Q. Brother’s Keeper: Today is my brother’s birthday. About a year ago, I cheated on my girlfriend and confided in him. My girlfriend has since forgiven me, and we’ve worked hard to move on and leave the past behind us, but she found out that my brother knew about my infidelity and has carried a hateful resentment ever since. She believes if he had any honor or respect for women then he would have ratted me out or at least tried harder to stop me. She forbid me to see him for months, and I reluctantly agreed until I finally broke down and told her I can’t be with her if she forces me to choose between her and my brother. He and I live in the same city and were fairly close until this happened. I see him from time to time now, and we have several mutual friends, but she still refuses to have anything to do with him, and there’s a lot of tension whenever he comes up. My brother is nonconfrontational to say the least, and prefers to just ignore the situation and make the most of our rare time together. Is my girlfriend merely protecting herself as she claims, or has her bitterness gone too far?
A: Keep the brother, lose her. She thinks infidelity is a nearly unforgivable offense, yet she has forgiven you. But she won’t forgive your brother for being told by you what you did. She actually has never forgiven you. She is going to make you pay for your transgression every day—your brother just happens to be the most convenient target. So go celebrate your brother’s birthday. Invite her to come along when you take your brother out. If she won’t go, fine. But if she tries to forbid you, you go without her. (How does she “forbid” you from seeing your brother? She locks you in your room?) You stepped out on your girlfriend for some reason. Now you have ample reason to end your relationship permanently.
__________________
The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
