TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

We've seen it over and over...

huskerbb · Guru

These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't think it is always clear husker. I think a lot of these men are very charming on the outset and they don't realize until it is too late.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't think it is always clear husker. I think a lot of these men are very charming on the outset and they don't realize until it is too late.

It's clear if their friends and family are seeing it. They just don't want to believe it. Like I said, they don't listen to their family, they make excuses. It's pretty clear to everyone else.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I agree. However, the victim didnt' commit those actions. The perp needs to be held fully accountable for their actions.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I agree. However, the victim didnt' commit those actions. The perp needs to be held fully accountable for their actions.

Sure--but fat lot of good that does her father--or her babies.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

You're right! What an idiot she was. Well one thing is for sure, now she will have the rest of her life to live with those choices.

Guess that'll teach her.

disbelief

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The perp is dead.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
You're right! What an idiot she was. Well one thing is for sure, now she will have the rest of her life to live with those choices.

Guess that'll teach her.

She will have to live with that. It's a terrible consequence--unfortunately, her father and children won't get the chance to "live" with it.

huskerbb · Guru

Could she have predicted this outcome? Of course not.

However, was he a controlling jerk long before this--before she had kids with him? Undoubtedly yes.

Did her parents and probably friends warn her about him long before this incident? Yes.

No, you can't predict you are with a homicidal ps.ych0path, but you know darn well if you are with a jerk that your parents and friends see a lot of red flags with.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Being a jerk and a homicidal maniac are 2 different things. Most people don't expect that someone is capable of that. Kind of like knowing that a Pitbull has never bitten and killed, until it actually does. Then, everyone protests, oh well it was such a nice dog, blah, blah.

Tangerine · Guru

You know what, husker?
I've had it with your attitude.
You are blaming the victim of a horrific instance of domestic violence.
I wish you'd go do something anatomically unlikely instead.

You don't know a damn thing about this woman or what led her to this devastating place in her life.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

While I don't agree with blaming the victim to the extent husker is, there is some truth to what he is saying. A non related male is more likely to murder a child not related to him (but related to his current girlfriend) than any other person. There are some schools of thought that say it's biological - from a time when resources were scarce and men couldn't take care of children that were not theirs, they were seen as a threat to their own survival. I am not saying he isn't responsible. He is 100% responsible for his actions. But women who invite men into their home, around their children, should wait to do so until they get a ring or a marriage license.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

They were his kids too. He killed his OWN kids.

Tangerine · Guru

This man appears to have killed his own children, according to the article. And his father in law. And himself.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

My mistake. He is just a dirtbag then.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.

Husker, you hit the nail on the head. But you left out the factor that this is how they were raised themselves.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Oh Paleassseee people. these girls having kids with loser gang, druggies, etc are asking for this type of lifestyle. Flame me, but you reep what you sow, and your kids are on the front line.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Yep. And not just young women. A friend of mine is putting a sex offender ahead of her children. She is educated ....a nurse.... I thought a good mother.
But now her estranged husband wont give her girls back....she still wont stop seeing him.
Because he makes her vajayjay happy.
Stupid stupid stupid.

The killer in this story is to blame of course but yes....no doubt there were plenty of red flags to make her perhaps say hey....lets not have kids with this guy....

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Saturday 21st of November 2015 09:46:03 PM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

""Because he makes her vajayjay happy."" Mary Zombie

This one is going in the Geek Hall of Fame! LMAO!! biggrin

Tinydancer · Guru

Why are you all blaming these girls? Yes they made terrible decisions but it's these ************ men who are doing this. Let's blame these little ******** bag men. When you try to make it about the girls, no matter how bad their decisions are, it's the men who've done this. I get that it's easier to blame them than the actual perpetrators because we just can't understand them. We all know women AND men who make bad decisions but you never hear the same blame for the men because it's not women killing their boyfriends children people!

Mary Zombie · Guru

For me it's not about blaming the girls but they will be living wifh the memory of all the warnings and stop signs they ignored ya know?

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Saturday 21st of November 2015 10:45:43 PM

Mary Zombie · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
""Because he makes her vajayjay happy."" Mary Zombie

This one is going in the Geek Hall of Fame! LMAO!!

biggrin

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSNcPywUcewrwB6BTdeCEnmfRG98f1iBTwR6DvznDRys4_8fe8kZA

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Tinydancer wrote:
Why are you all blaming these girls? Yes they made terrible decisions but it's these ************ men who are doing this. Let's blame these little ******** bag men. When you try to make it about the girls, no matter how bad their decisions are, it's the men who've done this. I get that it's easier to blame them than the actual perpetrators because we just can't understand them. We all know women AND men who make bad decisions but you never hear the same blame for the men because it's not women killing their boyfriends children people!

Why? Because they know they are involved with bad boys and bad people all around. They enjoy the excitement of the bad lifestyle, then cry when something terrible happens. As parents we have the responsibility to keep our kids safe, and that includes keeping bad people out of their lives, as in you don't invite those bad people in.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

A lot of these young women don't come from the best homes. So, they wind up getting involved with bad men. It is easy for bad men to prey on vulnerable young women.

Tangerine · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Why are you all blaming these girls? Yes they made terrible decisions but it's these ************ men who are doing this. Let's blame these little ******** bag men. When you try to make it about the girls, no matter how bad their decisions are, it's the men who've done this. I get that it's easier to blame them than the actual perpetrators because we just can't understand them. We all know women AND men who make bad decisions but you never hear the same blame for the men because it's not women killing their boyfriends children people!
Why? Because they know they are involved with bad boys and bad people all around. They enjoy the excitement of the bad lifestyle, then cry when something terrible happens. As parents we have the responsibility to keep our kids safe, and that includes keeping bad people out of their lives, as in you don't invite those bad people in.

What the what? most women in abuse relationships witnessed their mothers being involved in abusive relationships.

I don't follow your logic here.

Tinydancer · Guru

Were you referring to my logic or the logic that says blame the women for making bad decisions while not totally holding these ****** accountable for their own actions. Yes I know they made a bad choice but I'm sure they never imagined these scumbags would do something so awful. Why don't we blame the men when their bad choices kill their children (oh yeah because that doesn't happen any where near as frequently)? Women have been and probably always will be held to a higher standard than men.

Tangerine · Guru

I was addressing ikwtds.

chef · Guru

Sick. Absolutely disgusting.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.

It makes me angry that you seem to blame these women more than you blame the men. Surely there are men who make bad decisions about women yet you don't hear about these women killing their boyfriends children. Look to the real reason this is happening and stop blaming the women. sheesh

Tinydancer · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
I was addressing ikwtds.

I apologize. I am sick of the women being blamed when some loser kills a child. I'm sure most of these women never thought this would happen. Being stupid doesn't mean some disgusting excuse for a man gets to kill your child and blame you.

chef · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.
It makes me angry that you seem to blame these women more than you blame the men. Surely there are men who make bad decisions about women yet you don't hear about these women killing their boyfriends children. Look to the real reason this is happening and stop blaming the women. sheesh

Husker has a point though. Some women routinely make piss poor choices in guys and completely ignore any and all warnings from family and friends. At some point, the woman is responsible for her role in having the douche of a guy in her kids' life. Of course, him killing the kids is absolutely unacceptable. But, when she refuses to remove the guy from her kids' lives, she becomes culpable if something happens to those kids.

The women who see the warning signs and leave are, imo, blameless if the guy kills the kids. She did her part in removing the guy from her kids' lives. But the ones who DON'T leave? Well, had they left, their kids may still be alive.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Being a jerk and a homicidal maniac are 2 different things. Most people don't expect that someone is capable of that. Kind of like knowing that a Pitbull has never bitten and killed, until it actually does. Then, everyone protests, oh well it was such a nice dog, blah, blah.

You are right--but why have a relationship, and kids--with an abusive a-hole?

huskerbb · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
You know what, husker?
I've had it with your attitude.
You are blaming the victim of a horrific instance of domestic violence.
I wish you'd go do something anatomically unlikely instead.

You don't know a damn thing about this woman or what led her to this devastating place in her life.

Well, we do know a few things.

A. He was a controlling jerk.

B. People in her life--chiefly her parents--didn't want her to date this guy.

C. She chose to stay in that relationship and have kids with him, anyway.

Sure, the guy who fired the gun is responsible for the deaths--but he is dead. Even in cases where the guy doesn't kill himself, we can put him in jail or even give out the death penalty.

That doesn't bring back her father or her children.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
I was addressing ikwtds.
I apologize. I am sick of the women being blamed when some loser kills a child. I'm sure most of these women never thought this would happen. Being stupid doesn't mean some disgusting excuse for a man gets to kill your child and blame you.

But I would rather prevent this than punish after the fact. In this case, the guy killed himself--so he has met with the ultimate punishment in some way--but that won't bring back her father and kids.

Punishment is after the fact. Prevention would be good.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.
It makes me angry that you seem to blame these women more than you blame the men. Surely there are men who make bad decisions about women yet you don't hear about these women killing their boyfriends children. Look to the real reason this is happening and stop blaming the women. sheesh

That's BS. The reason you don't hear about women killing their boyfriend's children is because it doesn't happen that much. A man can date loser women and the consequences are not as great.

Sure, we can put all the laws in place that we want to in order to punish those who commit such crimes--but criminals break the law. Such laws don't prevent a damn thing. They can only come into the play after the fact.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

What do you suggest for prevention? Honest to god I think some here a freaking stupid. Do you know how hard it is to get a restraining order against one of these idiots? And all that does is say if he does something else stupid THEN they can arrest him. Our women's shelter is constantly full. And you can't stay there but for a very very short time. Like days to a two weeks. How many of you could rebuild your total life in two weeks? Oh, and after the divorce? You think the abuse stops? WTFever. Then it just becomes him using the kids against her. Oh, and let me tell you from real life experience, even a guy who has abused his kids has the opportunity to have visitation with his kids until he proves he won't abuse them again. By then it might be too late. We've had three cases here in the last six months where fathers had legal custody of their children and killed them while on visitation.

Not saying a woman shouldn't leave but grow up and stop acting like she just needs to walk away and pull out the wad of money she has saved up and get on with her life. Because we all know the majority of women in this position are isolated and not allowed to work outside the home just for this very reason.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

She had left him. She was living with her father, they were no longer together.
Husker, are you TRYING to be disgusting? Because it is working. I can't believe what you are writing here.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.
It makes me angry that you seem to blame these women more than you blame the men. Surely there are men who make bad decisions about women yet you don't hear about these women killing their boyfriends children. Look to the real reason this is happening and stop blaming the women. sheesh
That's BS. The reason you don't hear about women killing their boyfriend's children is because it doesn't happen that much. A man can date loser women and the consequences are not as great.
Sure, we can put all the laws in place that we want to in order to punish those who commit such crimes--but criminals break the law. Such laws don't prevent a damn thing. They can only come into the play after the fact.

You make my point exactly. Yes men can date losers and you blame the women. Women can date losers and you blame the women. Are you seeing a pattern here husker because I sure do. It's that whole men can't control themselves thing you seem to believe. Whether it's a sister in law hitting on you or killing children it's always some one else fault if it's a man.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Tangerine wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Why are you all blaming these girls? Yes they made terrible decisions but it's these ************ men who are doing this. Let's blame these little ******** bag men. When you try to make it about the girls, no matter how bad their decisions are, it's the men who've done this. I get that it's easier to blame them than the actual perpetrators because we just can't understand them. We all know women AND men who make bad decisions but you never hear the same blame for the men because it's not women killing their boyfriends children people!
Why? Because they know they are involved with bad boys and bad people all around. They enjoy the excitement of the bad lifestyle, then cry when something terrible happens. As parents we have the responsibility to keep our kids safe, and that includes keeping bad people out of their lives, as in you don't invite those bad people in.
What the what? most women in abuse relationships witnessed their mothers being involved in abusive relationships.
I don't follow your logic here.

whoops wrong thread. I was responding to the thread about the guy left to babysit the kid and killed her.

huskerbb · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
What do you suggest for prevention? Honest to god I think some here a freaking stupid. Do you know how hard it is to get a restraining order against one of these idiots? And all that does is say if he does something else stupid THEN they can arrest him. Our women's shelter is constantly full. And you can't stay there but for a very very short time. Like days to a two weeks. How many of you could rebuild your total life in two weeks? Oh, and after the divorce? You think the abuse stops? WTFever. Then it just becomes him using the kids against her. Oh, and let me tell you from real life experience, even a guy who has abused his kids has the opportunity to have visitation with his kids until he proves he won't abuse them again. By then it might be too late. We've had three cases here in the last six months where fathers had legal custody of their children and killed them while on visitation.

Not saying a woman shouldn't leave but grow up and stop acting like she just needs to walk away and pull out the wad of money she has saved up and get on with her life. Because we all know the majority of women in this position are isolated and not allowed to work outside the home just for this very reason.

What do I suggest??? How about listening to parents and friends who point out all the red flags from the jump?

How about ending the relationship before you procreate with the guy?

Plus, this girl was NOT "isolated". She had her father helping her--and it got him killed.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.
It makes me angry that you seem to blame these women more than you blame the men. Surely there are men who make bad decisions about women yet you don't hear about these women killing their boyfriends children. Look to the real reason this is happening and stop blaming the women. sheesh
That's BS. The reason you don't hear about women killing their boyfriend's children is because it doesn't happen that much. A man can date loser women and the consequences are not as great.
Sure, we can put all the laws in place that we want to in order to punish those who commit such crimes--but criminals break the law. Such laws don't prevent a damn thing. They can only come into the play after the fact.
You make my point exactly. Yes men can date losers and you blame the women. Women can date losers and you blame the women. Are you seeing a pattern here husker because I sure do. It's that whole men can't control themselves thing you seem to believe. Whether it's a sister in law hitting on you or killing children it's always some one else fault if it's a man.

Men are to blame for dating losers, too. However, the consequences for doing so are rarely as dire.

It's the man's fault here for killing his kids and her father--but so what? Again, punishment is AFTER THE FACT. It does no good to the dead to punish people. They are already dead.

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
She had left him. She was living with her father, they were no longer together.
Husker, are you TRYING to be disgusting? Because it is working. I can't believe what you are writing here.

I'm writing that she should have listened to her parents and not dated this guy--and certainly not had kids with him.

I don't see how you can even argue the opposite.

Are you saying it's a GOOD idea to date a controlling abuser? That it's a good idea to ignore all the red flags about the guy--including what others so obviously see? That it's a good idea to procreate with him?

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:24:05 PM

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
She had left him. She was living with her father, they were no longer together.
Husker, are you TRYING to be disgusting? Because it is working. I can't believe what you are writing here.
I'm writing that she should have listened to her parents and not dated this guy--and certainly not had kids with him.
I don't see how you can even argue the opposite.

Are you saying it's a GOOD idea to date a controlling abuser? That it's a good idea to ignore all the red flags about the guy--including what others so obviously see? That it's a good idea to procreate with him?

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:24:05 PM

Where exactly do you get that in this story? Nobody may have seen it until she was already pregnant. All the mother said was she had misgivings - not that she communicated them or tried to get her don't to break up or anything even remotely similar.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Not all these "idiots" are idiots when the women meet them. Some are kind and caring and show great traits. It's not just the women. A lot of families really like the abuser too. Until he isolates her and starts abusing her. You really have no concept of what abuse is, how it happens, and how it totally takes over your life. You seem to think they all start hitting the woman on the first date. Not so. Usually they're quite charming and nice. Until they aren't. Usually by then it's too late.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
She had left him. She was living with her father, they were no longer together.
Husker, are you TRYING to be disgusting? Because it is working. I can't believe what you are writing here.
I'm writing that she should have listened to her parents and not dated this guy--and certainly not had kids with him.
I don't see how you can even argue the opposite.

Are you saying it's a GOOD idea to date a controlling abuser? That it's a good idea to ignore all the red flags about the guy--including what others so obviously see? That it's a good idea to procreate with him?

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:24:05 PM
Where exactly do you get that in this story? Nobody may have seen it until she was already pregnant. All the mother said was she had misgivings - not that she communicated them or tried to get her don't to break up or anything even remotely similar.

The mother said they all saw some red flags. I highly doubt they kept them to themselves. He was "threatening and controlling"--so even if mom and dad didn't do more than give subtle hints, it should have been apparent.

Also, let's say in THIS ONE case the remote chance that they saw all this behavior and said nothing is true. That is not the case most of the time. Most of the time parents let their kids know.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 03:15:46 PM

huskerbb · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Not all these "idiots" are idiots when the women meet them. Some are kind and caring and show great traits. It's not just the women. A lot of families really like the abuser too. Until he isolates her and starts abusing her. You really have no concept of what abuse is, how it happens, and how it totally takes over your life. You seem to think they all start hitting the woman on the first date. Not so. Usually they're quite charming and nice. Until they aren't. Usually by then it's too late.

Sometimes--but not the case here.

Unless she got pregnant in the first few months of the relationship (which I realize is a possibility)--it certainly would have become apparent before she got pregnant. Again, unless she got pregnant in the first few months--which is unwise in and of itself even if he's a great guy.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
These dippy young women just HAVE to have this or that boyfriend. They hang on to them like a toddler clutches stuffed animals. They hang on to the despite what their friends and family say. They make excuses for their bad behavior. Then, to top it off, they have kids with these losers, making it more difficult to end the relationship, and tying themselves to these losers through the children even if they can get out of the romantic relationship.

It makes me angry that they don't once stop to think--at least not with the organ on top of their neck.
It makes me angry that you seem to blame these women more than you blame the men. Surely there are men who make bad decisions about women yet you don't hear about these women killing their boyfriends children. Look to the real reason this is happening and stop blaming the women. sheesh
That's BS. The reason you don't hear about women killing their boyfriend's children is because it doesn't happen that much. A man can date loser women and the consequences are not as great.
Sure, we can put all the laws in place that we want to in order to punish those who commit such crimes--but criminals break the law. Such laws don't prevent a damn thing. They can only come into the play after the fact.
You make my point exactly. Yes men can date losers and you blame the women. Women can date losers and you blame the women. Are you seeing a pattern here husker because I sure do. It's that whole men can't control themselves thing you seem to believe. Whether it's a sister in law hitting on you or killing children it's always some one else fault if it's a man.
Men are to blame for dating losers, too. However, the consequences for doing so are rarely as dire.

It's the man's fault here for killing his kids and her father--but so what? Again, punishment is AFTER THE FACT. It does no good to the dead to punish people. They are already dead.

So what? You find a way to blame the women no matter WHAT. It doesn't matter how or when the men get punished and just because someone's dead doesn't mean the guy gets a pass. You can minimize what these animals do but it only makes you look like a sympathizer. Blaming the women makes you look like a women hater. That you don't see it is just wrong.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Many abusive men are very good at being charming and hiding their ways until it is too late.

TOTALLY GEEKED!

Family: Dad Shoots Twin Babies to Death in Mom's Arms, Critically Injures Her, Kills Her Father