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Vette


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For my MI peeps
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WHY THE WORLD NEEDS THE MENTALLY DIFFERENT

 
Apr 132015

 

GlennonWhat do you want people who love and serve the mentally ill to know?

Okay. I’m not really allowed to say what I’m about to say. In public, we people who are mentally ill are supposed to hang our heads and only speak of our challenges as things we want “fixed” for fear of folks accusing us of “glamorizing” our condition. We’re supposed to declare that our way of being is dangerous and wrong and everyone else’s way is better and we are supposed to want to join the troops and fall into line. And so those who love us are confused and angry when we are resistant to getting help, to taking our meds, to being “cured.” Every other sufferer of a disease wants to get better, why don’t you?

I’ll tell you why.

Because sometimes we understand that our inability to accept and live resignedly in the world we’ve been born into is chemical and personal and that we need help integrating. We hang our heads and say: It’s not you, world—it’s me. I’ll get help. I need to get better.

But other times—we turn on the news or watch closely how people treat each other and we silently raise our eyebrows and think: Actually, maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s you, world. Maybe my inability to adapt to the world is not because I’m crazy but because I’m paying attention. Maybe it’s not insane to reject the world as it is. Maybe the real insanity is surrendering to the world as it is now. Maybe pretending that things around here are just fine is no badge of honor I want to wear.

We addicts—we have rejected the world as it is. We left the big world and started hiding inside the small world of addiction for a reason. So inviting us back into the world as it is — it’s not effective. We are too smart to rejoin a party we couldn’t stomach. And so when someone we love and trust wants to invite us out of addiction, she needs to consider what she’s inviting us INTO.  Okay—you want me to come out of here…but into WHAT?Because when we peek out of our world and into yours; when we look out and see everybody still shooting at each other—literally and figuratively—we think: no thank you. I’ll just take my chances in here.

I know that I needed to be invited not only out of addiction, but into a movement to change the world. I needed to join folks working to turn this planet into a gentler, saner, safer, more vivid place in which folks with wide-open eyes and tender hearts might survive and thrive. This is why the moment I stepped out of the world of addiction, I stepped into family, faith, art, service, and activism. I stepped into worlds of purpose. But I did not give up my resistance to the world as it is. I did not say: FINE, I’ll come back. I said: Fine, I’ll come back, but I’m coming back with a mission. I’m not stepping back into the matrix. I’m going to join the special forces who are trying to free everybody from it. Because yes, I’ve got these conditions—anxiety, depression, addiction—and they almost killed me. But they are also my superpowers. I’m the canary in the mine and you need my sensitivity because I can smell toxins in the air that you can’t smell, see trouble you don’t see and sense danger you don’t feel. My sensitivity could save us all. And so instead of letting me fall silent and die — why don’t we work together to clear some of this poison from the air?

What we who are mentally different need is respect. We know we need help managing our mental differences, but what we ask for is a shift in your approach to helping us. Instead of coming at us with the desire to change us because we are inconvenient to the world—come at us with the desire to help us because we are important to the world. We want you to see that with a little help, we can be your prophets, healers, clergy, artists, and activists. Help us manage our fire, yes, but don’t try to extinguish us. Tweet: What we mentally different need is respect. Help us manage our fire, yes-but don’t try to extinguish us. @momastery http://ctt.ec/e11Cc+ ‎ That fire that almost killed us is the same fire we’ll use to light up the world. And so we don’t want you to take what we’ve got, we just want help learning how to use what we’ve got for good.

Let’s work together—as equals. Because we need your science and you need our poetry. Maybe we are here not just to be saved by you—but to save you back.

 

- See more at: http://momastery.com/blog/2015/04/13/world-mentally/#sthash.2btsPR3F.dpuf



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Vette


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Thoughts? Yay or nay?

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Nobody Just Nobody


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It sounds like someone who is off their meds wrote this. Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear but that's what it sounds like to me. I don't think "normal" people look at the news and say, "Cool, we treat each other wonderfully." The world is messed up sometimes. We know that.

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Vette


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I never said what I did or didn't want to hear, I'm not sure I actually agree with some of what she says.

Just wanted to see what people thought.

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She sounds to me like she's trying to justify not taking her meds or being compliant. I dunno. I know the world is bad and that it's sometimes crazy. Maybe it does make more sense if you're "crazy". But I've known people who have MI and when they aren't complaint they are...difficult to put it nicely.

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Vette


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But read her last big paragraph, she's not saying people with MI should all just go off their meds. She's just putting a new perspective on how "normal" people should view them.

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I don't know. I think people who are MI and medicated can lead great and fulfilling lives and go on to help others. I just don't see how you are going to be a helpful member of society if you are doing harm to yourself or others. It would be great if we could handle everything with touchy feely "I love you's" and people would automatically change. Unfortunately tough love is sometimes the way to go.

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My bio dad is MI. He's a dangerous person. And by dangerous I mean he wouldn't hesitate to hurt you. Physically. He refuses to take his meds. He can't function in "normal" society. No one in the family wants to be around him because it's such a risk.

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Tignanello


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I like what she has to say - it applies to me and many people that I work with. I think that she makes a good point when she says that some people are too sensitive and too open to withstand the pain of the world and that the need to reduce that pain is what drives the addiction. It's not a conscious choice be mentally ill because the world is hard - it is a much deeper reaction to pain. A subconscious one.

However - I agree that this does not apply to all. NJN makes a good point.

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Tignanello wrote:

I like what she has to say - it applies to me and many people that I work with. I think that she makes a good point when she says that some people are too sensitive and too open to withstand the pain of the world and that the need to reduce that pain is what drives the addiction. It's not a conscious choice be mentally ill because the world is hard - it is a much deeper reaction to pain. A subconscious one.

However - I agree that this does not apply to all. NJN makes a good point.

 I would agree with you 100% Tig that MI is not a choice.  It's not something people wish to have.  At least no one I know.  My mom is one of those people that is a "Pull yourself up by your boot straps." person and can't understand that sometimes people can't do that on their own.  I think there's a middle ground.  People have to be more compassionate to the MI but the MI have to have responsibility for their lives too.



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Lawyerlady


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What we who are mentally different need is respect. We know we need help managing our mental differences, but what we ask for is a shift in your approach to helping us. Instead of coming at us with the desire to change us because we are inconvenient to the world—come at us with the desire to help us because we are important to the world. We want you to see that with a little help, we can be your prophets, healers, clergy, artists, and activists. Help us manage our fire, yes, but don’t try to extinguish us. Tweet: What we mentally different need is respect. Help us manage our fire, yes-but don’t try to extinguish us. ‎ That fire that almost killed us is the same fire we’ll use to light up the world. And so we don’t want you to take what we’ve got, we just want help learning how to use what we’ve got for good.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sooooo, I guess I'm trying to understand what it is she thinks is the problem. I mean, I agree with her, people with mental illness need help - therapy and medication usually - and then they can be productive members of society. We all want the same thing. But, yes, the mentally ill have to cooperate with that and deal with their mental illness. If they don't do that, then that is where problems come in.

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