Q. Gender Render: My wife owns a dance school and recently received an unusual request for private ballet lessons. At first, she believed the inquiring father was seeking instruction for a male child (around 10) who self-identifies as female. No problem in that case. However, the father revealed that the boy (let’s call him Daniel) is being raised as a girl for two years as a “project” so he’ll be a more enlightened adult. The ballet lesson experience was to include dressing him in a pink tutu and calling him Danielle. My wife declined, saying this contradicts her professional ethic of promoting her art as a vehicle for healthy self-expression. Problem solved, I suppose, except as parents, we can’t shake the idea that this is emotional abusive (our son would certainly find it a form of torture). But I don’t know that there’s anything illegal about it. Is there any way to help this poor kid, short of mildly implying (as my wife did in her last message) that this may not be in his best interests?

A: You’re right that if this is as described to you—a male child without gender dysphoria is being raised for two years as a girl for the purposes of enlightenment—then that is serious abuse. How pathetic that being female, to these parents, means reducing a child to a cliché of pink tutus. Your wife was right to refuse this offer. I hope there are caring people who know this family who can help. But if they are actually in the midst of carrying out this awful experiment, there may not be. I know all the downsides of calling Child Protective Services, but in this case, I think a call is warranted. Someone needs to look into this situation and if necessary intervene with parents who are horribly using their child for some bizarre social purpose.