TOTALLY GEEKED!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Prudie - Chastity Vigilante
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Prudie - Chastity Vigilante
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Dear Prudie - Chastity Vigilante
Permalink  
 

Help! My Teenage Neighbor Has Underage Sex With Her Boyfriend. Should I Call the Police?

Chastity Vigilante

Prudie advises a letter writer who wants to call the police on the teenage girl having sex next door.

By Emily Yoffe
 
Emily Yoffe.Emily Yoffe

Photo by Teresa Castracane.

Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of the chat is below. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Read Prudie’s Slate columns here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.)

 
 

 

Emily Yoffe: Good afternoon. I look forward to your questions.

 

Q. Neighbor’s Teenage Daughter Has Boyfriend Over: I live in a condo next door to a widow with a 16-year-old daughter. This family and I have been friends for a long time, and we get along well and have never had any problems. I’ve been home due to recovering from surgery, and one afternoon after school, I saw the daughter and her boyfriend go into the condo when the mother wasn’t there. I also heard what sounded like loud sex going on in the room on the other side of my home office wall. I brought this to the mother’s attention, and she said she knew about it but would tell them to be quiet. When I asked her why she allowed this, she said she’d rather they be in a safe, comfortable place and have protection than to be sneaking around in parked cars and such. I was absolutely appalled by this and wonder if I can still be friends with these people or if I should call the police, since both of these kids are underage (both 16). Should I turn them in or just turn a blind eye to it?

 
 A: Please give me your address, so I can head over to your house to take away your phone. You need to make a quick recovery and stop snooping on this family. What you heard was loud, mutually desired sex. This was confirmed to you by the mother of the girl. Now that you know that you are next door to two horny teenagers, you have to get out of the business of trying to ruin young people’s lives. If you called the police, I would sincerely hope they would back away once they figured out what was going on. But who knows? We do not need more innocent young people put through the criminal justice system and ending up on the sex offender registry. It’s fine if you no longer wish to be friends with this widow and her daughter, but please just decide to mind your own business and not destroy anyone’s life.


__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
weltschmerz


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 4882
Date:
Permalink  
 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRprWWNvSC10bQtD29Pax73fwPLltTEBa_YVbYgoJ-iYI-IA-xV

 

"Abner! Abner! Someone is having sex! Call the police!"

 

 



__________________
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 



__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Status: Offline
Posts: 38325
Date:
Permalink  
 

The may legally be under age but are both 16.

Mind your own dang business.

__________________

A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
Dona Worry Be Happy


Vette's SS!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2297
Date:
Permalink  
 

Wow. What a jerk.

__________________
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

It's fine to have your own values and to think someone else is raising their child wrong. You are free to think it and feel it. You do not have the right to call the police on them just because you disagree with their parenting style. Unless the child is in danger. This is not one of those cases.

__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

Nebnosers.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
I know what to do_sometimes


Frozen Sucks!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24384
Date:
Permalink  
 

It is good she told the mother, but then butt the heck out!

__________________

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

Frozen is the bestest movie ever, NOT!
I know what to do_sometimes


Frozen Sucks!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24384
Date:
Permalink  
 

weltschmerz wrote:

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRprWWNvSC10bQtD29Pax73fwPLltTEBa_YVbYgoJ-iYI-IA-xV

 

"Abner! Abner! Someone is having sex! Call the police!"

 

 

 Love this!



__________________

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

Frozen is the bestest movie ever, NOT!
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

 

Q. Re: Neighbor’s Teenage Daughter Having Sex : So the letter writer never had sex when she was young? Does she forget how it felt to be young and in love? She told the mom, mom’s OK with it, now let it go. You are very correct: We do not need more innocent people (like this) on the sex offender list, to be followed for the rest of their lives!

A: When I write on this subject, it is very clear that people get it. That is, they think there is madness afoot in our teen sexting laws, etc. But unfortunately, there are very, very few in the political class willing to say we’ve gone too far. So they keep ratcheting up the criminalization and punishments. 

 



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

It amazes me how many people who think just because someone is under the age of 18 there is some type of crime involved in such cases. Complete ignorance of the law.

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

huskerbb wrote:

It amazes me how many people who think just because someone is under the age of 18 there is some type of crime involved in such cases. Complete ignorance of the law.

and vigilantism

and "I'm the only one who's right" syndrome.



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

It amazes me how many people who think just because someone is under the age of 18 there is some type of crime involved in such cases. Complete ignorance of the law.

and vigilantism

and "I'm the only one who's right" syndrome.

But if someone is truly breaking the law--then a call to the cops might be warranted.  This is not such a case.   



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

It amazes me how many people who think just because someone is under the age of 18 there is some type of crime involved in such cases. Complete ignorance of the law.

and vigilantism

and "I'm the only one who's right" syndrome.

But if someone is truly breaking the law--then a call to the cops might be warranted.  This is not such a case.   

Right. 



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

I think the LW needs to mind her own business. She did the right thing telling the mom, but since mom isn't going to do anything about it - it is not LW's place. Now, I understand if LW doesn't feel she wants to be friends, anymore. That's her choice. But calling the cops on a couple of teens having sex with parental blessing is not.

__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

I think the LW needs to mind her own business. She did the right thing telling the mom, but since mom isn't going to do anything about it - it is not LW's place. Now, I understand if LW doesn't feel she wants to be friends, anymore. That's her choice. But calling the cops on a couple of teens having sex with parental blessing is not.

Even if they don't have parental "blessing"--calling the cops is stupid. 

 

I don't disagree with telling mom, necessarily, but calling the cops is dumb.  



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

As long as the girl is using effective birth control, there's no down side to allowing this monogamous relationship to continue.

People think they can keep teenagers chaste ...

but they've either accepted their parents' values on this (by the time they're 12, usually) or they haven't. And 16 y.o. teens having sex is not unusual.

 

The other thing parents might foolishly think is that they can convince teenagers to STOP having sex once they've started.

Nope, probably (almost) never. Once discovered, that pleasure and the hormone-driven behavior isn't going to go away.

 



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
WYSIWYG


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3029
Date:
Permalink  
 

I agree with Lawyerlady. LW did the right thing in telling the mother. But once that was done, she should have butted out.

I also have to admit I do agree with the mother. If they are going to do it (and let's face it, short of keeping our children chained up in a dungeon, if they want to do it, they will find a way), then it's better that it be somewhere safe, with available protection, than in an alley somewhere when they can sneak in a quickie and might forget a condom.

Hopefully children are raised right and will wait until they are adults and at least in a serious committed relationship that's likely to end in marriage, but if that doesn't happen, better safe than them becoming parents (or worse, diseases and stuff).

__________________
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

I think the LW needs to mind her own business. She did the right thing telling the mom, but since mom isn't going to do anything about it - it is not LW's place. Now, I understand if LW doesn't feel she wants to be friends, anymore. That's her choice. But calling the cops on a couple of teens having sex with parental blessing is not.




Well, I agree. Tell the parents what you see. That is fine and used to be done. However, once you toss something into the justice system it can quickly turn into a mess that is out of your control. You don't know what road that can lead to with teens simply being normal teens.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

I just love the title - Chastity Vigilante. Hah!

__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

I just love the title - Chastity Vigilante. Hah!

You're Welcome. 

 



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Prudie - Chastity Vigilante


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard