Q. Hug Toll: My husband forces me to give him hugs. I know this sounds like a really stupid problem to have. He has created a “hug toll,” and he won’t let me leave the room until I give him a hug. Here are some examples. I am running late for work and need to rush out the door. He will physically block my exit until I give him a hug. He doesn’t do this in a way that will hurt me; he’ll just pick me up until I give him his hug then he’ll let me go. Another scenario is when we are downstairs and I have to use the bathroom. He will block the stairs until I hug him. It’s really annoying. Sometimes I just don’t feel like giving hugs. I have told him this, but he just laughed at me. The hug “tax” is really obnoxious. How do I make it stop? He is 100 pounds heavier than me and a foot taller, so I can’t push my way out. How can I make it stop, Prudence? I love hugging him, just not on command. He’s a hug bully.
A: Your letter makes me think that perhaps it’s time for you to establish a “knee to the balls” tax in response to the “hug tax.” (I have not checked with the IRS for a ruling on this.) This is a stupid problem, because your husband is behaving stupidly, but it’s not a stupid problem in the sense that it is trivial. Your very large husband manhandles you when you’re on your way out the door or even going to the bathroom. This is profoundly not OK. People treat their pets with more respect for their autonomy than he’s giving you. You need to tell him this has to stop—now. Explain that he is undermining the very basis of your marriage, and you cannot continue to feel as if your own home is the equivalent of Checkpoint Charlie.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
How much of an inconvenience can it be to give your spouse a hug? Although I agree, everytime you leave the room is a bit excessive. And I don't know if he always picks her up, that would certainly be annoying.
Ha, or just flail in surprise when he grabs you like it's some kind of reflex you can't help. Once you poke him the eye a few times or a couple of groin shots, then he won't be tackling you for a hug,lol.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
And if you have to, tell him to knock it off and don't back down.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
This would irritate me. I don't like being forced to give affection.
Yep, and when guys do this, they are teasing you, I am not fond of teasing especially when it has to do with forced affection. It would make me not want to hug him ever and drive a wedge between us. I dated a guy like this. And, yes, I told him to stop that I did not like that and he took that as an inspiration to turn it up a notch. I couldn't take it anymore, it really felt like a control thing.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
When she has to pee, she could just pee in the bucket.
When he flips out over it she can explain how the hug toll is to expensive.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
