TOTALLY GEEKED!

I have an old boyfriend who, at age 57, lives with his 90+ year old mother. Always has. But he has another home at the lake, as well as several rental properties up and down California. He did well enough to retire at age 38, and lives comfortably. Why does he still live at his mother's home? Not sure. But she has several acres which house chickens, goats, geese, his horse, and an avocado orchard which he harvests and sells to local Mexican restaurants. He's a hard worker, and a hard player (not drugs or that sort of thing, but outdoorsy stuff like horseback riding, hiking, skiing, etc.) While I would raise an eyebrow at any other man for his living situation, I never gave it a second thought and admire the way he has cared for her and the homestead, remodeled (he's a contractor by trade) his mother's home, landscaped it, etc. And he is there for her and cares for her, as she is pretty much blind now.

I think it all depends on each family's situation. More and more are remaining at home longer, whether to save money or to act as caretaker.

Right, LL. And that was pretty much the situation for my old boyfriend. He built billboards all over the state and was usually out of town on jobs. Now he splits his time between his mother's and his lake house, as well as taking his horse out on trips.

I too wouldn't worry about if he is working and self sufficient. He is not living in their basement playing video games.

Divine Geek wrote:

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Lindley wrote:

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I too wouldn't worry about if he is working and self sufficient. He is not living in their basement playing video games.

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 You can do both 

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 Lol! I Know. I was thinking of the Brad paisley  song I'm not sure if this is the title  "so much cooler  online"

The fact is, for every child living at home who is self-sufficient and it "works" as a living situation for all involved--there are 10 who have moved back home due to poor choices they have made, or, sometimes, circumstances beyond their control, but nonetheless point to a lack of true independence.

She needs to get over the "my heart breaks" melodrama. Geez.

If u have nothing better to do than judge on. But if u got in my face about it i would tell you where u may stuff it. lol

Yeah i would tell u to stuff it either way. If i want to support my own adult child that is your business how exactly?

I agree. If you dont want people in your business then dont involve them.

huskerbb wrote:

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The fact is, for every child living at home who is self-sufficient and it "works" as a living situation for all involved--there are 10 who have moved back home due to poor choices they have made, or, sometimes, circumstances beyond their control, but nonetheless point to a lack of true independence.

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 I agree. I ended up in my parents basement because of a mix of poor choices and circumstances beyond my control. I had no job and $300 to my name. 2+ years later it's a differnt story.  I could easily live on my own, but this works for us. However, I personally know many people who live with their parents and allow their parents to fully support them with no intention of changing that. 

I moved back home after an abusive marriage for protection at age 20. I paid room/board and made my own car payments, etc. I had chores, too. I stayed for a few years until I saved up enough to buy a house. My parents wanted me to move back again after I split from my second marriage but I said no thank you. I worked two jobs to cover my student loans which became due to avoid that. Ultimately, I moved back East where the economy was better, the housing was cheaper, and my job and future more secure. But I don't judge those who do chose to move back as long as they contribute.

-- Edited by FNW on Saturday 12th of December 2015 11:23:15 AM

When I met my DH he was living at home with his mom and dad. People called him a loser. Back then he worked 28 days on and 28 days off. It really wasn't feasible for him to have his own place. I wouldn't want to pay rent on a place I only lived in half a year. He always offered to pay his parents rent but they refused. When we started dating we talked about him getting his own apartment close to me but that didn't seem to make any sense either. He'd be gone for a month and then spend the next month at home with me. So that didn't even seem smart. I think people don't always look at the whole situation.

ed11563 wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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When I met my DH he was living at home with his mom and dad. People called him a loser. Back then he worked 28 days on and 28 days off. It really wasn't feasible for him to have his own place. I wouldn't want to pay rent on a place I only lived in half a year. He always offered to pay his parents rent but they refused. When we started dating we talked about him getting his own apartment close to me but that didn't seem to make any sense either. He'd be gone for a month and then spend the next month at home with me. So that didn't even seem smart. I think people don't always look at the whole situation.

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I agree, and just want to add that it's nobody's business. Adults making adult decisions are not subject to second-guessing. 

 

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 Correct.  And, other people have no need to "look at the whole situation" because it isn't their concern anyway.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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You know, America is quite rare in sending our kids off into the world. Most other cultures, kids live at home until they get married. And sometimes, still then.

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 But they don't usuallly wait until they are 30 to get married, either.  For girls, they often do so in their teens.

FNW wrote:

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#2 tells me he's never moving out. He's going to live in our house with his brother long after we're gone.

We met with the financial adviser last week. Interesting conversation about college. Says the smart thing is for them to go to community college, transfer their units to another university for their bachelor's degree and save a ton of money. And he predicted that by the time the boys go to college most of it will be on-line anyway. Apparently Harvard already does a lot of their curriculum on-line, as to most other colleges.

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 My response would have been "I'll take that bet."