Q. Disrespectful Teenage Daughter: My stepdaughter is 14 years old, and has demonstrated problematic behavior toward me recently, in my opinion. I have been with her mother since 2013, and the girl has radically changed her whole identity. My wife and I are moderate liberals, while my stepdaughter is now a left-wing lesbian. She has cut her hair short, prefers listening to abrasive music, and has made friends with other “LGBTQ,” or whatever the current acronym is. We are an accepting family, and we know several gay people. My family and most of my friends are rather conservative, though, and I would like my stepdaughter to at least put on a dress when we see them, and also refrain from mentioning things about her politics and sexuality. Her mom disagrees, and as a result, we are banned from family events, and I have lost friends. The girl says I can’t decide these things or punish her, since her parents approve of her new identity. Should I keep pushing her and her mom, so that I can retain my other relationships, or should I simply cut my losses?
A: Cut your losses as in divorce your wife because your teenager stepdaughter is a teenager? I hope you know that radically changing one’s identity is a common teenage behavior. Announcing one’s sexual orientation is also something that can happen during the teen years. If your family and friends have never met a teenager, or are so narrow-minded that they can’t be polite to one who is a “left-wing lesbian,” then I would hope you’d say that you agree with not seeing them anymore because their behavior toward your family is not acceptable to you. If your stepdaughter is actually being rude to you, then you calmly point that out and ask her to change her tone. But it’s your friends and family who sound as if they’re the ones who need to examine their behavior.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
Why is the daughter invited to go out with the parents when they visit friends? And if she is misbehaving, why is she allowed to go where she is not wanted. Sorry, regardless of her rebellion of the day, socially acceptable behavior needs to be enforced. Any teen who spouts a strong opinion where it is not wanted needs to learn they will be left out. Not every occasion is for politics or sexual lifestyle conversations. I don't like how the SF mentions "wearing a dress".
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Well, not every event is ALL ABOUT YOU. And, yes, she should be MADE to act in respectful ways towards his family. Now, what that means exactly we can discuss. I don't think it means wearing a dress. But, i think she could be respectful and not barf out all her political views and learn how to talk about the "weather" and "school work" and learn how to interact socially with other people in those kinds of situations.
Well, not every event is ALL ABOUT YOU. And, yes, she should be MADE to act in respectful ways towards his family. Now, what that means exactly we can discuss. I don't think it means wearing a dress. But, i think she could be respectful and not barf out all her political views and learn how to talk about the "weather" and "school work" and learn how to interact socially with other people in those kinds of situations.
I really like this post.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I had a grandmother who would not let you in her house if you didn't have on a skirt or dress. Period.
That is how she was raised and how she and grandfather raised their kids and they didn't compromise.
Females wore dresses.
I don't see the big deal in dressing for where you are going. That may mean a dress.
As a child, she is to respect her parents. If that means a dress, then wear the dress.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I agree with Lily - The host's house, the host's rules. If it is tradition for women to wear dresses, than the child should wear a dress and mom should support this. It doesn't mean that she doesn't support the daughter's other life choices, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do and the child needs to learn this. If the child doesn't want to, than the child misses out.
