We've had the other side of the coin with the MIL wanting to KEEP hosting Thanksgiving - now we have the sister who is tired of it.
DEAR ABBY: I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for our family since I was in my mid-20s, with little or no assistance from my sisters or sisters-in-law. They typically show up empty-handed but leave with a generous amount of leftovers. Before my mother passed away 12 years ago, she would at least help.
Since my children and their families live out of state and are unable to come this year, I told one of my sisters-in-law I wouldn't be hosting Thanksgiving this year. Abby, she had a complete hissy fit! She insisted it was "tradition" that we have Thanksgiving at my house, and it's something everyone looks forward to. She even said it's not like I don't have the time since I retired this year.
Yes, I have tried delegating. One year, a sister brought a dessert (cookies in a tin) and the other a bag of rolls. Neither one has ever worked outside the home. I'm tired of cooking for two or three days to feed 15 to 20 people. Am I wrong in wanting a break from doing it all? -- I'M DONE IN FLORIDA
DEAR "DONE": No. You have a right to spend your Thanksgiving any way you wish. Because you didn't mention whether your siblings host Christmas, Easter or Fourth of July celebrations, I'm assuming the answer is no. If that's true, then from my perspective you're at least 12 years overdue for a break. Your sisters and sisters-in-law should have stepped up to the plate and shared the responsibilities you have shouldered alone after your mother passed away, if not before. Shame on them.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Sorry, I'm not hosting the holidays at my house. Would you like to pick a restaurant to meet at?
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
I've had T-day almost every year (with the exception of once or twice) for 11 years. Each year I say I am going to pick up dinner from the club (they offer a wonderful spread to-go) and just heat it up. But there's something about the smell of a turkey roasting in the oven that I just can't part with. But this year I am going to downsize the amounts I make since it's only the 6 of us again this year.
We have hosted Thanksgiving at our home for close to 20 years. DD always makes a dessert, a casserole and a veggie dish. MIL used to make a dessert and bring homemade buns.
It's down to just DD and I cooking now and we manage just fine together. Yup, the family plans on being here at Papa and Grandma's home as usual. I will gladly give up hosting when one of the other kids is ready to take over the job. Until then, I love it.
As to the LW, she should have quit a long time ago. Her siblings are a bunch of leaches. She should travel to one of her kid's home for Thanksgiving, that's if they invite her.
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I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
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Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
We have hosted Thanksgiving at our home for close to 20 years. DD always makes a dessert, a casserole and a veggie dish. MIL used to make a dessert and bring homemade buns.
It's down to just DD and I cooking now and we manage just fine together. Yup, the family plans on being here at Papa and Grandma's home as usual. I will gladly give up hosting when one of the other kids is ready to take over the job. Until then, I love it.
As to the LW, she should have quit a long time ago. Her siblings are a bunch of leaches. She should travel to one of her kid's home for Thanksgiving, that's if they invite her.
Ours is seat of the pants. Sometimes mom hosts. Sometimes one of dads sisters hosts. Sometimes we go to moms family, but now that her mom is gone, that may not happen, anymore. A few years ago, we went to your house.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
We have hosted Thanksgiving at our home for close to 20 years. DD always makes a dessert, a casserole and a veggie dish. MIL used to make a dessert and bring homemade buns.
It's down to just DD and I cooking now and we manage just fine together. Yup, the family plans on being here at Papa and Grandma's home as usual. I will gladly give up hosting when one of the other kids is ready to take over the job. Until then, I love it.
As to the LW, she should have quit a long time ago. Her siblings are a bunch of leaches. She should travel to one of her kid's home for Thanksgiving, that's if they invite her.
Ours is seat of the pants. Sometimes mom hosts. Sometimes one of dads sisters hosts. Sometimes we go to moms family, but now that her mom is gone, that may not happen, anymore. A few years ago, we went to your house.
We still have the open door rule, come on over.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
Well, I've told you about how my sister hi-jacked Thanksgiving. Everybody hates it because she has it catered and I'm a really good Thanksgiving cook. But whatever. Saves me a lot of time and money. I still cook a small turkey for me and G and a couple of casseroles. I like doing it and I love the smell...
So THIS YEAR, I got a phone call from her just this past Sunday. (She had already claimed Thanksgiving again this year)
She wants us all to go to Buca di Beppo. An Italian restaurant. Um, no. I want Thanksgiving stuff on Thanksgiving. And I don't want to eat out. So, I'm hosting on Saturday.
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Well, I've told you about how my sister hi-jacked Thanksgiving. Everybody hates it because she has it catered and I'm a really good Thanksgiving cook. But whatever. Saves me a lot of time and money. I still cook a small turkey for me and G and a couple of casseroles. I like doing it and I love the smell...
So THIS YEAR, I got a phone call from her just this past Sunday. (She had already claimed Thanksgiving again this year) She wants us all to go to Buca di Beppo. An Italian restaurant. Um, no. I want Thanksgiving stuff on Thanksgiving. And I don't want to eat out. So, I'm hosting on Saturday.
Good for you, O4!
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
Well, I've told you about how my sister hi-jacked Thanksgiving. Everybody hates it because she has it catered and I'm a really good Thanksgiving cook. But whatever. Saves me a lot of time and money. I still cook a small turkey for me and G and a couple of casseroles. I like doing it and I love the smell...
So THIS YEAR, I got a phone call from her just this past Sunday. (She had already claimed Thanksgiving again this year) She wants us all to go to Buca di Beppo. An Italian restaurant. Um, no. I want Thanksgiving stuff on Thanksgiving. And I don't want to eat out. So, I'm hosting on Saturday.
What?! She shouldn't be able to 'claim' Thanksgiving only to tell everyone what restaurant to go to.
Believe it or not most restaurants are pretty busy on T day.
__________________
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
The club hosts Thanksgiving, too, but the last seating is 1 PM. I just can't bring myself to have it there. I already do Easter & Mother's Day there (which I LOVE)...but T-day...just something about the day that screams home cooked meal.
We used to go out Christmas Eve with my parents when they lived in California. It was fun. I'm going to suggest it to my mom this year and see what she thinks.
We go to my friend's on the Christmases we spend in Georgia. This year I offered to host it at my house instead but she graciously said doing Christmas at her house is now a tradition. So, there you go. Amazingly, neither one of us got upset or offended by this conversation.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
If I were the LW I would stop talking about it....screen calls and do her own thing.
Easy leash.
She said she was not hosting. Just stop feeding their crazy.
I guess they'd be very surprised when they all showed up at my house expecting turkey and I was still in my jammies watching Netflix. Corn flakes anyone?
__________________
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
We have hosted Thanksgiving for maybe 10 years now.
When I was a kid, the only place opened on Thanksgiving was Waffle House.
Now, it's just another day.
If you are one who goes out to eat on Thanksgiving, be really good to your waiter.
They generally don't get holiday pay and usually get their hours cut some other way.
And if they refuse to work or make a fuss, they can lose their job.
I boycott everything on Thanksgiving.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
We have hosted Thanksgiving at our home for close to 20 years. DD always makes a dessert, a casserole and a veggie dish. MIL used to make a dessert and bring homemade buns.
It's down to just DD and I cooking now and we manage just fine together. Yup, the family plans on being here at Papa and Grandma's home as usual. I will gladly give up hosting when one of the other kids is ready to take over the job. Until then, I love it.
As to the LW, she should have quit a long time ago. Her siblings are a bunch of leaches. She should travel to one of her kid's home for Thanksgiving, that's if they invite her.
Ours is seat of the pants. Sometimes mom hosts. Sometimes one of dads sisters hosts. Sometimes we go to moms family, but now that her mom is gone, that may not happen, anymore. A few years ago, we went to your house.
We still have the open door rule, come on over.
Not actually sure what we are doing. I assume mom is having dinner, but I don't know for sure.
__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
We have hosted Thanksgiving at our home for close to 20 years. DD always makes a dessert, a casserole and a veggie dish. MIL used to make a dessert and bring homemade buns.
It's down to just DD and I cooking now and we manage just fine together. Yup, the family plans on being here at Papa and Grandma's home as usual. I will gladly give up hosting when one of the other kids is ready to take over the job. Until then, I love it.
As to the LW, she should have quit a long time ago. Her siblings are a bunch of leaches. She should travel to one of her kid's home for Thanksgiving, that's if they invite her.
Ours is seat of the pants. Sometimes mom hosts. Sometimes one of dads sisters hosts. Sometimes we go to moms family, but now that her mom is gone, that may not happen, anymore. A few years ago, we went to your house.
We still have the open door rule, come on over.
Not actually sure what we are doing. I assume mom is having dinner, but I don't know for sure.
Invitation is open. I would even make meatballs for ya.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
Turkey meatballs (or neatballs, as Bunny calls them) can be quite good.
We are still figuring holidays out since we lost grandma Mimi last summer.
This year we will be doing something new. My mom is going to host all of us, including my in laws, at her home. SIL and I will be bringing most of the side dishes, FIL will deep fry a turkey as always and my folks will be providing ham and fancy place settings along with the space to host everyone.
I hope it goes well, last year my inlaws hosted everyone for Christmas and I think it was pretty nice. I'm not sure because I had bronchitis and slept through most of the festivities.
Sorry, I'm not hosting the holidays at my house. Would you like to pick a restaurant to meet at?
Bwaahhh!
OMG people! Do what the hell you WANT to do. If other people get mad, let them get mad. Sheesh. There comes a time in life when you have to stop trying to please everyone else and start pleasing yourself.