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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Prudie: Doctor Doesnt' Like Employees Touching Him
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Prudie: Doctor Doesnt' Like Employees Touching Him
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Dear Prudence,
I am a male pediatrician in a small group practice. I have two female employees, one in her 60s and one in her 40s, who are great with patients but who are both are in the habit of coming up behind me and either playfully scratching my back or rubbing my shoulders. I know it’s meant in a purely friendly way but I hate being touched (I never go for massages, etc.). I don’t want to make this a big deal because I know they will both be upset and embarrassed. But if I were the one doing the unwanted touching, I would have long ago been told not only to stop, but threatened with a harassment suit. I know it should work both ways but I’m not sure it does. We have a parent corporation with an HR department that will address this if I push it, but I’m not sure I want to. Any suggestions?

—Hands Off, Please

Dear Hands Off,
Of course it works both ways. Just because the touching is done by a woman and the recipient is a man does not mean that someone in an office has to put up with feeling violated daily at work. I agree that having these women receive a notice from corporate HR that they are physically harassing you is not a good opening gambit. You say the nature of the touching is friendly, not sexual or aggressive, so address this problem directly with the two rubbers. Ask them to come in your office and then explain without rancor or embarrassment that you know their shoulder rubs are meant as a stress relief, but such touching at the office makes you uncomfortable and actually increases your stress. Say that you should have mentioned this long ago, but you’d appreciate their understanding now. Sure, it’s going to be a little awkward, but you’re a pediatrician, so you should have perfected a manner that’s both calming and authoritative.

 

—Prudie

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/07/dear_prudence_i_can_t_put_my_feet_on_the_coffee_table_according_to_my_fiance.2.html

 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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OMG, you are the boss. Take the the 2 ladies aside and say "I understand you mean to be helpful by doing this, but I am going to ask you to please stop as it is important to maintain our office professionalism". End of story. Geez. Hike up your manskirt. It is one thing if you are not the boss and a subordinate. But, if you are a higher up, then grow a pair.

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Southern_Belle


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

OMG, you are the boss. Take the the 2 ladies aside and say "I understand you mean to be helpful by doing this, but I am going to ask you to please stop as it is important to maintain our office professionalism". End of story. Geez. Hike up your manskirt. It is one thing if you are not the boss and a subordinate. But, if you are a higher up, then grow a pair.

 This.

 



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lilyofcourse


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No kidding.

Nut up squirrel.



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Actually, given how people sue so much today, he really should have the discussion in a place with witnesses.

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Vette


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I can see why he would be hesitant to say something, it always sucks having to embarrass people and make things awkward.

In my job I work predominantly with men and I frequently have situations where someone will say something or playfully touch me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. And yeah, I have to deal with it but just knowing it needs to be dealt with doesn't make it any easier. After all I have to work with these guys day in and day out, not to mention I don't want to be labeled as the girl who might take you to hr for every little thing.

So it's easy to sit back as a third party observer and chastise him for not "growing" a pair, but maybe look at this from a human being point of view rather than the perfectly functioning robots that some people seem to be here.

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VetteGirl wrote:

I can see why he would be hesitant to say something, it always sucks having to embarrass people and make things awkward.

In my job I work predominantly with men and I frequently have situations where someone will say something or playfully touch me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. And yeah, I have to deal with it but just knowing it needs to be dealt with doesn't make it any easier. After all I have to work with these guys day in and day out, not to mention I don't want to be labeled as the girl who might take you to hr for every little thing.

So it's easy to sit back as a third party observer and chastise him for not "growing" a pair, but maybe look at this from a human being point of view rather than the perfectly functioning robots that some people seem to be here.

 I agree it's going to be uncomfortable but the longer he waits the more uncomfortable it will be.



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karl271


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Yes, waiting is definitely not the thing to do. He should address it right now!

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TrudyML


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I had a guy grabbing at me. I caught his hand twisted his wrist and flung him. That never happened again.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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If he goes to HR, he's a nitwit.

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Mellow Momma


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

If he goes to HR, he's a nitwit.

 Well he already went to Prudie, he isn't much of a thinker! Lol How did he get through med school with all those pesky decisions and things?! Lol



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ed11563


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I've known a lot of doctors who were great at medicine, and not so great as businessmen.

Some do okay once their spouse takes over managing their practice and controlling the money.

Some do okay only because they have a LOT of money coming in all the time .

 



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karl271


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TrudyML wrote:

I had a guy grabbing at me. I caught his hand twisted his wrist and flung him. That never happened again.

 Since the situation is reversed, I wonder what would happen to the Doctor.   Some kind of law suit or who knows.   Yes, the law applies to both men and women, but reality does not always work that way...



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