DEAR ABBY: I am 23 years old, working full-time as a teacher and I'm about to move out of my parents' house. I have decided to have breast augmentation surgery, and I know the best time to do it would be this summer so I'll have time to recover before school starts.
The problem is my parents are adamantly against my having this surgery. I've heard it all: "I wish you loved your body the way it is." "That's so superficial," and "You'll regret it!"
I would wait until I move out, but my new place (which is being built) won't be finished until the end of the school year. I have postponed this surgery for several years, and now I have the money and I'm ready. How can I please my parents and also please myself? -- TIRED OF WAITING
DEAR TIRED OF WAITING: Have another talk with your folks and explain that while they may wish you loved your body the way it is, you don't. Tell them that you don't feel wanting the surgery is superficial and that you feel it will give you confidence about your appearance that you don't have now.
The decision about whether to have plastic surgery is a personal one. No one should make it "for" you; the choice should be yours and yours alone. If you decide later that you regret it, you can have the implants removed. Some women have done that -- but most women don't.
I do know how the parents feel. My dd had hers reduced in college and I hated that she felt so insecure about her body and also surgery can have risk so there is the fear of something bad happening to her. She did get it done and she was much happier with her.
The lW is old enough to make her own choice and is old enough to know what she wants.
A reduction is different than augmentation IMHO. A reduction to me is more about comfort and reducing pain and being able to wear clothing comfortably and being able to find bras that fit. An augmentation makes me wonder if the person has self esteem issues in a way that a reduction doesn't to me. Maybe that's because I desperately want a reduction!
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I once dated (for a year) a young woman (21) whose breasts were very small.
Apparently I was the first guy she dated who made her feel good about herself.
She originally told me she didn't want me to touch her there because "you'll laugh at me." Why? "Because I'm so small".
I told her "only a fool would laugh at you," which I believed then and still believe.
There have always been guys who care a lot more about a woman's breast size than about HER, her personality, her intelligence, her work ethic, her feelings about life, her family, her capacity to love.
These seem to be the same guys who buy muscle cars / trucks to show off so they can feel superior to their "friends".
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
A reduction is different than augmentation IMHO. A reduction to me is more about comfort and reducing pain and being able to wear clothing comfortably and being able to find bras that fit. An augmentation makes me wonder if the person has self esteem issues in a way that a reduction doesn't to me. Maybe that's because I desperately want a reduction!