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ed11563


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teacher at a very needy school
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Dear Prudie,
I am a veteran public school teacher at a very needy school. I work in a small group setting with students who have academic trouble. I love my job and I love my students. However, I find myself having a very hard time enjoying the holiday season knowing the dire living situations that some of my kids are in. I report to authorities what is actionable. I buy snacks and coats when I can, and have even bought alarm clocks for kids whose parents aren’t getting them up to come to school. My school has some good programs to help fill the gaps. But when I am buying groceries or Christmas presents, I think, “How is it that some of my kids have food and presents and so many others at my school will be spending Thanksgiving break just waiting for school to open back up so they can have two meals a day and a safe place to be?” With SNAP benefits being cut, so many more of our school families are struggling. My husband is very supportive and never fusses at me for the things I buy for students, but he does encourage me to let go of the worries while I am at home. Do you have any advice?

—A Teacher

Dear Teacher,
Thank you for this reminder of what the spirit of the holiday season is really all about, and how grateful so many of us should be for simply knowing there will a warm bed tonight and food tomorrow. Your devotion is admirable, and so is your ability to make a difference in such an individual way. You should find solace that day in, day out, year in, year out, you are working to heal the world. But you have to keep in mind that you are like a doctor who treats the sickest patients. Yes, you should bring compassion to your task, but you can’t do your job to the best of your ability if you’re overwhelmed with the pain of the people you’re helping. You have to be able to put a limit on your worries so that you can recharge. You are also carrying too much of this burden alone. You can’t be the main community resource for these kids. There must be organizations that work to provide coats, food, and Christmas presents, to which you can pass along the names of your pupils. Enlist some of the school administrators to help make this happen. The work you do with your students can help them make better lives for themselves. So it’s essential for you, and them, that you don’t get burned out.

—Prudie

 



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huskerbb


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Dear teacher;

This is called reality. Some of your students have losers for parents, some don't.

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ed11563


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huskerbb wrote:

Dear teacher;

This is called reality. Some of your students have losers for parents, some don't.

Are you saying, "That's life, nothing you do matters, you can't really do anything for kids with loser parents, so don't even try"? 

 



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ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Dear teacher;

This is called reality. Some of your students have losers for parents, some don't.

Are you saying, "That's life, nothing you do matters, you can't really do anything for kids with loser parents, so don't even try"? 

 

 Ed, what can the teacher do for the kids of loser parents? They can educate them to the extent the kids will learn, but what else do you expect?  The teacher cannot provide presents for Christmas and clothes.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Some kids have sucky parents. That is the luck of the draw. And, sorry, but you can't save the world. Lazy, irresponsible people who won't take care of even their own flesh and blood children are always going to be lazy, irresponsible people and a bottomless pit of "need".

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ed11563


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Dear teacher;

This is called reality. Some of your students have losers for parents, some don't.

Are you saying, "That's life, nothing you do matters, you can't really do anything for kids with loser parents, so don't even try"? 

 

 Ed, what can the teacher do for the kids of loser parents? They can educate them to the extent the kids will learn, but what else do you expect?  The teacher cannot provide presents for Christmas and clothes.

Yes, I thought I was responding the Husker's fatalism. 



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ed11563


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Some kids have sucky parents. That is the luck of the draw. And, sorry, but you can't save the world. Lazy, irresponsible people who won't take care of even their own flesh and blood children are always going to be lazy, irresponsible people and a bottomless pit of "need".

There is a saying I've heard many times from Jews: If you save one life, you save the world. 

This teacher has been collecting coats and good used clothing from friends and organizations she belongs to, and taking those things to school.

She may have already saved a life or two, and she is showing at least SOME of the kids that there really are some compassionate people around.

 

That's not a bad thing.

The problem is she is trying to do too much and she's getting burned out. She probably needs to lower her expectations for herself.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I agree, you can help one or two. Charity truly does begin at home. Too many people ignore their own communities and neighbors. You dont' have to travel overseas to do mission work.

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huskerbb


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ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Dear teacher;

This is called reality. Some of your students have losers for parents, some don't.

Are you saying, "That's life, nothing you do matters, you can't really do anything for kids with loser parents, so don't even try"? 

 

 No.  I was answering her question.



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I agree, you can help one or two. Charity truly does begin at home. Too many people ignore their own communities and neighbors. You dont' have to travel overseas to do mission work.

 I kinda agree with this.  Pick out one or two of the neediest or whatever or however you decide.  Obviously she has the means to help out.  I would pick out one or two and focus on them.

She can't change the world.  She can't change everything.  But kindness is never wrong.  She can't go wrong being kind.  She just needs to put it in perspective.  So even if she just changes a child's life for one year that's still something.  Things like that are things kids look back on.



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