TOTALLY GEEKED!

Tangerine · Guru

Crapsicles

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Oh, I'm so very sorry.

Think it over, and, in the end, you have to trust your gut instincts. No one else will advocate for your child.

{hugs}

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think you are overreacting to decide that the VP doesn't like your kid or thinks they are "bad" for punishing him for making loud noises in the hall. My rule is that if you are disciplined at school, you get disciplined at home. I would be far more interested to have him learn to behave in an appropriate and acceptable way. I would not take this personally and work with the school in regards to the IEP to learn acceptable behavior.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Tangerine wrote:
Bunny got another referral today. The vice principal (the same woman who was in charge of his discipline for the last incident) came across him in the hallway "making very loud noises". When she told him to stop, he didn't and yelled no at her so she took him to the office to write him up.
Then it sounds like he had a major meltdown because he was missing some activity he enjoyed. I wasn't able to get a clear answer on what the activity was, which would have been nice to know to help me talk to him about this.

Im freaking out and I don't know what to do. Maybe I am being totally paranoid, but it seems like the vicd principal has decided that Bunny is a "bad kid" and she s already singleing him out.
They are sending home paperwork.
the thing that is really upsetting is that the behaviors she described today are all adressed in his IEP. The school knows he has these issues, so why is he being punished instead of corrected??
should I schedule a meeting to discuss his IEP with his teacher and the vice principal? Or would that make me one of "those moms" and just make the situation worse?

YES. If this is included in his IEP, the regular teachers obviously need to be educated. A frank - why isn't this being addressed in accordance with his IEP? - is in order.

Lindley · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
Bunny got another referral today. The vice principal (the same woman who was in charge of his discipline for the last incident) came across him in the hallway "making very loud noises". When she told him to stop, he didn't and yelled no at her so she took him to the office to write him up.
Then it sounds like he had a major meltdown because he was missing some activity he enjoyed. I wasn't able to get a clear answer on what the activity was, which would have been nice to know to help me talk to him about this.

Im freaking out and I don't know what to do. Maybe I am being totally paranoid, but it seems like the vicd principal has decided that Bunny is a "bad kid" and she s already singleing him out.
They are sending home paperwork.
the thing that is really upsetting is that the behaviors she described today are all adressed in his IEP. The school knows he has these issues, so why is he being punished instead of corrected??
should I schedule a meeting to discuss his IEP with his teacher and the vice principal? Or would that make me one of "those moms" and just make the situation worse?

I would do this. At least you can find out why the vp gave him a referral and that all of you will be on the same page.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Yes. Schedule a meeting.

And yes. Kids with IEPs are often labeled as bad kids.

Be proactive. If you have to be "that parent" then so be it.

I had to get in some faces over Jesse. Even had to threaten a law suit once. That seemed to do it.

Make the appointment, don't go alone either. Listen to what is said. Take a list of questions with you.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Most teachers want to talk to parents. If you have concerns you should go talk to the teacher for sure.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Just from what you've said, it doesn't sound like he is being singled out or labeled a bad kid. How should she have handled it according to his IEP? If she didn't do it correctly, they yes, you should definitely address that.

I know at DD's school they are expected to be very quiet in the halls because other students are in class, so they would be noticed if they are being loud and corrected. The yelling 'no' seems like what he is being punished for.

Tangerine · Guru

Okay. After looking over the paperwork it looks like this was handled according to his IEP.
She made it sound like there was going to be an additional punishment besides missing the activity.

I do think that Bunny should be quiet in the halls and follow directions, but those are things he really struggles with.
I expect them to start talking about ADHD and medicating him before the year is out.

I know I was leaping to conclusions about the vice principal, I'm just going to let this lie for now.

Of course we will be talking to Bunny about how to behave. We do that every day.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Hang in there, Tig.

You're a good parent.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tangerine wrote:
Okay. After looking over the paperwork it looks like this was handled according to his IEP.
She made it sound like there was going to be an additional punishment besides missing the activity.

I do think that Bunny should be quiet in the halls and follow directions, but those are things he really struggles with.
I expect them to start talking about ADHD and medicating him before the year is out.

I know I was leaping to conclusions about the vice principal, I'm just going to let this lie for now.

Of course we will be talking to Bunny about how to behave. We do that every day.

Can I offer a little advice from one parent to another?

Jesse had a lot of trouble in elementary school.

And I was so worried about his not conforming that I stressed both of us out.

ed11563 · Guru

When they refer you to their favorite doctor to put him on Ritalin,

First, get a second opinion.

Then make up your own mind.

My brother's two sons were put on Ritalin by the school's favorite doctor.

20% of the little boys there were put on Ritalin.

Probably every boy who wasn't a sheep.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I had a doctor tell me a nice trick to try at home.

Give the child a big glass of Mtn. Dew, wait about 10 minutes and sit them down to do their homework.

If they are able to do their homework without the usual problems, then ADHD may be a problem and meds may help.

If not, then all the meds in the world won't help.

Ohfour · Hooker

Im going to be the dissenter here...but if my child had yelled No! At a teacher, I would have tore his ass up. I guarantee, he would have never done that again.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
Im going to be the dissenter here...but if my child had yelled No! At a teacher, I would have tore his ass up. I guarantee, he would have never done that again.

I agree. You address that. Discipline is Uber important.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Be proactive. Tell the school you want a kick off meeting to discuss the issue and the path forward. This will let them know you are concerned and want to correct the behavior, nip it in the bud. Communication goes a long way.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Ohfour wrote:
Im going to be the dissenter here...but if my child had yelled No! At a teacher, I would have tore his ass up. I guarantee, he would have never done that again.

Yeah, me too. But in today's day and age, Bunny may not have yelled as they said, the school systems are hypersensitive to kid's behavior's.

chef · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I had a doctor tell me a nice trick to try at home.

Give the child a big glass of Mtn. Dew, wait about 10 minutes and sit them down to do their homework.

If they are able to do their homework without the usual problems, then ADHD may be a problem and meds may help.

If not, then all the meds in the world won't help.

How does pumping them full of sugar do anything to show they may have ADHD?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I had a doctor tell me a nice trick to try at home.

Give the child a big glass of Mtn. Dew, wait about 10 minutes and sit them down to do their homework.

If they are able to do their homework without the usual problems, then ADHD may be a problem and meds may help.

If not, then all the meds in the world won't help.
How does pumping them full of sugar do anything to show they may have ADHD?

It's the caffeine.

Caffeine does the opposite in a truly hyper child.

Tangerine · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I had a doctor tell me a nice trick to try at home.

Give the child a big glass of Mtn. Dew, wait about 10 minutes and sit them down to do their homework.

If they are able to do their homework without the usual problems, then ADHD may be a problem and meds may help.

If not, then all the meds in the world won't help.
How does pumping them full of sugar do anything to show they may have ADHD?
It's the caffeine.
Caffeine does the opposite in a truly hyper child.

I would have better luck getting him to take a caffeine tablet than drink a soda. Bunny has some sensory issues, he detests carbonation.

I will think about this experiment.

ed11563 · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
chef wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I had a doctor tell me a nice trick to try at home.

Give the child a big glass of Mtn. Dew, wait about 10 minutes and sit them down to do their homework.

If they are able to do their homework without the usual problems, then ADHD may be a problem and meds may help.

If not, then all the meds in the world won't help.
How does pumping them full of sugar do anything to show they may have ADHD?
It's the caffeine.
Caffeine does the opposite in a truly hyper child.
I would have better luck getting him to take a caffeine tablet than drink a soda. Bunny has some sensory issues, he detests carbonation.
I will think about this experiment.

You might try coffee.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Tea.

Tangerine · Guru

He does like tea, he's managed to sneak a few sips of mine a few times.
Pretty sure he wouldn't t drink coffee.

weltschmerz · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
When they refer you to their favorite doctor to put him on Ritalin,
First, get a second opinion.
Then make up your own mind.

My brother's two sons were put on Ritalin by the school's favorite doctor.
20% of the little boys there were put on Ritalin.

Probably every boy who wasn't a sheep.

AGAIN....Ritalin does not work in kids who don't have ADHD. It has the exact opposite effect.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
Im going to be the dissenter here...but if my child had yelled No! At a teacher, I would have tore his ass up. I guarantee, he would have never done that again.

Tang is the parent, it's HER decision. Not every child needs to be spanked.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Im going to be the dissenter here...but if my child had yelled No! At a teacher, I would have tore his ass up. I guarantee, he would have never done that again.
Tang is the parent, it's HER decision. Not every child needs to be spanked.
flan

Maybe so. But part of the problem with our entitled millenials is they were treated as VSS and never got the spankings they needed.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan

And your boys are not everyone.

weltschmerz · Guru

flan327 wrote:
As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan

I never spanked mine, either. You can't teach them not to hit, and then hit them yourself. "I'm allowed to hit because I'm bigger than you." That isn't a message I wanted to send.

There are other ways to deal with misbehaviour.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Thursday 24th of September 2015 01:10:32 AM

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

flan327 wrote:
Hang in there, Tig.

You're a good parent.

flan

I am a GREAT parent. Of course, I only have a dog.

Tang, on the other hand ... a fantastical parent! Even on crapsicles days.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

weltschmerz wrote:
flan327 wrote:
As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan
I never spanked mine, either. You can't teach them not to hit, and then hit them yourself. "I'm allowed to hit because I'm bigger than you." That isn't a message I wanted to send.
There are other ways to deal with misbehaviour.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Thursday 24th of September 2015 01:10:32 AM

Well, that certainly is a stupid message to send. That is not how you handle spanking. If that is the message you would convey when you spank, you are right not to do it.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
flan327 wrote:
As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan
I never spanked mine, either. You can't teach them not to hit, and then hit them yourself. "I'm allowed to hit because I'm bigger than you." That isn't a message I wanted to send.
There are other ways to deal with misbehaviour.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Thursday 24th of September 2015 01:10:32 AM
Well, that certainly is a stupid message to send. That is not how you handle spanking. If that is the message you would convey when you spank, you are right not to do it.

What other message are you sending?

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
flan327 wrote:
As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan
I never spanked mine, either. You can't teach them not to hit, and then hit them yourself. "I'm allowed to hit because I'm bigger than you." That isn't a message I wanted to send.
There are other ways to deal with misbehaviour.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Thursday 24th of September 2015 01:10:32 AM
Well, that certainly is a stupid message to send. That is not how you handle spanking. If that is the message you would convey when you spank, you are right not to do it.
What other message are you sending?
flan

That if you do something wrong, there are consequences. I spank my kids when they do something dangerous they know they shouldn't - like run in a parking lot. The spanking is a lot less painful than getting hit by a car - but it provides a memorable deterrent.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

There are a whole lot of things I can do as the adult in the house that the children cannot do. When they were small - use the stove, drive a car, be home alone, drink wine...etc. Kids are very aware that there are some things adults can do that they are not permitted to do.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mellow Momma wrote:
There are a whole lot of things I can do as the adult in the house that the children cannot do. When they were small - use the stove, drive a car, be home alone, drink wine...etc. Kids are very aware that there are some things adults can do that they are not permitted to do.

Very true. I have been a soda drinker forever, and my kids are not allowed to drink it. The fact is that while soda is bad for everyone, it is worse for growing children.

Of course, I have not had a soda since Saturday so I will not have to worry about that anymore!

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Good for you!!! That's quite the accomplishment. I would miss the caffeine and the sugar...and the taste and the bubbles...

I hope you stick it out. There is hope for the rest of us if you stay clean! Lol

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mellow Momma wrote:
Good for you!!! That's quite the accomplishment. I would miss the caffeine and the sugar...and the taste and the bubbles...

I hope you stick it out. There is hope for the rest of us if you stay clean! Lol

I'm still drinking coffee - so I'm able to avoid the caffeine headache. But other than that - just water and organic milk. I'll make some iced tea this weekend.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
flan327 wrote:
As I've said before, my boys are respectful & hard-working and I never spanked them.

flan
I never spanked mine, either. You can't teach them not to hit, and then hit them yourself. "I'm allowed to hit because I'm bigger than you." That isn't a message I wanted to send.
There are other ways to deal with misbehaviour.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Thursday 24th of September 2015 01:10:32 AM
Well, that certainly is a stupid message to send. That is not how you handle spanking. If that is the message you would convey when you spank, you are right not to do it.
What other message are you sending?
flan
That if you do something wrong, there are consequences. I spank my kids when they do something dangerous they know they shouldn't - like run in a parking lot. The spanking is a lot less painful than getting hit by a car - but it provides a memorable deterrent.

To me, there is a big difference between a swat at the time a child is doing something dangerous and a spanking hours after the behavior occurred.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.

Yes, I understand that. I still don't like it.

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Tang, you are a great mom, do not forget that.

As to Bunny's discipline/behavioral problems (DD has same issues with her oldest DS, he is ADHD), my DD has told her son that she WILL go into the school, in her pj's, take his hand and skip merrily down the hall with him to the principles office if he acts out in school. No behaviors in school so far this year.

Last year, she went and sat with him at lunch time, once. He stopped being a twit for fear of mom showing up again.

DD's son is not on Ritalin, but he is ADHD, on an IEP and the school is very good at following his plan.

Do not be afraid to enforce behavioral rules by going into the school yourself. Talk to the teachers/principle about your concerns and ideas to prevent future outbursts. They really are on your side and will help you.

Tangerine · Guru

Czech, may I ask how old your grandson is? Bunny is almost six, but often acts more like he is3-4 years old.
I don't think he would view my visiting the school as a threat/punishment. More like a special treat.

I have been communicating with his teacher via email. The schools here have more security than the banks.
You have to show your id to a camera to get buzzed into a "holding area" and then fill out paperwork stating the reason for your visit. No wandering the halls, or showing up to have a peek at your kid. There is also a padlocked 8 foot fence surrounding the playground.
I'm glad they take security seriously, but it makes me sad because I remember how welcoming my schools felt when I was a child. I just hope it feels welcoming to the kids.

Tangerine · Guru

If anyone is wondering, Bunny does receive spankings when I feel they are warranted.
That would not be the case hours after an offense I did not witness and he was already punished for.

weltschmerz · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.

I didn't spank at all. I can't very well teach him not to hit, and respond by hitting him. Spanking is still hitting, although your mileage may vary.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Tangerine wrote:
Czech, may I ask how old your grandson is? Bunny is almost six, but often acts more like he is3-4 years old.
I don't think he would view my visiting the school as a threat/punishment. More like a special treat.

I have been communicating with his teacher via email. The schools here have more security than the banks.
You have to show your id to a camera to get buzzed into a "holding area" and then fill out paperwork stating the reason for your visit. No wandering the halls, or showing up to have a peek at your kid. There is also a padlocked 8 foot fence surrounding the playground.
I'm glad they take security seriously, but it makes me sad because I remember how welcoming my schools felt when I was a child. I just hope it feels welcoming to the kids.

Do you mind if I ask what Bunny's IEP is for?

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Tangerine wrote:
Czech, may I ask how old your grandson is? Bunny is almost six, but often acts more like he is3-4 years old.
I don't think he would view my visiting the school as a threat/punishment. More like a special treat.

I have been communicating with his teacher via email. The schools here have more security than the banks.
You have to show your id to a camera to get buzzed into a "holding area" and then fill out paperwork stating the reason for your visit. No wandering the halls, or showing up to have a peek at your kid. There is also a padlocked 8 foot fence surrounding the playground.
I'm glad they take security seriously, but it makes me sad because I remember how welcoming my schools felt when I was a child. I just hope it feels welcoming to the kids.

DGS is 13. He was diagnosed at the age of 6. Peer pressure has set in for him, so the threat of mom showing up at school is a scary thought at his age.

She had to use loss of activities (family/social) when he was younger. In general that worked, but there were just a few times when it did not.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tangerine wrote:
Czech, may I ask how old your grandson is? Bunny is almost six, but often acts more like he is3-4 years old.
I don't think he would view my visiting the school as a threat/punishment. More like a special treat.

I have been communicating with his teacher via email. The schools here have more security than the banks.
You have to show your id to a camera to get buzzed into a "holding area" and then fill out paperwork stating the reason for your visit. No wandering the halls, or showing up to have a peek at your kid. There is also a padlocked 8 foot fence surrounding the playground.
I'm glad they take security seriously, but it makes me sad because I remember how welcoming my schools felt when I was a child. I just hope it feels welcoming to the kids.

The elementary school my kids went to was like that.

The principal ran it like a prison.

I have several friends and family members who worked under her.

The all said she was worse than a warden with everyone.

I witnessed this principle going off on a teacher once.

It was horrible.

Listen to the teachers and other school workers.

See what the over all feel of the school is.

It could be very eye opening.

Another thing. How are Bunny's grades?

Ohfour · Hooker

weltschmerz wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.
I didn't spank at all. I can't very well teach him not to hit, and respond by hitting him. Spanking is still hitting, although your mileage may vary.

I spanked. My kids never hit anyone. I don't even recall that being a discussion. Most kids don't hit...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I spanked when it was warranted.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.
I didn't spank at all. I can't very well teach him not to hit, and respond by hitting him. Spanking is still hitting, although your mileage may vary.
I spanked. My kids never hit anyone. I don't even recall that being a discussion. Most kids don't hit...

Wow! I disagree. I've never known a kid who didn't hit.

flan