TOTALLY GEEKED!

I don't think the mother is fishing for compliments. It sounds like she is offering him a certain dish, as food is being passed perhaps, and he has to either accept or decline it. Stuffing something in his mouth and saying "mmmmm" isn't an option.

The OP needs to talk to her mother and tell her she is putting the guy in an uncomfortable situation. Let her know he is a picky eater and that commenting on it makes him uncomfortable. It is the host's job to make guests feel comfortable. If mom can't/won't do this, she is a terrible host.

Also, tell the guy to take a really small portion of something and move it around on the plate. He doesn't have to eat it - just take it so mom will shut up. If it's something like gravy that he doesn't want, he needs to learn to "own" his quirks. If he doesn't like it, he needs to make a joke about how he is a picky eater, even when everything at the table is so delicious, etc and move on. When you are picky you can't expect the world to walk on eggshells around you. Own your crazy.

Girlfriend just needs to laugh at her mom. Just say Oh FFS Mom!

Divine Geek wrote:

---

Mellow Momma wrote:

---

I don't think the mother is fishing for compliments. It sounds like she is offering him a certain dish, as food is being passed perhaps, and he has to either accept or decline it. Stuffing something in his mouth and saying "mmmmm" isn't an option.

The OP needs to talk to her mother and tell her she is putting the guy in an uncomfortable situation. Let her know he is a picky eater and that commenting on it makes him uncomfortable. It is the host's job to make guests feel comfortable. If mom can't/won't do this, she is a terrible host.

Also, tell the guy to take a really small portion of something and move it around on the plate. He doesn't have to eat it - just take it so mom will shut up. If it's something like gravy that he doesn't want, he needs to learn to "own" his quirks. If he doesn't like it, he needs to make a joke about how he is a picky eater, even when everything at the table is so delicious, etc and move on. When you are picky you can't expect the world to walk on eggshells around you. Own your crazy.

---

 This. I'm not an extremely picky eater, but there are common things I don't like.  I don't like mayo or salad dressing.  I get teased for this all the time.  I'm not going to sit around and pout about other people being stupid. I'm going to eat my food and remind them that their ranch dressing with a side of salad is not in fact "healthy" 

---

   Well, "reminding people " that what they are eating isn't healthy is a bit obnoxious as well, lol.  I mean nobody likes the Food Police telling us that what we are shoving down our gullets is bad for us!

When the LW and her boyfriend are scheduled to go to Mom's for a meal, ASK Mom what is on the menu. If it includes something BF will not eat, ask if you can bring/substitute something he WILL eat. "Mom, BF doesn't eat beets, but can I bring a green bean casserole instead?"
Mom appears to be doing a not-so-subtle put-down of the BF. She should brush up on her manners as a hostess.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Girlfriend just needs to laugh at her mom. Just say Oh FFS Mom!

---

I guess I agree with this.  I don't think escalating the situation is going to do much good.   

 

My son's girlfriend is a VERY picky eater.  Mostly, she hasn't tried a lot of foods.  Her mom never cooked home-cooked meals.  They ate chicken strips, frozen pizzas, hot dogs, etc... pretty much all their life.

We eat processed foods like that rarely, if ever (once in a while we'll throw in a frozen pizza while watching football).

It's a process.  We do try to get her to try new things--and I'd say we're batting about .500 on whether she then likes it.  She will eat a lot more things now than a year ago. 

The only time it's REALLY an issue is when my mom make a good home-cooked meal--meatballs or roast, cheesy or mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and a salad--and she won't eat ANY of it.  It's happening less and less, though, as time goes by. 

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:38:18 PM

I think, unless you are actually allergic to something, when going to another's home to eat what they've spent time and money preparing, you shut your complaining trap and eat.

So you don't like onions? Pick them out.

You don't like the way something feels in your mouth? Don't eat it a big bunch of it.

I can't believe adults think they have to be catered to at every event.

Grow up. Take a bite. Smile and swallow. You don't have to eat the whole serving dish of whatever it is.

And it seems to me he is one of picky eaters that doesn't like much of anything.

Like I said, other than a medical reason, when someone asks how do you like this or that, you reply, however you want to make it will be perfect.

Of course I'm old school. I was taught to be polite and grateful at meals.

Isn't saying no thank you a polite response to being offered food you don't like?

huskerbb wrote:

---

flan327 wrote:

---

lilyofcourse wrote:

---

And it seems to me he is one of picky eaters that doesn't like much of anything.

Like I said, other than a medical reason, when someone asks how do you like this or that, you reply, however you want to make it will be perfect.

Of course I'm old school. I was taught to be polite and grateful at meals.

---

 And it is possible to be polite & grateful without eating foods you don't like.

I could never eat a deviled egg, among other things.

flan

---

 Well now that's just ridiculous. 

---

 How will I ever go on???

flan

flan327 wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

flan327 wrote:

---

lilyofcourse wrote:

---

And it seems to me he is one of picky eaters that doesn't like much of anything.

Like I said, other than a medical reason, when someone asks how do you like this or that, you reply, however you want to make it will be perfect.

Of course I'm old school. I was taught to be polite and grateful at meals.

---

 And it is possible to be polite & grateful without eating foods you don't like.

I could never eat a deviled egg, among other things.

flan

---

 Well now that's just ridiculous. 

---

 How will I ever go on???

flan

---

I don't know because deviled eggs are like a little piece of heaven in your mouth.  

My DN's b/f is crazy picky. All has to do with the way his mom raised him. When first getting to know him I would say stuff like the mom, "You don't like THAT? EVERYONE likes that!" He would just say no and that was the end of it. Then I would ask him about foods he likes. He hates green beans but loves broccoli. So now I serve broccoli when he comes over. I am making him a broccoli and cheese casserole for Thanksgiving because he loves it. I still laugh at him but he takes it in good nature. I also grill him about the things he likes so I can make dishes he likes. DN says he's fine with everything.

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Girlfriend just needs to laugh at her mom. Just say Oh FFS Mom!

---

I guess I agree with this.  I don't think escalating the situation is going to do much good.   

 

My son's girlfriend is a VERY picky eater.  Mostly, she hasn't tried a lot of foods.  Her mom never cooked home-cooked meals.  They ate chicken strips, frozen pizzas, hot dogs, etc... pretty much all their life.

We eat processed foods like that rarely, if ever (once in a while we'll throw in a frozen pizza while watching football).

It's a process.  We do try to get her to try new things--and I'd say we're batting about .500 on whether she then likes it.  She will eat a lot more things now than a year ago. 

The only time it's REALLY an issue is when my mom make a good home-cooked meal--meatballs or roast, cheesy or mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and a salad--and she won't eat ANY of it.  It's happening less and less, though, as time goes by. 

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:38:18 PM

---

 This drives me nuts. It just seems really immature and impolite to not even make an effort to try something that someone made for you. 

My sister brought a friend to Thanksgiving one year who was like that. She literally put plain mashed potatoes and a roll on her plate. Is it really going to kill you to take a bite of a few things? Have a bite, say something nice, and move on. Saying 'No thank you' to a few dishes passed your way, fine, but I don't think it's polite to say 'no thank you' to a whole meal. 

 

NAOW wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Girlfriend just needs to laugh at her mom. Just say Oh FFS Mom!

---

I guess I agree with this.  I don't think escalating the situation is going to do much good.   

 

My son's girlfriend is a VERY picky eater.  Mostly, she hasn't tried a lot of foods.  Her mom never cooked home-cooked meals.  They ate chicken strips, frozen pizzas, hot dogs, etc... pretty much all their life.

We eat processed foods like that rarely, if ever (once in a while we'll throw in a frozen pizza while watching football).

It's a process.  We do try to get her to try new things--and I'd say we're batting about .500 on whether she then likes it.  She will eat a lot more things now than a year ago. 

The only time it's REALLY an issue is when my mom make a good home-cooked meal--meatballs or roast, cheesy or mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and a salad--and she won't eat ANY of it.  It's happening less and less, though, as time goes by. 

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:38:18 PM

---

 This drives me nuts. It just seems really immature and impolite to not even make an effort to try something that someone made for you. 

My sister brought a friend to Thanksgiving one year who was like that. She literally put plain mashed potatoes and a roll on her plate. Is it really going to kill you to take a bite of a few things? Have a bite, say something nice, and move on. Saying 'No thank you' to a few dishes passed your way, fine, but I don't think it's polite to say 'no thank you' to a whole meal. 

 

---

 I think putting food on your plate that you don't intend to eat is wasteful. Why do you care if she only ate potatoes and a roll? It was her choice. I wouldn't even think twice about it. Clearly she knows what she likes to eat and what she doesn't. Why should she eat something she doesn't like just so you feel better? 

DD is a picky eater. I don't cater to it. She eats what she wants and if she wants something else later she makes it for herself. Nothing makes me more mad than when people try to force her or guilt her into eating something she knows she doesn't like. It's rude. She will eat what she wants and she doesn't complain. What difference does it make to someone else if she doesn't eat something? Trying to make someone eat something that they know they don't like is stupid. Forcing them to try it won't make them suddenly like it. To clarify, I am talking about foods they have tried before and do not like, not foods they have never tried and just don't want to. DD doesn't like broccoli. There is no amount of cheese or whatever that will make her like that texture no matter what Great Aunt Petunia thinks. 

Mellow Momma wrote:

---

NAOW wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Girlfriend just needs to laugh at her mom. Just say Oh FFS Mom!

---

I guess I agree with this.  I don't think escalating the situation is going to do much good.   

 

My son's girlfriend is a VERY picky eater.  Mostly, she hasn't tried a lot of foods.  Her mom never cooked home-cooked meals.  They ate chicken strips, frozen pizzas, hot dogs, etc... pretty much all their life.

We eat processed foods like that rarely, if ever (once in a while we'll throw in a frozen pizza while watching football).

It's a process.  We do try to get her to try new things--and I'd say we're batting about .500 on whether she then likes it.  She will eat a lot more things now than a year ago. 

The only time it's REALLY an issue is when my mom make a good home-cooked meal--meatballs or roast, cheesy or mashed potatoes, a vegetable, and a salad--and she won't eat ANY of it.  It's happening less and less, though, as time goes by. 

-- Edited by huskerbb on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 12:38:18 PM

---

 This drives me nuts. It just seems really immature and impolite to not even make an effort to try something that someone made for you. 

My sister brought a friend to Thanksgiving one year who was like that. She literally put plain mashed potatoes and a roll on her plate. Is it really going to kill you to take a bite of a few things? Have a bite, say something nice, and move on. Saying 'No thank you' to a few dishes passed your way, fine, but I don't think it's polite to say 'no thank you' to a whole meal. 

 

---

 I think putting food on your plate that you don't intend to eat is wasteful. Why do you care if she only ate potatoes and a roll? It was her choice. I wouldn't even think twice about it. Clearly she knows what she likes to eat and what she doesn't. Why should she eat something she doesn't like just so you feel better? 

DD is a picky eater. I don't cater to it. She eats what she wants and if she wants something else later she makes it for herself. Nothing makes me more mad than when people try to force her or guilt her into eating something she knows she doesn't like. It's rude. She will eat what she wants and she doesn't complain. What difference does it make to someone else if she doesn't eat something? Trying to make someone eat something that they know they don't like is stupid. Forcing them to try it won't make them suddenly like it. To clarify, I am talking about foods they have tried before and do not like, not foods they have never tried and just don't want to. DD doesn't like broccoli. There is no amount of cheese or whatever that will make her like that texture no matter what Great Aunt Petunia thinks. 

---

A.  It's polite to at least TRY something.

 

B.  I do think it depends on how often you will see them.  If it's a one time thing--well, whatever.  In the case of my son's girlfriend, though, she's around ALL.  THE.  TIME.  It's annoying to have to worry about what she might eat or not, especially when she hasn't even tried most things, and if she does try something, she seems to like it at least half the time.   

But why should she eat something she knows she doesn't like? So that you feel better? Seems silly.

If a guest is a picky eater, I don't worry much about it. That is their issue. Not mine. Picky eaters are like vegetarians. They eat what they can from what is served. No one should feel any guilt from that. If they aren't full, that's on them, not you.

Mellow Momma wrote:

---

But why should she eat something she knows she doesn't like? So that you feel better? Seems silly.

If a guest is a picky eater, I don't worry much about it. That is their issue. Not mine. Picky eaters are like vegetarians. They eat what they can from what is served. No one should feel any guilt from that. If they aren't full, that's on them, not you.

---

I think it's silly to not be able to eat a bite or two of something. 

Mellow Momma wrote:

---

But why should she eat something she knows she doesn't like? So that you feel better? Seems silly.

If a guest is a picky eater, I don't worry much about it. That is their issue. Not mine. Picky eaters are like vegetarians. They eat what they can from what is served. No one should feel any guilt from that. If they aren't full, that's on them, not you.

---

 And, with my son, I grab something before I go or bring a dish that I like. He knows I'm a picky eater & would never take it personally.

flan

When my kids were learning to eat, growing their palette, I made things I didn't like so they could try it.

And yes, I would eat it too.

I hate green peas. My kids love them. Butter beans are nasty, my kids love them. I love turnip greens, two kids love them, one not so much, but he eats it.

Even my child with texture issues will try things. And there was a while when all he wanted to eat was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But I insisted he at least take two bites of everything offered.

Now, he eats about anything.

I swear, the more you cater to a quirk, the worse it gets.

huskerbb wrote:

---

flan327 wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

flan327 wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

flan327 wrote:

---

lilyofcourse wrote:

---

And it seems to me he is one of picky eaters that doesn't like much of anything.

Like I said, other than a medical reason, when someone asks how do you like this or that, you reply, however you want to make it will be perfect.

Of course I'm old school. I was taught to be polite and grateful at meals.

---

 And it is possible to be polite & grateful without eating foods you don't like.

I could never eat a deviled egg, among other things.

flan

---

 Well now that's just ridiculous. 

---

 How will I ever go on???

flan

---

I don't know because deviled eggs are like a little piece of heaven in your mouth.  

---

 The smell alone makes me gag.

flan

---

You don't snort them.   

---

 

ladyloonatic wrote:

---

I think it's crazy to expect people to eat something they don't like just because I made it. I think it's funny that everyone assumes he is a picky eater.

Maybe she is a really crappy cook, so rather than say that, when asked, he says "Oh, I just don't really care for ...."

As to the OP, the LW shouldn't feel like she's in the middle and has to fix it. They're both adults, let them deal with the situation themselves. That said, next time it happens, and mom starts her banter, I agree with LGS, I'd just say "FFS Mom..." (or something with that same sentiment     )

---

 There's that lol 

for years my mom thought I didn't like potato soup. I finally had to admit I don't like her potato soup 

I make the bomb deviled eggs. My company INSISTS that i make them for pot luck meals. I made them for Gs warehouse Thanksgiving luncheon and they were the first thing to go. I have a secret recipe...

One of his employees was talking about how good they were and said he loved them, but didnt like the farts that came afterward. G said he loved the after farts because it reminded him of how good the eggs were...lol!

Hahahahahaha! I know, right?

NAOW wrote:

---

Mellow Momma wrote:

---

But why should she eat something she knows she doesn't like? So that you feel better? Seems silly.

If a guest is a picky eater, I don't worry much about it. That is their issue. Not mine. Picky eaters are like vegetarians. They eat what they can from what is served. No one should feel any guilt from that. If they aren't full, that's on them, not you.

---

I think it's silly to not be able to eat a bite or two of something. 

---

 And I think it's silly to expect a guest in your home to validate your feelings by eating something they dont like and making themselves uncomfortable. 

I suppose it's better that my DD trigger a gag reflex and gag during the meal rather than say "no thank you" when a food she doesn't like is offered?! Gagging won't make the host feel bad at all! 

I don't like chocolate or coffee.

"Oh, you have to have a piece of this chocolate cake!"
"No, thank you."
"You can worry about your diet tomorrow!"
"I'm not on a diet, thank you."
"Then have some cake!"
"No thank you. I don't like cake."
"What's WRONG with you?!