DEAR ABBY: Last spring we helped our daughter's longtime friend move out of the college dorm room she shared with our daughter. Her parents are divorced and weren't available to help her move or give us money to help her, and she had just broken up with her boyfriend.
We rented a van and offered to let her stay at our home as long as she helped pay for groceries and got a job. She got the job, but never helped pay for food or did anything around the house, including keeping her room clean.
After two weeks, she and her boyfriend got back together, and she was spending every night with him at his parents' house. She would return to our home to eat, wash clothes, shower and use the Internet. I finally had to tell her this was not acceptable, and that she needed to decide to either live here or move in with her boyfriend. She moved out.
Now, it is uncomfortable when she comes around. I don't feel I did anything wrong, but my daughter thinks I shouldn't have made a big deal out of her sleeping at her boyfriend's house and using our house as a place to park her stuff, eat and wash her clothes. What do you think? -- NO TIME FOR FREELOADERS
DEAR NO TIME: You were generous to be as supportive as you were of your daughter's former roommate. This has nothing to do with her sleeping at her boyfriend's. You asked only that she behave like an adult and contribute by paying for her food and keeping her room clean. She didn't keep her part of the bargain. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable; she should, for not behaving responsibly.
DEAR ABBY: Last spring we helped our daughter's longtime friend move out of the college dorm room she shared with our daughter. Her parents are divorced and weren't available to help her move or give us money to help her, and she had just broken up with her boyfriend.
We rented a van and offered to let her stay at our home as long as she helped pay for groceries and got a job. She got the job, but never helped pay for food or did anything around the house, including keeping her room clean.
After two weeks, she and her boyfriend got back together, and she was spending every night with him at his parents' house. She would return to our home to eat, wash clothes, shower and use the Internet. I finally had to tell her this was not acceptable, and that she needed to decide to either live here or move in with her boyfriend. She moved out.
Now, it is uncomfortable when she comes around. I don't feel I did anything wrong, but my daughter thinks I shouldn't have made a big deal out of her sleeping at her boyfriend's house and using our house as a place to park her stuff, eat and wash her clothes. What do you think? -- NO TIME FOR FREELOADERS
DEAR NO TIME: You were generous to be as supportive as you were of your daughter's former roommate. This has nothing to do with her sleeping at her boyfriend's. You asked only that she behave like an adult and contribute by paying for her food and keeping her room clean. She didn't keep her part of the bargain. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable; she should, for not behaving responsibly.
