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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Making Room for the Now
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Making Room for the Now

Letting go of what was
Post published by Sheila Weinstein on Apr 23, 2015 in What Do I Do Now?
 
 

I am undergoing renovations in my condo and I've been wrestling with a problem which has come up because of the renovation.

When I moved to Florida from New York City I wanted to create additional space for my possessions, mainly books and knick knacks I have collected over many years. Knowing that I would be moving into smaller quarters I donated several bookcases filled with my beloved books in New York. And when I got here, I still had too many, so I donated more. The knick knacks had no place to set themselves. They are stored away.

The new bookcases and desk created for me are beautiful and I love them. But they have less room than what I had previously given away to make room for them.  So, as I began to refill the shelves I knew I would have to give away yet more. I looked at each shelf after I had put back as many books as it would hold. There were my cookbooks, most especially treasured French cookbooks, inscribed to me by the famous chefs whose restaurants my husband and I visited over our years together. On another shelf, my spiritual books, which I still consult. On the top shelf, my collection of DVDs of TV series and great movies. There were my books on music, most especially the piano. Another shelf held writing books and some of my published work. And in a separate cabinet, my research books for the novel I’ve been writing since 1991. On the floor were two cartons of books that will never make it to a shelf.

After the books were in place, came the big question: When am I going to read any of them again? “But,” I argued with myself. “they are witnesses to the life I’ve led, to the joys and struggles, the delightful days and dark nights. Giving any more away would be like cutting away a part of me…wouldn’t it?” I mean, it’s hard enough to know I’m 78 and have a lot less ahead than behind. Was I crazy to do this renovation, spend all this money instead of just giving everything away to begin with? I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent trying to answer that question.

 

I called a psychologist friend of mine and asked for some free advice for my unsettling problem. “Right on time,” he said. “You’re doing exactly the right thing that will ultimately make you happy you did it. Give away as much as you can. You’ll feel so much lighter and can move into the next part of your life less encumbered.”

Says you!

But, I know he’s right. I have wanted less and less in my life as I’ve moved though the years. And I’ve given away a great deal. Do I remember what I gave away? Most definitely not. Will I remember what I have to give away now? I doubt it. Then why do I resist? I honestly think I know. It’s because I am in many ways, also resisting the me I’ve become at 78 with bad hips and a back that looks like a shipwreck. And those books and little treasures that I can’t find room for show me the trajectory of my life to this point.  And what is ahead is one big fat question mark. I know I have to become comfortable with that as well. Maybe if I stop hanging on to what served me in the past, I’ll have more room for the ‘now’.  Worth a try.

So, I’ll just sit here awhile and look at where I’ve been and what I’ve done and who I’ve become because of all of it. And then, start filling more boxes. And then…tackle the knick knacks.

I leave you with this: “To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.” Henri Amiel

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-do-i-do-now/201504/making-room-the-now

 



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burns07


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wow--disagree completely--we moved down here with about 4,000 volumes or so--culled that down to maybe 2,500 and we're keeping them--lord, many classics, first editions, OLD collectors volumes, art portfolios, atlases, etc. --between us, we've read them all--books from childhood, gifts from parents & friends, books we've given each other, purchased for ourselves over our lifetimes--each one with its own unique place in either our individual or our common history--each one with its own voice ( particularly the prose )--to re-read something that's been in your possession 20-plus years is to experience it again with a finer eye and a leavened spirit--to revisit the core of the work but perhaps as we now are different, to hear or experience a different aspect of the work's voice--to understand more clearly, to feel more completely--good lord, would never give them away while we're alive


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Lawyerlady


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We are culling down now to move. In this house, we have let our collections become too chaotic and it interferes with our peace. We are giving away or throwing away hopefully about 40% of our belongings and moving to a bigger house, so it will feel like more.

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burns07


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we have let our collections become too chaotic and it interferes with our peace.
________________________________________________________________

understand this--you'd have to see our home, though, to understand--it's moderately-sized but because of how it's arranged, it feels like two or three times its actual size--we like simple, we like empty, we like clean with a lot of light & texture

we're going to build the next one and it will have a dedicated library ( Monticello style ) with room for what we now have and a bunch more

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I know what to do_sometimes


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I have purged so much including items that I just liked to have, to look at, as they reminded me of certain places in my life. I've started giving, donating, selling things. The thing is, my memory of those items are still alive and I don't really need the tangible evidence. Its a very freeing feeling. There is on piece of furniture I am wrestling with selling. I love the piece. it's an antique secretary, about 125 YO. Its a beautiful piece and is a family heirloom. And probably worth a bunch. Still thinking about that one. When I do retire and downsize, it will have to go.

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Frozen Sucks!

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Lawyerlady wrote:

We are culling down now to move. In this house, we have let our collections become too chaotic and it interferes with our peace. We are giving away or throwing away hopefully about 40% of our belongings and moving to a bigger house, so it will feel like more.

 I love to cull.  biggrin



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Lawyerlady


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

I have purged so much including items that I just liked to have, to look at, as they reminded me of certain places in my life. I've started giving, donating, selling things. The thing is, my memory of those items are still alive and I don't really need the tangible evidence. Its a very freeing feeling. There is on piece of furniture I am wrestling with selling. I love the piece. it's an antique secretary, about 125 YO. Its a beautiful piece and is a family heirloom. And probably worth a bunch. Still thinking about that one. When I do retire and downsize, it will have to go.

 YOu always need a secretary.  I would not sell that one for anything.  You do need SOME furniture.



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