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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: Adoption Causing Family Rift
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Adoption Causing Family Rift
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DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jeff," and I are fostering a 17-year-old girl we plan to adopt. Jeff's mother grew up in foster care, and after learning about her life and hardship, I felt we should help out in this way.

I am a stay-at-home mother with three other children (6, 8 and 14), and we are a very tight-knit family, spending most of our time together. We love our foster daughter and look forward to many good times together.

The problem is my sister. She's very opinionated and has made it obvious that she is against our adopting another child. She feels the decision should have been made by our entire family, including her and my parents. My husband and I disagree, as do our kids.

My relationship with my sister has been strained for most of our lives, so her behavior does not come as a surprise. We would love to hear your opinion about what she said. -- JUST LOOKING TO GIVE BACK

DEAR JUST LOOKING: Since you asked, I think your sister must be living in some kind of alternate reality. If you and your husband want to enlarge your family, it's nobody else's business, and for her to say something like what she did is the height of gall.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/9/21/couples-adoption-of-foster-child-causes



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Oh geez. Why oh why does this LW think she needs her sister's permission.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yeah, tells Sis to BUZZ OFF. However, I don't know if I see the point to adopt a 17 yr old really.

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ed11563


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Yeah, tells Sis to BUZZ OFF. However, I don't know if I see the point to adopt a 17 yr old really.

I think it would give the girl a sense of security, a sense of "family" she might have never had. 

 



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lilyofcourse


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LW needs to tell sis to shove it.

And as for adopting a 17 yr old, why not?

When a child turns 18, they are literally put on the street with what they can call theirs and a see ya round.

This girl is so blessed to have a family.


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It also creates inheritance rights for the child which carries into adulthood.

My old boyfriend's mother had two children from a first marriage. BF's father later adopted these children when their bio father died. "Step" was a dirty word and not allowed to be used. I think the "children" were near age of majority when the adoption took place.

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Adoption gives them many rights. If they are going to college it matters. It makes a lot of difference on a lot of things. Sure, emotionally it might not matter but legally the issues are there. And they need to tell Sis it's their decision and to sod off.

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