DEAR ABBY: My widowed 86-year-old mom was living by herself. My unmarried sister, "Anne," has become ill and has moved in with Mom. Anne wanted a dog. At first Mom was against it because they both have cats, but she finally gave in and Anne got a year-old beagle mix from the dog rescue.
I have been afraid of dogs since I was little. My family knows this. Usually, once I get to know a dog I'm OK, and I have had several of my own. But this animal has abandonment and abuse issues. He's very aggressive and barks, growls and lunges at anyone who comes into the house. It makes me afraid, so I have quit visiting and hardly ever drop by.
Mom and Anne have very little control over the dog. I worry that in an emergency -- whether for Mom or Anne --- the EMTs would not be able to get past the animal. What can I do? -- SCARED IN IOWA
DEAR SCARED: Explain to them that not all emergency medical technicians (EMTs) have been formally trained to handle unruly or vicious animals, and precious time might be lost. If your sister or mother wasn't around to control the dog and the EMTs were unable to lure it to another room, animal control would have to be summoned or a neighbor found who could assist, and the consequences could be serious. Then cross your fingers that nothing bad happens.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
A one year old dog is still a puppy. There is no way an elderly woman and a sickly daughter are up for training a puppy - especially one with issues. I have a hard time believing a rescue gave them this dog. Most rescues are super strict on who they will give their animals to and would have required someone more active and capable lived there. These women are in no position to raise a dog. Maybe an older dog would be better. But this is a recipe for disaster.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP.
Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something.
Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it.
What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP. Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something. Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it. What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
A beagle or any other dog can be vicious if raised with abuse.
I am like the OP, I am afraid of dogs, except for mine or others I have gotten to know very very well. Telling someone to just get over it and take the dog to a training class is easier said than done. What are you afraid of Dona? What if I told you to just get over your fear of heights (for example) and go skydiving and quit being a VSS ? It's the same thing. It's not something you can just ignore. And if this dog is in any way aggressive, it's even harder to "get over".
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Plus, the dog will sense her fear and probably get even more aggressive. So asking the sister with the fear of the dog to train it is a recipe for disaster.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP. Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something. Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it. What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
BULLCRAP. She didn't want the damn dog. It's not her responsibility to do that. If the dog owners can't be responsible for the dog--then THEY DONT' NEED A DAMN DOG. The dog is aggressive. If it were me, I'd punt the fvcker about 10 yards and see if he still "lunges". If it bit me, it wouldn't come close to see year two.
A bowl of anti-freeze seems to be in order.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP. Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something. Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it. What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
BULLCRAP. She didn't want the damn dog. It's not her responsibility to do that. If the dog owners can't be responsible for the dog--then THEY DONT' NEED A DAMN DOG. The dog is aggressive. If it were me, I'd punt the fvcker about 10 yards and see if he still "lunges". If it bit me, it wouldn't come close to see year two.
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP. Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something. Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it. What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
BULLCRAP. She didn't want the damn dog. It's not her responsibility to do that. If the dog owners can't be responsible for the dog--then THEY DONT' NEED A DAMN DOG. The dog is aggressive. If it were me, I'd punt the fvcker about 10 yards and see if he still "lunges". If it bit me, it wouldn't come close to see year two.
A bowl of anti-freeze seems to be in order.
So, kick the dog or poison it? Charming.
There is ZERO reason to have an aggressive dog that won't even allow a family member to visit--EVER. You can get a different damn dog.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
My main issue is that the LW--who they KNEW was already nervous around dogs--is now seen by them, and by several on this thread, as somehow being the "bad" guy here.
That's BS. They are IRRESPONSIBLE dog owners who have an aggressive dog that prevents one daughter from visiting her mother.
They knew damn well that this sister was nervous around dogs, yet they got one that they DID NOT NEED, anyway.
It's the other sister who is the selfish one.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP. Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something. Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it. What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
BULLCRAP. She didn't want the damn dog. It's not her responsibility to do that. If the dog owners can't be responsible for the dog--then THEY DONT' NEED A DAMN DOG. The dog is aggressive. If it were me, I'd punt the fvcker about 10 yards and see if he still "lunges". If it bit me, it wouldn't come close to see year two.
A bowl of anti-freeze seems to be in order.
So, kick the dog or poison it? Charming.
There is ZERO reason to have an aggressive dog that won't even allow a family member to visit--EVER. You can get a different damn dog.
There are better ways of dealing with animals than kicking them across the room or feeding them antifreeze.
Don't want the dog? Give it to a shelter. Kicking it is just going to make it more aggressive and disturbed, for the next owner to deal with.
How about sis be proactive, and you know, HELP. Good god, offer to take puppy to a class or something. Seriously, it is a BEAGLE. They are loyal and playful to a fault, sounds like this one just needs a little work, and if elderly frail mom and sick sister are unable to put in the work, but determined to keep the dog, pitch in and help train it. What a whiner. So scared of a beagle she has stopped visiting, what a VSS.
BULLCRAP. She didn't want the damn dog. It's not her responsibility to do that. If the dog owners can't be responsible for the dog--then THEY DONT' NEED A DAMN DOG. The dog is aggressive. If it were me, I'd punt the fvcker about 10 yards and see if he still "lunges". If it bit me, it wouldn't come close to see year two.
A bowl of anti-freeze seems to be in order.
So, kick the dog or poison it? Charming.
There is ZERO reason to have an aggressive dog that won't even allow a family member to visit--EVER. You can get a different damn dog.
There are better ways of dealing with animals than kicking them across the room or feeding them antifreeze.
Don't want the dog? Give it to a shelter. Kicking it is just going to make it more aggressive and disturbed, for the next owner to deal with.
Why does there have to be a "next" owner? It's an aggressive dog. Put it down and get a different one. There are plenty of dogs that need homes. They aren't all worth "saving".
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Most are worth saving. I used to run an ad hoc pitbull rescue out of my home. Cops would call me after raiding drug dealer' homes and say "Madame, we're taking this dog to the SPCA to be gassed. You want it?", and I did. With a little love and patience, they turned into absolutely wonderful dogs. Some families call me to this day to thank me for the wonderful family dog I placed with them, a dog who would take a bullet for them, a dog who would gladly give up it's life to protect their kids.
