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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: Grandpa is Overscheduling my kids.
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Grandpa is Overscheduling my kids.
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DEAR ABBY: My father always wanted a son, but he and Mom had only one child -- me. Now that I am the mother of two boys, he has taken over their schedule and signs them up for activities they often are not interested in pursuing. This results in my spending my time away from work taking them to activities and sports they don't enjoy.

How can I respectfully tell Dad I don't want him doing this? He often calls my children and me lazy if we say we don't want to participate in the swimming, karate, soccer, baseball, gymnastics and other activities he constantly signs them up for. We just want some downtime once in a while. This has caused many angst-ridden arguments. Please help! -- NOT INTERESTED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Everyone enjoys downtime once in a while, but if your children are spending their days sitting around, your father may have a right to be concerned. Daily physical exercise is important for good health.

Because none of the activities your father has chosen "for" your sons appeals to them, talk with them, suggest they choose a sport that does interest them and have them sign themselves up for it. Then inform your dad that you no longer want to hear critical comments about your boys because they are not constructive, and if it doesn't stop, he will be seeing less of all of you.

P.S. Because your dad signed his grandkids up for activities, I'm mystified that he wasn't more involved in providing their transportation.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/5/1/speedy-diagnosis-is-essential-for-treatment



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Wow, the GP has no right to do this, but the mother needs to set boundaries.

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So don't go. He signs them up for hula hoop classes and they don't want to go and you don't want to take them...don't take them. Duh.

By continuing to actually GO to these classes she is failing to assert herself as the one in charge.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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How about 'Thanks for thinking of the boys Dad. But, we have other things on our agenda so we won't be able to commit to those things". And , from now on, if you think my kids might want to sign up for something you really need to discuss that with me first."

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I wonder if there is a weight problem the grandfather is trying to alleviate.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Good point. Or maybe he is just trying to relive his youth. Either way, it's not really his business.

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Agreed. I also wonder if she lives at home with her children, and Grandpa is trying to keep them busy and away from the video games. How else would he know if they were just sitting around?

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This is one of the dumber questions. Don't go. And I'd be taking a step back until he could be respectful.

Is he paying for these? It's even worse if he is signing them up and letting Mom pay for it and shuttle them around. DD is only in two activities right now and I stay home and it is still busy.

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Mary Zombie


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Yeah...um....
How do some people get through the day?


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Lawyerlady


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Baby J has dance on Tuesday nights, and soon, she will have swimming on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays.

DD11 has tennis on Monday afternoon - but my friend takes her, and then piano and youth choir both on Wednesday evenings.

Those things kill me and it is way more than enough.

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My kids have religious education on Sundays. They get shots once a week. That's enough for me. They were doing swimming every week and got burnt out.



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lilyofcourse


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My kids always gravitated to the same basic things.

C did theatre and chorus. J and A tried a few different things, football, chorus, theatre, but never cared for it.

J is a gamer and A works with sound systems.

I was never going to push them into anything. If they wanted to do something, fine.

I remember over scheduleing myself and I wanted to.make sure they enjoyed what they wanted to do.

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