TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Prudie: Do I Have to take MIL to Disney?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Oh Hell no! First of all, people who make other people make promises are idiots. Nobody has to promise you anything. She is a grown ass adult and she could have gone to Disney whenever she wanted. Now, if she wants to fund the trip and pay everyone's way and you are cool with that, then fine, yes you need to spend time with her. However, if this is your trip, you don't have to take her along. Geez. I disagree with Prude. What is "churlish" is making people make promises. Personally, I don't allow someone to make a promise like that in the first place. She should have just said, 'we'll see or I don't know" and left it at that, not sign her name in blood.

FNW · Guru

Her child is 10 now. I don't know how old the other one is, but I'm guessing probably close in age. It's not like she has little ones toddling around she needs to worry about.

Take the vacation, take the grandparents, and make some memories. Disney will accommodate their needs.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I disagree. She doesnt' want to travel with them. They have saved a long time for the trip. It is annoying to travel with people whom you don't want to travel with.

FNW · Guru

I can see your point, too, LGS.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I really don't like people who try to make you promise something. I just find that very presumptuous. Promise me you will do such and such. I usually just say, I am sorry, I cannot promise what I will or won't do in the future. Life and circumstances change.

FNW · Guru

When my boys were little and we talked about Disneyland, my mother expressed a desire to be included so she could see the wonder and excitement in the boys' eyes. So we took my parents there, and to DisneyWorld. My mother does not do well with a lot of walking, but my boys get tired out, too, so it was probably about equal. Both times was pretty much a bust. The boys were almost 5 and tired from the previous week at the beach, cranky as hell, and refusing to ride any of the rides. I kept saying, "But this is the happiest place on earth, dammit!" LOL DisneyWorld a year later was much better, but the heat was so atrocious that no one really wanted to be walking around after noon, so we only spent a couple hours at two parks. The next time we go, I doubt my parents would be interested in going with us. I am seriously considering taking them out of school during the school year to return when the weather is nicer and crowds, thinner.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If you want to go as a family, then great, go as a family. We have gone on vacation with parents. But, it is something we all want to do. She obviously doesn't want to travel with them so then don't. So, make a point to spend time with them at some other venue. Maybe a local theme park or whatever that isn't so intense. Disney is a very intense place.
And, some people travel well together and some don't. We have friends that we used to travel with and it was very comfortable. If we wanted to eat out, we sometimes would eat together and do things together and sometimes not. But, not everyone clicks as travel companions.

huskerbb · Guru

This is for hubby to sort out. If he wants mom to go but not dad--he needs to say so.

If he truly thinks moms health is a concern--he needs to say so.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Why is it for hubby to sort out? They need to decide together. Do they want one or both to go or not? She doesn't want to go with either.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Why is it for hubby to sort out? They need to decide together. Do they want one or both to go or not? She doesn't want to go with either.

Because it is his parents.

FNW · Guru

I agree that it is for the couple to decide, but it's up to him to deal with his parents.

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
I agree that it is for the couple to decide, but it's up to him to deal with his parents.

That's what I meant.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

OK. I agree as well.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Oh Hell no! First of all, people who make other people make promises are idiots. Nobody has to promise you anything. She is a grown ass adult and she could have gone to Disney whenever she wanted. Now, if she wants to fund the trip and pay everyone's way and you are cool with that, then fine, yes you need to spend time with her. However, if this is your trip, you don't have to take her along. Geez. I disagree with Prude. What is "churlish" is making people make promises. Personally, I don't allow someone to make a promise like that in the first place. She should have just said, 'we'll see or I don't know" and left it at that, not sign her name in blood.

Whether of not people have to make promises is moot now. She DID make the promise and she should at least offer to keep it.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Oh Hell no! First of all, people who make other people make promises are idiots. Nobody has to promise you anything. She is a grown ass adult and she could have gone to Disney whenever she wanted. Now, if she wants to fund the trip and pay everyone's way and you are cool with that, then fine, yes you need to spend time with her. However, if this is your trip, you don't have to take her along. Geez. I disagree with Prude. What is "churlish" is making people make promises. Personally, I don't allow someone to make a promise like that in the first place. She should have just said, 'we'll see or I don't know" and left it at that, not sign her name in blood.
Whether of not people have to make promises is moot now. She DID make the promise and she should at least offer to keep it.

I tend to agree--but if taking pops was not part of the deal, and it would be a huge pain to do so, then hubby needs to step up and lay it out. It also depends on her health. If she can't get around or stand in the heat for long periods of time, then maybe her window for going to Disneyworld has closed.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Oh Hell no! First of all, people who make other people make promises are idiots. Nobody has to promise you anything. She is a grown ass adult and she could have gone to Disney whenever she wanted. Now, if she wants to fund the trip and pay everyone's way and you are cool with that, then fine, yes you need to spend time with her. However, if this is your trip, you don't have to take her along. Geez. I disagree with Prude. What is "churlish" is making people make promises. Personally, I don't allow someone to make a promise like that in the first place. She should have just said, 'we'll see or I don't know" and left it at that, not sign her name in blood.
Whether of not people have to make promises is moot now. She DID make the promise and she should at least offer to keep it.
I tend to agree--but if taking pops was not part of the deal, and it would be a huge pain to do so, then hubby needs to step up and lay it out. It also depends on her health. If she can't get around or stand in the heat for long periods of time, then maybe her window for going to Disneyworld has closed.

That is true - and MIL should consider that. I would hope she would have enough sense to decline if her health is going to make it difficult on everyone.