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huskerbb


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then you don't really have the kind of relationship that you would drop 5 grand on him.

 

Dear Amy: Several months ago I sent my 32-year-old grandson, who lives in another state, a check for $5,000 as a wedding gift.

I have heard nothing from him since, although he deposited my check right after receiving it. I am a widow who worked hard for my salary over my working years.

I have been informed that the new protocol is that a newly married couple have one year to acknowledge wedding gifts. Is this correct?

Patient in Pittsburgh

Patient in Pittsburgh: Gulp. What an extremely generous gift! There is no protocol stating that people have up to a year to thank people for gifts — though many people seem to take a year and then stretch it to a lifetime. Judging from the letters sent to me, the lack of acknowledgment of gifts is widespread.

If a groom receives $5,000 as a gift from his grandma, the protocol should be: an immediate excited phone call when the envelope is opened, a note written and signed by both bride and groom before the check is deposited, and flowers sent to you annually for the rest of your life.



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Tinydancer


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I'm curious as to your thoughts on this husker...lol

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What a sh*t that GS and his wife are. I have nothing else. My kids would be so grateful and over the top thanking Grandma.

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Tangerine


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I wrote thank you notes so fast after my wedding. What a dip this guy is being.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

What a sh*t that GS and his wife are. I have nothing else. My kids would be so grateful and over the top thanking Grandma.

 This.  I'd be taking her out to dinner.  OMG what a generous gift.



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Tangerine wrote:

I wrote thank you notes so fast after my wedding. What a dip this guy is being.

 I have to admit I didn't.  DH cashed all the checks before I could see who wrote a check for what.  I didn't even see them.  That was almost seven years ago.  I think it's a little late now.  I just recently gave away all my thank you notes to a new bride.



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Tinydancer


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Tangerine wrote:

I wrote thank you notes so fast after my wedding. What a dip this guy is being.

 I have to admit I didn't.  DH cashed all the checks before I could see who wrote a check for what.  I didn't even see them.  That was almost seven years ago.  I think it's a little late now.  I just recently gave away all my thank you notes to a new bride.

That was nice.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Tinydancer wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Tangerine wrote:

I wrote thank you notes so fast after my wedding. What a dip this guy is being.

 I have to admit I didn't.  DH cashed all the checks before I could see who wrote a check for what.  I didn't even see them.  That was almost seven years ago.  I think it's a little late now.  I just recently gave away all my thank you notes to a new bride.

That was nice.

 I was glad to give them to her but I really did feel bad I didn't write thank you's.  I really should have.



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huskerbb


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Well, I kind of gave my thoughts in the title for this thread.

I think that dropping 5 grand and expecting a relationship to spring up due to that is naïve, to say the least.

If they had a good relationship before this--then 5 grand or not, several months would not pass before they spoke.

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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Tangerine wrote:

I wrote thank you notes so fast after my wedding. What a dip this guy is being.

 I have to admit I didn't.  DH cashed all the checks before I could see who wrote a check for what.  I didn't even see them.  That was almost seven years ago.  I think it's a little late now.  I just recently gave away all my thank you notes to a new bride.

 You've been married SEVEN years? 

 

You mean I've been fvcking around on the internet on these message boards for more than SEVEN years???

 

hmm



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Nobody Just Nobody


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huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Tangerine wrote:

I wrote thank you notes so fast after my wedding. What a dip this guy is being.

 I have to admit I didn't.  DH cashed all the checks before I could see who wrote a check for what.  I didn't even see them.  That was almost seven years ago.  I think it's a little late now.  I just recently gave away all my thank you notes to a new bride.

 You've been married SEVEN years? 

 

You mean I've been fvcking around on the internet on these message boards for more than SEVEN years???

 

hmm

 Yes husker.  Next month I will be married SEVEN years.  You know, the marriage you said wouldn't last a year?  Yep.  Come January it's seven years.  And yes, you've been fvcking your life away on these boards for seven years.



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huskerbb


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Well, with you, apparently.

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Tinydancer


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huskerbb wrote:

Well, with you, apparently.

 This is why I love this board. Apparently...lol



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lilyofcourse


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I had all my thank yous out in about a month.

Reason it took so long was the engraver had issues.



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Lindley


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Happy early anniversary njn.

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What a jerk.

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Lindley wrote:

Happy early anniversary njn.

 Thanks Lindley.  When I got married I had only known my DH 86 days.  And 28 of that he had been away at work.  People, husker included, said it wouldn't last a year and that I had no right bringing him into my home because I didn't know him.  I knew in my heart it was the right decision.  I don't know how but I just did.  I understand that people thought I was making the wrong decision but I also knew I didn't live my life waiting for everyone to approve of my choices.  I don't regret marrying him for one minute.  We've had some hard times, I won't lie, but we definitely do make a great pair.  It's hard to believe it's been that long.  flan, husker, LL, and a few others have been there since day one.  It does seem like just yesterday but it's definitely been a lot longer than that!



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weltschmerz


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Lindley wrote:

Happy early anniversary njn.

 Thanks Lindley.  When I got married I had only known my DH 86 days.  And 28 of that he had been away at work.  People, husker included, said it wouldn't last a year and that I had no right bringing him into my home because I didn't know him.  I knew in my heart it was the right decision.  I don't know how but I just did.  I understand that people thought I was making the wrong decision but I also knew I didn't live my life waiting for everyone to approve of my choices.  I don't regret marrying him for one minute.  We've had some hard times, I won't lie, but we definitely do make a great pair.  It's hard to believe it's been that long.  flan, husker, LL, and a few others have been there since day one.  It does seem like just yesterday but it's definitely been a lot longer than that!

86 days? Was it a 90 Day Fiancé situation?

 

biggrin



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I personally don't think a Thank you Note has to be the be all and end all. I think one can thank someone in other ways as well. They should have immediately picked up the phone and gushed to grandma and then taken her out for lunch or something. I find a phone call far more personal than a note. I find a text or message via Facebook far more personal but that's me. But, yes, everyone should acknowledge a gift and the generosity of the giver for sure.

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flan327


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Last gift that effer would ever get from me.

flan

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huskerbb


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flan327 wrote:

Last gift that effer would ever get from me.

flan

Sure--but--you can't buy a relationship where none existed, anyway.  



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weltschmerz wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Lindley wrote:

Happy early anniversary njn.

 Thanks Lindley.  When I got married I had only known my DH 86 days.  And 28 of that he had been away at work.  People, husker included, said it wouldn't last a year and that I had no right bringing him into my home because I didn't know him.  I knew in my heart it was the right decision.  I don't know how but I just did.  I understand that people thought I was making the wrong decision but I also knew I didn't live my life waiting for everyone to approve of my choices.  I don't regret marrying him for one minute.  We've had some hard times, I won't lie, but we definitely do make a great pair.  It's hard to believe it's been that long.  flan, husker, LL, and a few others have been there since day one.  It does seem like just yesterday but it's definitely been a lot longer than that!

86 days? Was it a 90 Day Fiancé situation?

 

biggrin

 LOL No.  It was crazy.  I just knew he was the one.  I wanted a long engagement and he didn't.  It turned out that he had a lot of sense.  I ended up having my second knee surgery right after we got married and I was able to get on his insurance.  They covered 100% of it.  I honestly don't know why but I really did know he was the right one.  I'm super glad I got married because the first few months were very hard.  The adjustment for both of us was incredible.  And then throw in that I had to testify in court about a family member.  And also my son was diagnosed with Aspergers.  So yes, it was an incredibly difficult first year.  If we hadn't been married I probably would have walked away.  But I take my marriage vows seriously so I didn't.  I stuck with it.  I'm glad I did.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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flan327 wrote:

Last gift that effer would ever get from me.

flan

 I told DH about this and he says he thinks the GS thought the wife wrote a thank you and the wife thought the GS would call and say thank you.   That actually makes a lot of sense. 



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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Last gift that effer would ever get from me.

flan

 I told DH about this and he says he thinks the GS thought the wife wrote a thank you and the wife thought the GS would call and say thank you.   That actually makes a lot of sense. 

Maybe--but if the only reason you are going to contact your grandmother in several months is due to a monetary gift, then you don't have much of a relationship with your grandmother.   



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Nobody Just Nobody


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huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Last gift that effer would ever get from me.

flan

 I told DH about this and he says he thinks the GS thought the wife wrote a thank you and the wife thought the GS would call and say thank you.   That actually makes a lot of sense. 

Maybe--but if the only reason you are going to contact your grandmother in several months is due to a monetary gift, then you don't have much of a relationship with your grandmother.   

 Well, obviously they weren't that close. 



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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Last gift that effer would ever get from me.

flan

 I told DH about this and he says he thinks the GS thought the wife wrote a thank you and the wife thought the GS would call and say thank you.   That actually makes a lot of sense. 

Maybe--but if the only reason you are going to contact your grandmother in several months is due to a monetary gift, then you don't have much of a relationship with your grandmother.   

 Well, obviously they weren't that close. 

I guess that's what I'm saying. 

I understand grandma being annoyed about not getting thanked.

I just think that grandma seems to be under the mistaken impression that they do have, or did have, a closer relationship.   



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flan327


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For that amount of money, she should get a phone call AND a note.

flan

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FNW


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She should have received a thank you, whether in person, on paper, text, or whatever. However, it would seem that the cash gift may have been her last ditch effort to buy a relationship with a grandchild with whom she did not have a relationship. I find it hard to believe someone would ignore such generosity unless it came with a price.

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ed11563


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I think she should call him, to make sure HE was the one who cashed the check. Also get a copy of the front and back of the check from the bank.

 

 



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