DEAR HARRIETTE: I just turned 40, and I am having a bit of a hard time with this aging process. Almost to the day, I found out that I need reading glasses. I feel like my bones ache. I know this probably sounds silly or overly self-conscious or something, but I'm worried that now that I have reached this age, everything is falling apart. My life isn't at all as I had imagined it, that's for sure. I am not married. I do not have kids. I have an OK job, but that's not what I thought my life would be like when I was dreaming it up as a little girl. How can I be comfortable in my skin at this point? Please don't suggest that I take a class or anything corny like that. I just want to feel like my life still matters. -- Over the Hill, Detroit
DEAR OVER THE HILL: On the one hand, it is wise to assess your life at key moments. Turning 40 is one of them, for sure. Be kind to yourself in the process, though. Yes, the body changes as we age. Even more, our goals and dreams often don't match our accomplishments. That doesn't mean that your life is a wash. Step back and consider what you have done that makes you feel proud. Write it down so that you have tangible evidence of what your life means to you. If you also notice things that you want to change or do differently in the future, embrace those, too.
I found turning 40 to be empowering because I really felt like I was getting to know myself better. Instead of licking your wounds, choose to see your life up to now as a personal accomplishment. Then look to the future with conviction. You can be your best self. It's up to you what that means.
I remember thinking that if the average lifespan is 80, then I was half done.
That did all kinds of wonders for me.
I thought about what I wanted the next 40 years to be like. I made a plan. All the kids would be out of school by the time I was 47 and I was going to travel as much as I could.
And now I am 45 and need help going to the grocery store.
Moral of this story? Don't wait till someday to do the things you want.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I had a lot of fun in my 30's, so when I reached 40, I was proud of my accomplishments. And I figured it was time to settle down and start a family, which I did. So while there are things I have yet to do & see, I'm pretty happy so far.
I had more troubles hitting 29. So I re-evaluated, and took action.
You know that beautiful sparkly sweater you got several Christmases ago? WEAR IT!
That bottle of expensive bath oil? USE IT!
That pretty (and hopefully sexy) nightgown? PUT IT TO USE!
Treat yourself and your spouse TODAY - don't save it for next year or next week.
And in the same vein -
Make spouse his/her favorite meal TODAY
Maintain your vehicle/home with regular maintenance
Hug your family
Always end a phone conversation with your spouse with "I love you".
You know that beautiful sparkly sweater you got several Christmases ago? WEAR IT! That bottle of expensive bath oil? USE IT! That pretty (and hopefully sexy) nightgown? PUT IT TO USE!
Treat yourself and your spouse TODAY - don't save it for next year or next week.
And in the same vein -
Make spouse his/her favorite meal TODAY Maintain your vehicle/home with regular maintenance Hug your family Always end a phone conversation with your spouse with "I love you".
Love your attitude on life. Wish you were part of my family!
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
You know that beautiful sparkly sweater you got several Christmases ago? WEAR IT! That bottle of expensive bath oil? USE IT! That pretty (and hopefully sexy) nightgown? PUT IT TO USE!
Treat yourself and your spouse TODAY - don't save it for next year or next week.
And in the same vein -
Make spouse his/her favorite meal TODAY Maintain your vehicle/home with regular maintenance Hug your family Always end a phone conversation with your spouse with "I love you".
You know that beautiful sparkly sweater you got several Christmases ago? WEAR IT! That bottle of expensive bath oil? USE IT! That pretty (and hopefully sexy) nightgown? PUT IT TO USE!
Treat yourself and your spouse TODAY - don't save it for next year or next week.
And in the same vein -
Make spouse his/her favorite meal TODAY Maintain your vehicle/home with regular maintenance Hug your family Always end a phone conversation with your spouse with "I love you".
Love your attitude on life. Wish you were part of my family!
Me too. I've met them.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
That was my New Year's resolution. I call it "light the candles". Do you have candles as decorations that you never light? Are you saving them for something? Light the candles. Use the good china. Open the good bottle of wine. Dont wait for someday.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
You can either choose to look at the positives or choose to look at the negatives!
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou