits about me any other time. No thanks. I don't mean to be down on it. I believe in God and I believe in Jesus as the Savior. And, I am very well versed in Theology, have done a lot of extensive Bible study and have taken college courses as well. I think the Church needs to undergo a radical change if it is going to really meet people where they are. Just my opinion.

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You can find God in other places besides church.



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I have. Felt at home in church. I grew up in a wonderful church, lead by a true Shepard. Grew up with his kids and grand kids. Have long standing relationships with so many people because of the church.

I have found a new church and even though I can't always go, I still feel very welcome and comfortable there.

The reason people fall away, and this is just my opinion, is because a lot of the time they forget why they are there. Not to see or be seen. But to recharge, revive and refuel for the fight. It's a place of refuge. There is a reason why people would cry sanctuary when needing help and healing from the church.

Another reason is because the word of God has been diluted. People want to pick and choose the nice parts and forget about the hard parts.

Search me oh God is not easy when we don't fully let Him and hang on to the comfort and ease of this world. People don't like to feel conviction because it is painful and they have to change things about themselves and their life.

These are my opinions on this subject.

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I don't disagree with your points. And at times I have gone looking for social connections. But other times only seeking God. And yes some churches are very diluted in their teaching. I have been convicted many times in my walk with God. But shouldn't church be a place of refuge?

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Well look at it like this. If you go to the doctor, don't you want the whole truth and not just the nice part.

Church is where we go to check our ourselves too. Am I living up to my full potential? Is the something I need to change?

Let see, as an example, my kids have been taught to be polite, tell the truth, and be good all in all.

But there are times that I have to correct them, remind them of things. Some times I have to point out things that are just plain wrong. Not to hurt or hender my kids, but to keep them on the right path.

Church is where we sometimes get corrected, reminded and sometimes we find out something we are thinking or doing is just plain wrong.

It isnt to hurt or hender us, but to keep us on the right path.

Does that make sense?

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Yes. I don't have any issues with that.

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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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And in a lot of churches today the only thing you hear from the pulpit is what basically boils down to motivational speaking. I have whole "sermons" and not one time was a scripture used and God was never mentioned.

I think the body of Christ is starving for the word of God. They don't get it and anything that doesn't get fed, it dies.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

And in a lot of churches today the only thing you hear from the pulpit is what basically boils down to motivational speaking. I have whole "sermons" and not one time was a scripture used and God was never mentioned.

I think the body of Christ is starving for the word of God. They don't get it and anything that doesn't get fed, it dies.


  I agree.  So many Sunday schools now don't read the Bible.  They use books.  Not sure when Max Lucado replaced John, Mark, Matthew and Luke.  So much time is spent reading about the Bible without actually reading the Bible! 



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I love our new preacher. His sermons are very to the point, and he is very good at preaching on the scripture and applying it to modern life and reminding us about what is important. And he's not boring, which helps tremendously - he can keep you focused.

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the title is rather misleading and, to me, automatically makes the contents suspect

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Well, you elaborate a bit.

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I love going to church, I love the traditions and rituals.

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"I just got fed up with church drama that seemed to ensue in all the churches we belonged too." - Lady Gaga Snerd

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That's a big part of the reason why, now, what's between me and God is between me and God. Church after Church, Pastor after Pastor. Church was just always drama, everywhere I went.

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I understand there can be church drama, but I also understand how easy it is to ignore. If you are just getting up and going to church and then leaving again, I don't get how you get involved in drama or affected by it. It's not like people are standing up during the sermon arguing with each other.

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Well, I'll tell you why. Part of the reason to join a Church was to get involved. Not just slink in and out the door without getting involved with people or being part of the Church. In our first Church DH was part of the Church board. And, there were a lot of pissy ass women there. And, for some reason, they decided they didn't like the Pastor anymore. Ok, fair enough. Everyone doesn't have to like everyone. So what, right? But, then it turned into a full frontal attack of them attacking the Pastor and his wife and his young children. Nothing the Pastor did was right, blah, blah. He was a good Christian man with a very nice family. Finally, the Pastor had enough and left. At that point, we had enough and decided, well maybe time to move on.
The next Church we went to, the SAME thing. We were involved in going to Sunday school, they asked DH to be on the Church board. Well, sure, enough, another group of pissy ass women who decided the Pastor was "quenching the Spirit" because he wasn't into charismatic religion. Well, this was a CMA church, this is not a Pentacostal church. If they wanted speaking in tongues and stuff, then go to a Pentacostal church. I have nothing against that, but this denomination is not of that particular brand. Anyway, same thing, making everyone miserable, attacking the Pastor and on and on. I think the Pastor should have just stood up to them and told them, This is the Way I preach and if you don't like it you are free to leave". But, that is my approach and not his so ultimately, he and his family left as well.

So, if the goal is to merely to just run in the door and run out and not get involved then I don't see what the point is? Part of the purpose of church is supposed to be the fellowship of Church and worshipping with like minded people.

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I have been blessed to grow up in a church and a family that taught us that people happen and we have to keep our self accountable to God and not focus on human behavior and failings because it will cause our own walk with God to stray.

There was and is people in church that cause division or at least try to. That is where praying, getting in the scripture and obedience to God's teachings come into to play.

I have seen the divisive person come in and try to start trouble and they leave not long after because they can't cause the trouble they want to cause.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

I have been blessed to grow up in a church and a family that taught us that people happen and we have to keep our self accountable to God and not focus on human behavior and failings because it will cause our own walk with God to stray.

There was and is people in church that cause division or at least try to. That is where praying, getting in the scripture and obedience to God's teachings come into to play.

I have seen the divisive person come in and try to start trouble and they leave not long after because they can't cause the trouble they want to cause.


Well, I agree.  You don't have to PLAY when they want to start their nonsense.  Unfortunately, too many Pastors think they have to please everyone.  Well, they never will.  They just need to stand firm in that they are preaching the way God has directed them too.  Those who don't like it can leave.  But, that is rarely what happens.  They wind up trying to please everyone and please and no one.  Well, that should not be their focus. 



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Most people start attending Church looking for God and looking for fellowship from other Christians. But, when they get there and find that it is full of bitchy, cliquey people running their own agendas, it seems no different than what people are experiencing anywhere else. So, after awhile, you just get tired of it.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, I'll tell you why. Part of the reason to join a Church was to get involved. Not just slink in and out the door without getting involved with people or being part of the Church. In our first Church DH was part of the Church board. And, there were a lot of pissy ass women there. And, for some reason, they decided they didn't like the Pastor anymore. Ok, fair enough. Everyone doesn't have to like everyone. So what, right? But, then it turned into a full frontal attack of them attacking the Pastor and his wife and his young children. Nothing the Pastor did was right, blah, blah. He was a good Christian man with a very nice family. Finally, the Pastor had enough and left. At that point, we had enough and decided, well maybe time to move on.
The next Church we went to, the SAME thing. We were involved in going to Sunday school, they asked DH to be on the Church board. Well, sure, enough, another group of pissy ass women who decided the Pastor was "quenching the Spirit" because he wasn't into charismatic religion. Well, this was a CMA church, this is not a Pentacostal church. If they wanted speaking in tongues and stuff, then go to a Pentacostal church. I have nothing against that, but this denomination is not of that particular brand. Anyway, same thing, making everyone miserable, attacking the Pastor and on and on. I think the Pastor should have just stood up to them and told them, This is the Way I preach and if you don't like it you are free to leave". But, that is my approach and not his so ultimately, he and his family left as well.

So, if the goal is to merely to just run in the door and run out and not get involved then I don't see what the point is? Part of the purpose of church is supposed to be the fellowship of Church and worshipping with like minded people.


 Whenever there is a group of people together, there is going to be drama and disagreements of some kind.  How much you let that affect you is up to you -isn't that what you always say?

Sorry, but it simply sounds like an excuse not to go to church. 



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And I have to say, I have found the most drama to come from the people who are NOT participating. Like, when we had issues with a pastor because he was not doing his job and he was trying to make decisions for the whole church without consulting anyone, the people who got most upset when he left are the ones that never came to any church events - they didn't realize the pastor wasn't showing up, or that he wasn't having his kids attend any of the kids' events, or that he wasn't ministering to the local charities our church supports. Or, the ones that are now upset because we have video screens in the sanctuary - that was debated ad nauseum and voted on at church meetings, which they did not attend.

You can be the person that just comes to church and leaves, but if that's the case, don't bitch about the decisions made without your imput. The people that were in the discussions, even the ones that may have voted against, at least got to hear the opposing side to the issue and although they lost the vote, at least they are not disgruntled about it. I didn't go, and I don't vote, and I don't particularly care about the screens, but I'm not going to complain about it, either. In the grand scheme of things, whether we have screens in the sanctuary makes absolutely no difference to the reason I am there. Just like I don't care if we sing traditional or contemporty songs, they both worship God.

The only reason to be at church is to worship God, fellowship with others that also do to fortity your faith, and to bring lost souls to Jesus. That's it.


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Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, I'll tell you why. Part of the reason to join a Church was to get involved. Not just slink in and out the door without getting involved with people or being part of the Church. In our first Church DH was part of the Church board. And, there were a lot of pissy ass women there. And, for some reason, they decided they didn't like the Pastor anymore. Ok, fair enough. Everyone doesn't have to like everyone. So what, right? But, then it turned into a full frontal attack of them attacking the Pastor and his wife and his young children. Nothing the Pastor did was right, blah, blah. He was a good Christian man with a very nice family. Finally, the Pastor had enough and left. At that point, we had enough and decided, well maybe time to move on.
The next Church we went to, the SAME thing. We were involved in going to Sunday school, they asked DH to be on the Church board. Well, sure, enough, another group of pissy ass women who decided the Pastor was "quenching the Spirit" because he wasn't into charismatic religion. Well, this was a CMA church, this is not a Pentacostal church. If they wanted speaking in tongues and stuff, then go to a Pentacostal church. I have nothing against that, but this denomination is not of that particular brand. Anyway, same thing, making everyone miserable, attacking the Pastor and on and on. I think the Pastor should have just stood up to them and told them, This is the Way I preach and if you don't like it you are free to leave". But, that is my approach and not his so ultimately, he and his family left as well.

So, if the goal is to merely to just run in the door and run out and not get involved then I don't see what the point is? Part of the purpose of church is supposed to be the fellowship of Church and worshipping with like minded people.


 Whenever there is a group of people together, there is going to be drama and disagreements of some kind.  How much you let that affect you is up to you -isn't that what you always say?

Sorry, but it simply sounds like an excuse not to go to church. 


I don't need an "excuse".  If I want to go, I will go.  If I don't want to go, I won't.  I really don't have to justify it one way or another to anybody.  So no biggie. 



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Lawyerlady wrote:

And I have to say, I have found the most drama to come from the people who are NOT participating. Like, when we had issues with a pastor because he was not doing his job and he was trying to make decisions for the whole church without consulting anyone, the people who got most upset when he left are the ones that never came to any church events - they didn't realize the pastor wasn't showing up, or that he wasn't having his kids attend any of the kids' events, or that he wasn't ministering to the local charities our church supports. Or, the ones that are now upset because we have video screens in the sanctuary - that was debated ad nauseum and voted on at church meetings, which they did not attend.

You can be the person that just comes to church and leaves, but if that's the case, don't bitch about the decisions made without your imput. The people that were in the discussions, even the ones that may have voted against, at least got to hear the opposing side to the issue and although they lost the vote, at least they are not disgruntled about it. I didn't go, and I don't vote, and I don't particularly care about the screens, but I'm not going to complain about it, either. In the grand scheme of things, whether we have screens in the sanctuary makes absolutely no difference to the reason I am there. Just like I don't care if we sing traditional or contemporty songs, they both worship God.

The only reason to be at church is to worship God, fellowship with others that also do to fortity your faith, and to bring lost souls to Jesus. That's it.


 Uh huh.  In my neighbor's church,, there were some OLD church pews that were in the basement.  Half of the church considered them "historic".  The other half wanted them removed to make more space for the Youth ministry.  Well, the Board and the Pastors voted and they removed the pews.   Half of the church got ticked off and left.  And, that Pastor became so disheartened that he eventually left too.  It isn't just churches I have attended, it is going on in a lot of churches. 



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I LOVE my church. Every single part of it. I love the people, I love the pastor, I love the music. I don't care much about one of the music leaders, but her heart is good...

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Over the years, I've attended 3 different parishes on a regular basis, and am now on my second Meeting.

Luckily, I've never encountered what you did, LGS.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

And I have to say, I have found the most drama to come from the people who are NOT participating. Like, when we had issues with a pastor because he was not doing his job and he was trying to make decisions for the whole church without consulting anyone, the people who got most upset when he left are the ones that never came to any church events - they didn't realize the pastor wasn't showing up, or that he wasn't having his kids attend any of the kids' events, or that he wasn't ministering to the local charities our church supports. Or, the ones that are now upset because we have video screens in the sanctuary - that was debated ad nauseum and voted on at church meetings, which they did not attend.

You can be the person that just comes to church and leaves, but if that's the case, don't bitch about the decisions made without your imput. The people that were in the discussions, even the ones that may have voted against, at least got to hear the opposing side to the issue and although they lost the vote, at least they are not disgruntled about it. I didn't go, and I don't vote, and I don't particularly care about the screens, but I'm not going to complain about it, either. In the grand scheme of things, whether we have screens in the sanctuary makes absolutely no difference to the reason I am there. Just like I don't care if we sing traditional or contemporty songs, they both worship God.

The only reason to be at church is to worship God, fellowship with others that also do to fortity your faith, and to bring lost souls to Jesus. That's it.


 Uh huh.  In my neighbor's church,, there were some OLD church pews that were in the basement.  Half of the church considered them "historic".  The other half wanted them removed to make more space for the Youth ministry.  Well, the Board and the Pastors voted and they removed the pews.   Half of the church got ticked off and left.  And, that Pastor became so disheartened that he eventually left too.  It isn't just churches I have attended, it is going on in a lot of churches. 


 Too late, but they should have offered them up for sale to the members as a fundraising event. 

And the fact that people left the church over old pews shows they were not there for the right reason, anyway.  They basically said those pews were more important than worshiping God.



-- Edited by Lawyerlady on Tuesday 17th of March 2015 03:13:27 PM

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I go to church for my souls refreshment.

The rest is people being people. Get over it. And stop with the lame excuses. Either your spiritual life is important or it isn't. Pretty simple, IMHO.

We have "drama" people in our church too. I avoid them without missing church or church events. And we have a small church!

DH and I both serve our church in some capacity. It isn't that hard. I keep my mouth shut and move along. ;)

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It's not a "excuse". If I want to go, I will go. Right now, I am just not up for it. Yes, you can ignore drama. I agree.

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"Either your spiritual life is important or it isn't. Pretty simple, IMHO." - just Czech

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Hahahaha. Haven't read the whole thing but I was raised in church. My mom was VERY active in church. Oh, and she LOVED the gossip and drama to the core. I remember when our head deacon started having an affair with the church secretary. My mom came ALIVE with that one. First she took the church secretary out to lunch to get all the gossip. Then she took the Head Deacon's wife out to lunch to get all the gossip. All under the guise of doing her "Christian duty". Hilarious to watch her work. Then she would gossip all day long on the phone. Eventually the church women had a little party for the Head Deacon's wife and they all bought her gifts and encouraged her to leave her lying no good husband. But in case that wasn't enough my mom sent my dad, who was also a deacon, up to the pastor to have Head Deacon ousted. Oh, and she called all the other deacons wives to make sure they sent their husbands too. It was one of the most wonderful drama's I've ever seen played out. I was a teenager. I really wanted to tell my mom she was a gossiping whore monger and to mind her own business but I don't think that would have gone over very well.

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In the end Head Deacon was ousted, wife left him, church secretary got fired and we never heard from her again. Head Deacon left the church. Eventually wife did too because of all the gossipy biotches like my mom. Last time I heard wife had moved on to a new church and remarried. Head Deacon had not.

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WYSIWYG wrote:

"Either your spiritual life is important or it isn't. Pretty simple, IMHO." - just Czech

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Spiritual life can be important to someone without Church or Organized Religion being important to them. I do agree that it's simple.


Yeah, I consider those 2 different things.  I have known plenty of well Churched people who are not the least bit spiritual in any sense of the word.  And, I think God is everywhere so one doesn't need to only find Him there. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

It's not a "excuse". If I want to go, I will go. Right now, I am just not up for it. Yes, you can ignore drama. I agree.


 Sometimes you cannot ignore the drama though. It's literally seeping into every activity. And in some of the churches I have attended, if you don't join in the drama, the drama will become about you. 

 

Had ad a few gossipy women try and get me involved in their shenanigans. I declined politely and "just went to church and left" like suggested here. Well, then the ladies decided that if I wouldn't play with them, their rumors and gossip would be about me and my family. Suddenly there were rumors goino around that DH and I weren't legally married (untrue), then it was that he had moved out (again untrue) and then it was that one of our DD's wasn't his biological child (again, untrue). I left and never went back. 

It would be great to go for Sunday services and then leave. But that doesn't always work. Ignoring the drama llamas sometimes makes you a target. 



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I don't understand why, when a rumor like that is started and you know who started it, you don't confront them.

During a dinner or something, " I understand you have questions about my family, well here are the facts.... Now next time, please come to me with questions instead starting your rumors. Have a nice day ladies" and then walk away.

I can't stand that kind of stuff and I will point it out in a heart beat.

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Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

It's not a "excuse". If I want to go, I will go. Right now, I am just not up for it. Yes, you can ignore drama. I agree.


 Sometimes you cannot ignore the drama though. It's literally seeping into every activity. And in some of the churches I have attended, if you don't join in the drama, the drama will become about you. 

 

Had ad a few gossipy women try and get me involved in their shenanigans. I declined politely and "just went to church and left" like suggested here. Well, then the ladies decided that if I wouldn't play with them, their rumors and gossip would be about me and my family. Suddenly there were rumors goino around that DH and I weren't legally married (untrue), then it was that he had moved out (again untrue) and then it was that one of our DD's wasn't his biological child (again, untrue). I left and never went back. 

It would be great to go for Sunday services and then leave. But that doesn't always work. Ignoring the drama llamas sometimes makes you a target. 


 I would have left that church, too.  But I would have found another.  Using a bad experience at one church to write them all off is not the answer.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

I don't understand why, when a rumor like that is started and you know who started it, you don't confront them.

During a dinner or something, " I understand you have questions about my family, well here are the facts.... Now next time, please come to me with questions instead starting your rumors. Have a nice day ladies" and then walk away.

I can't stand that kind of stuff and I will point it out in a heart beat.


 Who said I didn't confront her? I certainly did. And she cried, and I was made out to be the bad guy. 



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Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

I don't understand why, when a rumor like that is started and you know who started it, you don't confront them.

During a dinner or something, " I understand you have questions about my family, well here are the facts.... Now next time, please come to me with questions instead starting your rumors. Have a nice day ladies" and then walk away.

I can't stand that kind of stuff and I will point it out in a heart beat.


 Who said I didn't confront her? I certainly did. And she cried, and I was made out to be the bad guy. 


Why waste your breath on idiots MM?  It's a waste of time. 



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Lawyerlady wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

It's not a "excuse". If I want to go, I will go. Right now, I am just not up for it. Yes, you can ignore drama. I agree.


 Sometimes you cannot ignore the drama though. It's literally seeping into every activity. And in some of the churches I have attended, if you don't join in the drama, the drama will become about you. 

 

Had ad a few gossipy women try and get me involved in their shenanigans. I declined politely and "just went to church and left" like suggested here. Well, then the ladies decided that if I wouldn't play with them, their rumors and gossip would be about me and my family. Suddenly there were rumors goino around that DH and I weren't legally married (untrue), then it was that he had moved out (again untrue) and then it was that one of our DD's wasn't his biological child (again, untrue). I left and never went back. 

It would be great to go for Sunday services and then leave. But that doesn't always work. Ignoring the drama llamas sometimes makes you a target. 


 I would have left that church, too.  But I would have found another.  Using a bad experience at one church to write them all off is not the answer.


 But when you go to the next church and they ask for last year's tax return so they can tell you how much your tithe will be (on your first visit to the pastor before transferring membership) and then you get to the next church and the social hall is named for the local well known mobster (who is a known murderer)...and on and on...it gets to be where finding "the right fit" seems impossible. This is why people give up on finding the right place.

I certainly don't think church goers should be without fault. But I DO think the church shouldn't hold up the worst amongst us as paragons of virtue when they are known to be tax evaders, prescription drug pushers, etc but the pastor LOVES them because they can write a check. So they get made a fuss over and we are all told to be more like them when their name is on the front page for breaking the law. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

I don't understand why, when a rumor like that is started and you know who started it, you don't confront them.

During a dinner or something, " I understand you have questions about my family, well here are the facts.... Now next time, please come to me with questions instead starting your rumors. Have a nice day ladies" and then walk away.

I can't stand that kind of stuff and I will point it out in a heart beat.


 Who said I didn't confront her? I certainly did. And she cried, and I was made out to be the bad guy. 


Why waste your breath on idiots MM?  It's a waste of time. 


 Because she can say what she wants about me, but I wont alow someone to talk about my children. 



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Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

I don't understand why, when a rumor like that is started and you know who started it, you don't confront them.

During a dinner or something, " I understand you have questions about my family, well here are the facts.... Now next time, please come to me with questions instead starting your rumors. Have a nice day ladies" and then walk away.

I can't stand that kind of stuff and I will point it out in a heart beat.


 Who said I didn't confront her? I certainly did. And she cried, and I was made out to be the bad guy. 


Why waste your breath on idiots MM?  It's a waste of time. 


 Because she can say what she wants about me, but I wont alow someone to talk about my children. 


Good for you.  I can't stand gossipy women.  Ick. 



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Lawyerlady wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

It's not a "excuse". If I want to go, I will go. Right now, I am just not up for it. Yes, you can ignore drama. I agree.


 Sometimes you cannot ignore the drama though. It's literally seeping into every activity. And in some of the churches I have attended, if you don't join in the drama, the drama will become about you. 

 

Had ad a few gossipy women try and get me involved in their shenanigans. I declined politely and "just went to church and left" like suggested here. Well, then the ladies decided that if I wouldn't play with them, their rumors and gossip would be about me and my family. Suddenly there were rumors goino around that DH and I weren't legally married (untrue), then it was that he had moved out (again untrue) and then it was that one of our DD's wasn't his biological child (again, untrue). I left and never went back. 

It would be great to go for Sunday services and then leave. But that doesn't always work. Ignoring the drama llamas sometimes makes you a target. 


 I would have left that church, too.  But I would have found another.  Using a bad experience at one church to write them all off is not the answer.


I think the point people are making LL is that this hasn't happened to people only at ONE church. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

It's not a "excuse". If I want to go, I will go. Right now, I am just not up for it. Yes, you can ignore drama. I agree.


 Sometimes you cannot ignore the drama though. It's literally seeping into every activity. And in some of the churches I have attended, if you don't join in the drama, the drama will become about you. 

 

Had ad a few gossipy women try and get me involved in their shenanigans. I declined politely and "just went to church and left" like suggested here. Well, then the ladies decided that if I wouldn't play with them, their rumors and gossip would be about me and my family. Suddenly there were rumors goino around that DH and I weren't legally married (untrue), then it was that he had moved out (again untrue) and then it was that one of our DD's wasn't his biological child (again, untrue). I left and never went back. 

It would be great to go for Sunday services and then leave. But that doesn't always work. Ignoring the drama llamas sometimes makes you a target. 


 I would have left that church, too.  But I would have found another.  Using a bad experience at one church to write them all off is not the answer.


I think the point people are making LL is that this hasn't happened to people only at ONE church. 


 What was that being said on the other thread? If you find problems everywhere you go, maybe you are problem.



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Really? It was my fault the Pastor had an affair with the Church organist when I was a teen? Oh, ok.

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Funny you crow about holding people to high standards but the Church, well of course they don't need standards and anyone who thinks they does, well they must be the problem!

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