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totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> I think there are some concerns here--just not the ones he thinks
Post Info TOPIC: I think there are some concerns here--just not the ones he thinks
huskerbb


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I think there are some concerns here--just not the ones he thinks
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DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Jasper," says I'm weird for talking to my daughter while I'm driving to work and 90 percent of the time on my commute back home. She's a young mother with a 1-year-old and a 4-year-old. Her husband is "difficult," and there are also some personal issues -- but I am proud of how well she's doing.

I work full time and she works part time, so even though we live in the same town, we don't see each other as often as we'd like. At 25, she is growing into my best friend, and I love helping her through decisions, etc. I don't agree that this is weird at all. I believe most mothers and daughters do this.

How can I get through to my fiance that this is normal? Even if it weren't, it isn't getting in his way or taking anything away from him. Don't you agree he should just let it be? -- GOOD MOTHER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GOOD MOTHER: Yes, I do. If your fiance had said he was concerned that you might get into an accident because your conversations were distracting, I would answer differently. However, that he would label your closeness to your daughter "weird" makes me wonder if he might be jealous of the bond you share with her. Are you giving him his fair share of your attention?



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huskerbb


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Jasper needs to really butt out of this mother/daughter relationship.

Also, it's not a bad thing to be close with, and even friends with, your adult children.

That said, there is a VERY fine line between being "helpful" with major life decisions--and interfering.

Many a marriage has been sunk by a well-intentioned mother-in-law (or maybe not so well-intentioned) butting in and giving advice with only half the information.

Even if they stay married, mom already has a less than positive opinion of her daughter's husband, and likely won't be very supportive of the marriage or any decisions the husband might make.

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Lawyerlady


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He's a control freak waiting for the bonds of matrimony to get worse and drive a wedge between mom and daughter. She should take it as the sign it is.

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Lawyerlady wrote:

He's a control freak waiting for the bonds of matrimony to get worse and drive a wedge between mom and daughter. She should take it as the sign it is.

 Pretty much.  None of his business that they talk every day unless it's cutting into his time with her in an impactful way.



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