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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Harriette: Son Won't Pick Up After Himself
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Harriette: Son Won't Pick Up After Himself
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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying very hard to teach my children to pick up after themselves and be responsible. This is not a new lesson, but as my son approaches puberty, I find that everything that he learned seems to have gone out the window. I ask him to pick up his clothes off the floor, but he grumbles and doesn't do it. It usually takes four or five times to get him to pay attention. I don't want to fuss with him all the time, but I haven't figured out how to get him to do the basics that have always been his responsibilities. Do I punish him daily? How can I get him to step up? -- Consequences, St. Louis

DEAR CONSEQUENCES: Why not have a refresher meeting with your son? Pick a time of day on the weekend when you can get his full attention. Tell him you want to talk to him about the future. Ask him what he's thinking about these days. Don't push too much, but do your best to get him to talk.

Then tell him that as he is growing up, it is really important that he learn how to be responsible at home, at school, in his friendships -- pretty much everywhere. Ask him to agree to be more mindful of his belongings and his home duties. Assure him that his actions reflect his values and point to his integrity or lack thereof. Encourage him to step up for himself and his family. When he forgets, remind him of his integrity.

http://www.uexpress.com/sense-and-sensitivity/2015/9/12/book-lover-seeks-book-loving-friends

 



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Lawyerlady


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Change the wifi password every morning, and don't give it to him until his chores are done.

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lilyofcourse


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No kidding.

Get his attention with serious consequences.

Be the parent.

Push, pull, tug and tow.

Do what you have to do.

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flan327


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Leave the clothes where they are? If he runs out of anything clean to wear...Consequences.

flan

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He's probably just wear dirty clothes. I doubt he'd care.

I like the wifi password changing suggestion.

Personally, every now and then the boys stop doing what they are told. Well, more than every now and then, but okay. When it gets bad, as it is starting to happen again, I start to take away privileges or things that mean a lot to them. #1 enjoys all things sports. So...no sports for a couple days. #2 loves his legos. So no legos for a couple days. Straightens them right up. I usually only have to do it once and then they're good for awhile.

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This woman is hysterical.

First of all...welcome to teenagers. They lose their damn minds when they turn 13/14. They get it back at around 18/19 depending on how quickly they mature. Some don't get it back until they have kids of their own. Everything you have taught them goes out the window and the teen years can be a battle of wills. Guess what? As the parent you need to be stronger willed.

And secondly, what did she do when this boy was younger and didn't behave? I guarantee that method would still work. With some kids, grounding is the key and with others it's taking away something they like. Figure it out.

And last - where is the dad? I would hope he is an equal partner in this and the mom isn't being left to be the bad guy. That isn't fair.

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lilyofcourse


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Mine have always been pretty good about picking up after them selves.

Of course they know if mom gets tired of looking at it, it goes in the trash. No second chances.

I can purge like nobody's business.



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Mary Zombie


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Mom used to throw stuff out too ....mostly my sister. She was a slob. I was always fairly neat except for the pile of clothes on the chair.

I don't think shutting the door is the answer. Kids need to learn to do these things.

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Mellow Momma


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And some people, no matter how much you beg or punish, are just messy people. Some people like order and some don't mind chaos. You can't change it. But you can set the standard in your house and try to get them to care.

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karl271


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LL's suggestions about the wifi password sounds good to me.



-- Edited by karl271 on Monday 14th of September 2015 06:16:24 PM

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lilyofcourse


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Mary Zombie wrote:

Mom used to throw stuff out too ....mostly my sister. She was a slob. I was always fairly neat except for the pile of clothes on the chair.

I don't think shutting the door is the answer. Kids need to learn to do these things.

 I agree. There has to be clear rules. And clear consequences. 

I also think you have to be flexible. 

The main rooms in the house need to be presentable. I don't a pair of shoes at the door but don't leave a trail to your room. 

I don't care if you cook something, just clean up your mess.

I don't care if the bed gets made everyday, but bring your dirty clothes, trash and dishes or whatever out.

It's a balancing act.



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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
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Lawyerlady wrote:

Change the wifi password every morning, and don't give it to him until his chores are done.

 OMG I LOVE this



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